if i could show you, you would never leave it...
Robert wanted to come through tonight; we were supposed to play cards. But I decided that I should just chill, watch movies and enjoy my solitude. Last night Lee and I played cards and Gatoropoly, but then got into a fight because he doesn't think I fought this battle on my own. He thinks because I receive a scholarship that the government "stepped in and helped me" when I think that because I had to qualify for the scholarship by earning good grades, then much of the credit can be attributed to me. I agree that, and am very grateful for, I have been blessed with the scholarships given to me by my previous school and the Florida government. But he makes it sound like I was just spoon fed since I got kicked out 4 years ago. And everywhere I go, tension follows.
Anyway, I work 1-7 tomorrow, hopefully I'll make a couple of bones..........but that's not what I want to talk about....why am I hiding.
And as I sit here, of course, my mind starts to wander. And I think about him, about us. About how after 2½ years, the tables have now turned. He no longer calls when I break it off, he finally agrees that separation is necessary. He "just wants to live his life," after he wanted me to be the woman of his life. Too many times I left him and he crawled back to me. Too many times I kicked him while he was down and knew he'd return. The reason being: he threw his jar of hurt and hit me square in the heart and that blow never healed--the shatterlings still remain. Most likely it's another female that encouraged his concrete severance of the our loose sutures and that rattles the shards of hurt inside my heart. And that makes me mad but also happy because if he can find someone that makes him happier, then I want him to be with her. It's only right when you care about someone.
For now there's a void, but I know I can trust time to vacuum up the shards of broke hearts from the carpet.
And every man in his life would mistake it as love!
MCL
RiP
Mercedes
1988-2002
Miss you
Anyway, I work 1-7 tomorrow, hopefully I'll make a couple of bones..........but that's not what I want to talk about....why am I hiding.
And as I sit here, of course, my mind starts to wander. And I think about him, about us. About how after 2½ years, the tables have now turned. He no longer calls when I break it off, he finally agrees that separation is necessary. He "just wants to live his life," after he wanted me to be the woman of his life. Too many times I left him and he crawled back to me. Too many times I kicked him while he was down and knew he'd return. The reason being: he threw his jar of hurt and hit me square in the heart and that blow never healed--the shatterlings still remain. Most likely it's another female that encouraged his concrete severance of the our loose sutures and that rattles the shards of hurt inside my heart. And that makes me mad but also happy because if he can find someone that makes him happier, then I want him to be with her. It's only right when you care about someone.
For now there's a void, but I know I can trust time to vacuum up the shards of broke hearts from the carpet.
And every man in his life would mistake it as love!
MCL
RiP
Mercedes
1988-2002
Miss you