I Get Crazy For You for Saline_Joy
Recipient: saline_joy
Author; unomega
Title: I Get Crazy For You
Pairing: Brad/Ray
Word Count: 1936
Rating: PG
Summary: Brad and Ray have an outstanding date to meet at the Rusty Anchor at 6:15 every August 2nd. They have had this date for the last four years since Brad got out. This year, one of them doesn’t show.
Warnings: I don’t know anyone, own anything, nada; I don’t mean to offend anyone, omg please don’t sue me.
Brad and Ray have an outstanding date to meet at the Rusty Anchor at 6:15 every August 2nd. They have had this date for the last four years since Brad got out. Neither ever mentions it; not so much as a “see you next year” when the day comes around.
There has been hell and high waters to raze in order to meet each other, but without fail they always came. And it was only last year that they left together.
This year, it really doesn’t look like Brad will make it. Won’t make it/won’t come; Ray won’t know the difference. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t come, though. Ray figured they were always lucky the last few years that their date was always open for both of them.
Brad and Ray have an outstanding date on August 2nd every year. This year, one of them doesn’t show.
~
Brad doesn’t know how to bring it up. At his computer, trying to email Ray, Brad was completely at a loss. That was always the beauty of their relationship (friends…more, whatever), he always had something to say to Ray and he always knew how to say it. But the extra oomph to their relationship has been that Ray always gave as good as he got, no matter how little he actually showed it. Brad was an expert at reading Ray. He could take Ray’s cues and find the right thing to say and know that Ray would get it. This time, on electronic paper, not in person, without Ray’s gorgeous face to stare at, Brad has no idea. This time, Brad can’t be loud and suggestive like he always had been, he can’t demand Ray’s attention with gestures and singing. It was like he couldn’t be Brad without Ray there being Ray.
~
Ray wasn’t disappointed. He knew better than that because Brad was only human and there were probably a million and one great reasons why he didn’t make it yesterday. But Ray’s human, too, and he has his share of weaknesses and pitfalls. And believing Brad Colbert is too good for him has always been his most important weakness. He didn’t feel like less of a Marine; no, not even Brad could make him feel that way. Brad Colbert being too good for him just made him feel like less of a man in some ways.
So he got it. He understood. He lied and pretended it wasn’t about thinking of all the one hundred and one reasons that were more important than him.
~
It was September 8th the next time they saw each other. Most of their meeting was crafted by Brad himself, seeing how Ray was too stubborn and probably too hurt to reach out the first hand.
Maybe if the time before last hadn’t ended the way it did, seeing each other roughly a month too late wouldn’t have been a big deal. But it did end that way: them together in Ray’s house with the patio doors open and the wind rushing in like life became a romance novel. It did end with Ray admitting how long it had been for him, this, wanting Brad. It did end with Brad finally seeing Ray for who he has always been: his.
Seeing each other on September 8th might as well have not happened, though, given how quickly Ray turned out of the Rusty Anchor like he realized he forgot his wallet.
It seemed to not matter that Brad bugged Walt a million times over the course of a month about when he was seeing Ray next. Walt always said he should call Ray himself if he wants to know so fucking badly, and Hey buddy, be a pal, fuck that Brad you’re not in the Corps anymore and Ray’s promoted there’s no fucking reason why he can’t talk to a friend like a former RTO and tell him we’re all going out on Sunday before we leave. Walt’s cheeky grin could be heard over the line. Brad always answered with a scowl.
But Brad stayed. Didn’t rush out of the same door to follow Ray to his bike. He knew he’d see Ray for sure tomorrow.
~
“Brad, seriously it’s four in the fucking morning. What the hell is your problem?”
“Ray, man, let me in.”
“Fine, grab the couch if you’re so wasted. But don’t yak, I don’t want my house smelling like your shit.”
“Ray...”
Five beats.
“I’m sorry Ray.”
“Brad… don’t touch me okay? Seriously, fuck off with the grabby hands.”
“Shut up Ray, don’t give me this ‘no means no’ bullshit. No Ray, please, fuck, just give me two minutes. Would you just stay the fuck still-Ray I’m serious, I’m not gonna fucking ask again.”
