(no subject)
Yup, ok, yeah, mhm.
Yeah I'm in love with Nicole.
Damnit.
I've only felt like this once before. Go on back to this entry if you want to see.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pimpingeek/2004/09/11/
Yup so if you want to know how that eventually played out, it ended with me hating myself and cutting myself and then having fun in therapy for a couple of months. So...if history is going to repeat itself (and that seems to happen a lot in my life), that isn't exactly a good thing. So right now I'm praying that maybe something will work out. Maybe we'll end up just being friends and not really caring. Maybe she'll forget all about me and I won't really care. Or maybe, just maybe, I might be able to have a future with her. Maybe we can actually have a relationship. You know, the kind when you both love each other and are happy. Hm I guess that's what we have now, huh? Maybe I should just stop caring. I have an amazing relationship with Nicoleypoo...I just don't want it to end. See, these are things that could happen. But of course...most likely, I'll end up doing/saying something stupid, making her hate me and making me hate myself, and then I'll go back into that chronic depression that I love so much. Maybe I should just stop caring...maybe I should just lay down and die...I don't even know why I'm typing this on here. I guess it's just a way to vent. Otherwise I would just be yelled at by that guy in the mirror.
I hope she's having a good time in Europe...she deserves it...
God I love her so much.
Yeah I'm in love with Nicole.
Damnit.
I've only felt like this once before. Go on back to this entry if you want to see.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pimpingeek/2004/09/11/
Yup so if you want to know how that eventually played out, it ended with me hating myself and cutting myself and then having fun in therapy for a couple of months. So...if history is going to repeat itself (and that seems to happen a lot in my life), that isn't exactly a good thing. So right now I'm praying that maybe something will work out. Maybe we'll end up just being friends and not really caring. Maybe she'll forget all about me and I won't really care. Or maybe, just maybe, I might be able to have a future with her. Maybe we can actually have a relationship. You know, the kind when you both love each other and are happy. Hm I guess that's what we have now, huh? Maybe I should just stop caring. I have an amazing relationship with Nicoleypoo...I just don't want it to end. See, these are things that could happen. But of course...most likely, I'll end up doing/saying something stupid, making her hate me and making me hate myself, and then I'll go back into that chronic depression that I love so much. Maybe I should just stop caring...maybe I should just lay down and die...I don't even know why I'm typing this on here. I guess it's just a way to vent. Otherwise I would just be yelled at by that guy in the mirror.
I hope she's having a good time in Europe...she deserves it...
God I love her so much.