TooLazyForSpellCheck
i cant find my journal so this is this. I cant describe quite how i feel. i feel a sort of great uforia. this feels
like the best drug i have ever done. coffee and aa. wow who knew? ive never felt this great w/o drugs. this is the
best drug ever. i feel like tonight has opened up a door. a door that has ben locked for so long that ive been
trying to getinto. it finally opened! i want ti scream to the world how i feel right now! maybe its the coffe or the
meds? i hope not. i hope the door has really been opened. behind that door is god and hope, love, greatness, help,
happiness, beautiful feelings i have never felt before. i thought i felt them but they were a fake drug induced
hallusination.i hope someday i will learn how to spell or find spell check! im so awake i cant close my eyes, and so
tired i cant keep them open. i need this. i need this.i need you...the love you feel at AA is indescribable! books
are there to be pased on to someone who needs love and hope. Q stands for Q is my centering medicine. i think i have
found some of the real feelings they talk about. i am really feeling!!! i mean im feeling the real bad feeings for
real now too. but you have to suffer alot to be greatly rewarded. sooo tired awake...so full of love i think i might
have to puke to feel better! hah! this is the begining of the rest of my life! you will find out who the real people
in your life are. and prey for the rest of them. prey prey prey...i still havent quite grasped that concept...all i
know is god went from a no god and scary to for real and love. helping myself will ultimately help a whole lot of
people. i am here for a purpose this time....ive never had that....ive never had a whole lot but i have the world
right now and if tomorrow i wake up and its all gone i still have now. you dont know what tomorrow is and yesterday
had passed, all you have is this moment..it will pass.
like the best drug i have ever done. coffee and aa. wow who knew? ive never felt this great w/o drugs. this is the
best drug ever. i feel like tonight has opened up a door. a door that has ben locked for so long that ive been
trying to getinto. it finally opened! i want ti scream to the world how i feel right now! maybe its the coffe or the
meds? i hope not. i hope the door has really been opened. behind that door is god and hope, love, greatness, help,
happiness, beautiful feelings i have never felt before. i thought i felt them but they were a fake drug induced
hallusination.i hope someday i will learn how to spell or find spell check! im so awake i cant close my eyes, and so
tired i cant keep them open. i need this. i need this.i need you...the love you feel at AA is indescribable! books
are there to be pased on to someone who needs love and hope. Q stands for Q is my centering medicine. i think i have
found some of the real feelings they talk about. i am really feeling!!! i mean im feeling the real bad feeings for
real now too. but you have to suffer alot to be greatly rewarded. sooo tired awake...so full of love i think i might
have to puke to feel better! hah! this is the begining of the rest of my life! you will find out who the real people
in your life are. and prey for the rest of them. prey prey prey...i still havent quite grasped that concept...all i
know is god went from a no god and scary to for real and love. helping myself will ultimately help a whole lot of
people. i am here for a purpose this time....ive never had that....ive never had a whole lot but i have the world
right now and if tomorrow i wake up and its all gone i still have now. you dont know what tomorrow is and yesterday
had passed, all you have is this moment..it will pass.