God loves ugly
I have a lot of thoughts in my head but can't figure out how to articulate them. I mean, of course I'll try but it's not going to come how I want it to. I'm way too old for this teenager depressed bullshit:
I'm kind of scared of life right now. It's got me a at a low and I don't know how to pick myself up. It's got me chewin on a cigarette and smoking my gum. I hate to admit it, but when I was thinner (and consequently more confident) life had a sunny outline around it. And even then, I had my lonely.
Many a woman, as sick as it is, if they feel pretty then they feel that they've a competitive edge on other females. This is all many females think about as they stare at other women more than they do men. As they give dirty looks to the thick white girl who is dressed too cute for her race.
To a man, his friends are his comfort. To a woman, her man is her comfort. The man in her life will take reign over the women many times and I can't deal with this notion.
Some of my friends feel that if I had the fuel of confidence then I'd be truly dangerous.
I'm too sweet of a person, people are frequent attracted to the quick-witted, insulting sarcasm of an extrovert. And when I'm an asshole, I'm a prideful asshole and no one likes a proud bitch. I'm too interested in offering genuine friendships and sober fun and it is to these ideas that people aren't attracted. And sometimes I'm too interested in not looking dumb. I don't smoke, I don't drink beer and so maybe I'm just not fun enough. Maybe I intimidate people with use of big words and knowledge about sports? Some people try to imitate my way with words and with people, others seem afraid of it? I'm not sure. Sometimes the intelligent cooks get pissed at me for being right, so maybe I should play the slower role. Maybe I should not come off as so independent so accomplished. Maybe I shouldn't make people feel like they have to compare to me because I've been through so much. But I can't be too nice, but not to bitchy.
Perhaps I'm too independent. Perhaps I'm too needy because my lack of parents and their affection. Perhaps I think too much. Perhaps I need a drink.
You get a better reaction out of people when you make no indication that you're above them in intelligence. If you're too pretty, girls are automatically against you. So being smart on top of everything will push people away even more. And true, it takes time to get to know someone. And it takes years of silence and people-watching to adapt to the nature of the company you're around and learn how to maneuver among them.
I'm just a lost, independent, lonely soul who floats around and makes great accomplishes for my age. I can't find a man that likes me for me up here. It's not getting easier as I work harder. As I get older, my accomplishments get less appreciation and become more expected. I never caught on to the stuff that other kids my age like and my confidence drops into the negative integers as my body wears its endured stress on the outside.
And suddenly I understand the appeal of drugs and alcohol. I should take up cigarettes. I need a tan and some weight loss. I should cut and dye my hair.
No, I'm just going to sit right here, holding on to my ugly.
MCL
RiP
Mercedes
1988-2002
I just want you here
I'm kind of scared of life right now. It's got me a at a low and I don't know how to pick myself up. It's got me chewin on a cigarette and smoking my gum. I hate to admit it, but when I was thinner (and consequently more confident) life had a sunny outline around it. And even then, I had my lonely.
Many a woman, as sick as it is, if they feel pretty then they feel that they've a competitive edge on other females. This is all many females think about as they stare at other women more than they do men. As they give dirty looks to the thick white girl who is dressed too cute for her race.
To a man, his friends are his comfort. To a woman, her man is her comfort. The man in her life will take reign over the women many times and I can't deal with this notion.
Some of my friends feel that if I had the fuel of confidence then I'd be truly dangerous.
I'm too sweet of a person, people are frequent attracted to the quick-witted, insulting sarcasm of an extrovert. And when I'm an asshole, I'm a prideful asshole and no one likes a proud bitch. I'm too interested in offering genuine friendships and sober fun and it is to these ideas that people aren't attracted. And sometimes I'm too interested in not looking dumb. I don't smoke, I don't drink beer and so maybe I'm just not fun enough. Maybe I intimidate people with use of big words and knowledge about sports? Some people try to imitate my way with words and with people, others seem afraid of it? I'm not sure. Sometimes the intelligent cooks get pissed at me for being right, so maybe I should play the slower role. Maybe I should not come off as so independent so accomplished. Maybe I shouldn't make people feel like they have to compare to me because I've been through so much. But I can't be too nice, but not to bitchy.
Perhaps I'm too independent. Perhaps I'm too needy because my lack of parents and their affection. Perhaps I think too much. Perhaps I need a drink.
You get a better reaction out of people when you make no indication that you're above them in intelligence. If you're too pretty, girls are automatically against you. So being smart on top of everything will push people away even more. And true, it takes time to get to know someone. And it takes years of silence and people-watching to adapt to the nature of the company you're around and learn how to maneuver among them.
I'm just a lost, independent, lonely soul who floats around and makes great accomplishes for my age. I can't find a man that likes me for me up here. It's not getting easier as I work harder. As I get older, my accomplishments get less appreciation and become more expected. I never caught on to the stuff that other kids my age like and my confidence drops into the negative integers as my body wears its endured stress on the outside.
And suddenly I understand the appeal of drugs and alcohol. I should take up cigarettes. I need a tan and some weight loss. I should cut and dye my hair.
No, I'm just going to sit right here, holding on to my ugly.
MCL
RiP
Mercedes
1988-2002
I just want you here