Brad got his hands on Ray’s shoulders. Ray started to look as tired as four a.m. should look. Holding Ray now, seeing the bags under his eyes, looking around Ray’s living room at the pictures of his family, his mother, at the duffel neatly packed and sitting by the door.
“About last time, I just…I couldn’t do the ‘one last time bullshit’ okay? I can’t sit here and see you march off to yet another fucking tour and hope that when you get back you still fucking give two shits about me. I didn’t come because…it’s too much, and maybe for the first fucking time since I drove your stupid humvee, I had too much to say and didn’t know how to fucking say it, all right? Maybe I’m fucking scared that there’s the possibility you might not come back and we would have absolutely said nothing about how we fucking feel because I can’t remember why we thought waiting a year to talk would be enough.”
Ray stared at him with lethal stillness. It was only then Brad thought to let go of his shoulders.
“What do you want me to say Brad?”
“Did you even care when I didn’t come? Answer me that.”
Did I fucking care you stupid twat? Of course I fucking cared. Of course it broke my damn heart that you couldn’t even call to say you weren’t coming. There are these neat little inventions called cellular devices and they do these neat little tricks where you can communicate with someone and fuck you for not caring enough to tell me you weren’t coming. Fuck you for not being man enough to tell me about Stacy or Stephanie or Sara. But you were doing me a favor, right? You’re sorry I’m not good enough and you didn’t want to hurt me by having to tell. At least this fucking time it wasn’t my best friend, Brad. Because that would have been oh so cliché for that to happen to me twice.
“And you just assumed I was there waiting for you?”
“Fuck you, you went, I can see it all over your face. You may think you can pull that stupid Iceman shit with me, but you forget Ray fucking Person, I am the one person on the planet you cannot do that to,” Brad heaved, sighed, panted.
“Fuck you, my mother is really hard to convince, just so you fucking know.”
Ray wasn’t smiling…but his efforts to relieve some tension were appreciated.
“Fuck Ray, I tried to go. I did. But I can’t come running when I can’t even be sure that you’re going to be there. You have this really annoying way of convincing yourself of one thing and completely disregarding everything else.”
“And what am I convinced of that is so unlike the truth, then?”
“That I wouldn’t be completely devoted to you as I hope you would be to me. I can be there Ray, when you get off the plane, or the bus, or when you walk through that door. I can fucking be there for you, but I have to know you’ll want me there and that you’d be there for me too. You make me want to do stupid things if it’ll make you smile that stupid smile; like pet a bear or step in front of buses. There’s gotta be something romantic about that.” Weird look. “I think.”
Ten beats. Ray just stared at Brad.
Fucking Iceman bullshit, it was working on Brad this one time. This one freaking time.
“Ray, please, I’m actually begging here.”
“In the years since I met your stupid ass, there has not been one day that I have not wanted you.”
Surprise, joy, elation, thrill.
“I have wanted to tell you that for years. But you left the Corps, and while that may have been the better decision for you, it meant you weren’t there with me. Some days… it feels like you aren’t there for me. It’s stupid, and I know fucking irrational also, but I never said I was fucking good at this. The last person I let get a toe in the door fucking showed me how wrong I was to ever trust her. Or that retard best friend of mine. And you’re my best friend now Brad. It felt like I lost you. In every way.”
Ray looked as broken as Brad had ever seen him look. His shoulders sagged and his posture was complete shit, and he wasn’t the Iceman right now. Right now he was Ray, just Ray, just as Brad has always wanted him.
“When do you have to ship out?” Bad asked quietly.
“1300. Which is why I was fucking sleeping at four in the morning, asshole.”
“Wanna take a ride with me? You can take a nap in the car, you big pussy.”
Ray nodded and the reminder of his imminent obligation to leave (Brad) once again reared its head and it felt like all that was left was proving the one thing Brad knew was absolutely true.
~
“Will you forgive me for not coming if I say I’ll forgive you for being a giant fucking idiot?”
“You’re really good at persuasion, man, how many years did you do debate? Three weeks, right?” Never let it be said that Ray Person wasn’t a complete pro at sarcasm.
“No seriously Ray, I can’t believe you’ve been doubting me this whole time.”
