life--- an unfaithful out look
wow. everyones doing these posts on how the year went. so just to be a cool kid i shall attempt to write my feeling down about this year. august 2003. begining of school. went from hanging out with jes to skipping class to hang out with her. i made a shit load of new friends as i recall. it went from chilling with eric to chilling with shanera. the multiple boyfriends i have had and then the multiple frineds( haha ) i have had. the thing that stands out the most that still makes me wanna rip out my heart and out it in a box and ship it to houston would be dememtrian. i had waited that whole summer for him. well i guess i had waited that whole summer to find out if he had aids or not. demetrian was the turning point in my life. i was on a steady stream of becoming a tara crackhead. once he went to rehab i got a job mainly so i wouldn't get kicked out of my hizzle. then it was that weekend with cudda that out me over the top. staying up all night at chris's house smoking way too much. drinking( well actually that wasn't with the tara crew) but none the less i was still drunk and i'm pretty sure there was more drugs than that involved. yeah then that morning trying to get some sleep at the park in the tunnel then finding no success riding well being pumped on a bike on our way to the donut shop. ending up at dememtrians house throwing rocks at jocks window to try to get him to wake up and open the door. just to find myself sitting outside in the back year with all of us smoking our own personal sweets. thats the last real weekend i remember. vividly. then being on a bus heading to va. everything from then on out has been sort of a blur. it just seems so weird to me b/c i'm no longer in texas. so on a scale of 1 to 10 this would have to be a 3.5 of a year. my feeling latley have been that i feel exposed like naked all the time. i can't seem to figure out why. i just feel vulnerable and taken advantage of.