“I haven’t been-”
“Um, you kinda have been if you thought leaving the Corps meant not being completely and totally ass over head in love with you, God help me.”
Ten beats. Waves crashing, hands in pockets, and all the pieces falling into place.
Ray looked at Brad like he used to back during OIF. It was one look that said everything. There were nights where they’d be in the humvee just waiting for the next fuck up to come down the line, and they’d look, and Reporter would snore in the back, Walt would be humming and Trombley would sigh and sigh and sigh.
Their looks composed a language they only knew, only they could speak and only for each other.
Ray was looking at Brad now, compelling him to understand, begging him to not have to say it, that all Brad needed to be assured of was that as long as Ray had Brad to come home to, that Ray would have something to call home.
Author; unomega
Title: I Get Crazy For You
Pairing: Brad/Ray
Word Count: 1936
Rating: PG
Summary: Brad and Ray have an outstanding date to meet at the Rusty Anchor at 6:15 every August 2nd. They have had this date for the last four years since Brad got out. This year, one of them doesn’t show.
Warnings: I don’t know anyone, own anything, nada; I don’t mean to offend anyone, omg please don’t sue me.
Brad and Ray have an outstanding date to meet at the Rusty Anchor at 6:15 every August 2nd. They have had this date for the last four years since Brad got out. Neither ever mentions it; not so much as a “see you next year” when the day comes around.
There has been hell and high waters to raze in order to meet each other, but without fail they always came. And it was only last year that they left together.
This year, it really doesn’t look like Brad will make it. Won’t make it/won’t come; Ray won’t know the difference. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t come, though. Ray figured they were always lucky the last few years that their date was always open for both of them.
Brad and Ray have an outstanding date on August 2nd every year. This year, one of them doesn’t show.
~
Brad doesn’t know how to bring it up. At his computer, trying to email Ray, Brad was completely at a loss. That was always the beauty of their relationship (friends…more, whatever), he always had something to say to Ray and he always knew how to say it. But the extra oomph to their relationship has been that Ray always gave as good as he got, no matter how little he actually showed it. Brad was an expert at reading Ray. He could take Ray’s cues and find the right thing to say and know that Ray would get it. This time, on electronic paper, not in person, without Ray’s gorgeous face to stare at, Brad has no idea. This time, Brad can’t be loud and suggestive like he always had been, he can’t demand Ray’s attention with gestures and singing. It was like he couldn’t be Brad without Ray there being Ray.
~
Ray wasn’t disappointed. He knew better than that because Brad was only human and there were probably a million and one great reasons why he didn’t make it yesterday. But Ray’s human, too, and he has his share of weaknesses and pitfalls. And believing Brad Colbert is too good for him has always been his most important weakness. He didn’t feel like less of a Marine; no, not even Brad could make him feel that way. Brad Colbert being too good for him just made him feel like less of a man in some ways.
So he got it. He understood. He lied and pretended it wasn’t about thinking of all the one hundred and one reasons that were more important than him.
~
It was September 8th the next time they saw each other. Most of their meeting was crafted by Brad himself, seeing how Ray was too stubborn and probably too hurt to reach out the first hand.
Maybe if the time before last hadn’t ended the way it did, seeing each other roughly a month too late wouldn’t have been a big deal. But it did end that way: them together in Ray’s house with the patio doors open and the wind rushing in like life became a romance novel. It did end with Ray admitting how long it had been for him, this, wanting Brad. It did end with Brad finally seeing Ray for who he has always been: his.
Seeing each other on September 8th might as well have not happened, though, given how quickly Ray turned out of the Rusty Anchor like he realized he forgot his wallet.
It seemed to not matter that Brad bugged Walt a million times over the course of a month about when he was seeing Ray next. Walt always said he should call Ray himself if he wants to know so fucking badly, and Hey buddy, be a pal, fuck that Brad you’re not in the Corps anymore and Ray’s promoted there’s no fucking reason why he can’t talk to a friend like a former RTO and tell him we’re all going out on Sunday before we leave. Walt’s cheeky grin could be heard over the line. Brad always answered with a scowl.
But Brad stayed. Didn’t rush out of the same door to follow Ray to his bike. He knew he’d see Ray for sure tomorrow.
~
“Brad, seriously it’s four in the fucking morning. What the hell is your problem?”
“Ray, man, let me in.”
“Fine, grab the couch if you’re so wasted. But don’t yak, I don’t want my house smelling like your shit.”
“Ray...”
Five beats.
“I’m sorry Ray.”
“Brad… don’t touch me okay? Seriously, fuck off with the grabby hands.”
“Shut up Ray, don’t give me this ‘no means no’ bullshit. No Ray, please, fuck, just give me two minutes. Would you just stay the fuck still-Ray I’m serious, I’m not gonna fucking ask again.”
Brad got his hands on Ray’s shoulders. Ray started to look as tired as four a.m. should look. Holding Ray now, seeing the bags under his eyes, looking around Ray’s living room at the pictures of his family, his mother, at the duffel neatly packed and sitting by the door.
“About last time, I just…I couldn’t do the ‘one last time bullshit’ okay? I can’t sit here and see you march off to yet another fucking tour and hope that when you get back you still fucking give two shits about me. I didn’t come because…it’s too much, and maybe for the first fucking time since I drove your stupid humvee, I had too much to say and didn’t know how to fucking say it, all right? Maybe I’m fucking scared that there’s the possibility you might not come back and we would have absolutely said nothing about how we fucking feel because I can’t remember why we thought waiting a year to talk would be enough.”
Ray stared at him with lethal stillness. It was only then Brad thought to let go of his shoulders.
“What do you want me to say Brad?”
“Did you even care when I didn’t come? Answer me that.”
Did I fucking care you stupid twat? Of course I fucking cared. Of course it broke my damn heart that you couldn’t even call to say you weren’t coming. There are these neat little inventions called cellular devices and they do these neat little tricks where you can communicate with someone and fuck you for not caring enough to tell me you weren’t coming. Fuck you for not being man enough to tell me about Stacy or Stephanie or Sara. But you were doing me a favor, right? You’re sorry I’m not good enough and you didn’t want to hurt me by having to tell. At least this fucking time it wasn’t my best friend, Brad. Because that would have been oh so cliché for that to happen to me twice.
“And you just assumed I was there waiting for you?”
“Fuck you, you went, I can see it all over your face. You may think you can pull that stupid Iceman shit with me, but you forget Ray fucking Person, I am the one person on the planet you cannot do that to,” Brad heaved, sighed, panted.
“Fuck you, my mother is really hard to convince, just so you fucking know.”
Ray wasn’t smiling…but his efforts to relieve some tension were appreciated.
“Fuck Ray, I tried to go. I did. But I can’t come running when I can’t even be sure that you’re going to be there. You have this really annoying way of convincing yourself of one thing and completely disregarding everything else.”
“And what am I convinced of that is so unlike the truth, then?”
“That I wouldn’t be completely devoted to you as I hope you would be to me. I can be there Ray, when you get off the plane, or the bus, or when you walk through that door. I can fucking be there for you, but I have to know you’ll want me there and that you’d be there for me too. You make me want to do stupid things if it’ll make you smile that stupid smile; like pet a bear or step in front of buses. There’s gotta be something romantic about that.” Weird look. “I think.”
Ten beats. Ray just stared at Brad.
Fucking Iceman bullshit, it was working on Brad this one time. This one freaking time.
“Ray, please, I’m actually begging here.”
“In the years since I met your stupid ass, there has not been one day that I have not wanted you.”
Surprise, joy, elation, thrill.
“I have wanted to tell you that for years. But you left the Corps, and while that may have been the better decision for you, it meant you weren’t there with me. Some days… it feels like you aren’t there for me. It’s stupid, and I know fucking irrational also, but I never said I was fucking good at this. The last person I let get a toe in the door fucking showed me how wrong I was to ever trust her. Or that retard best friend of mine. And you’re my best friend now Brad. It felt like I lost you. In every way.”
Ray looked as broken as Brad had ever seen him look. His shoulders sagged and his posture was complete shit, and he wasn’t the Iceman right now. Right now he was Ray, just Ray, just as Brad has always wanted him.
“When do you have to ship out?” Bad asked quietly.
“1300. Which is why I was fucking sleeping at four in the morning, asshole.”
“Wanna take a ride with me? You can take a nap in the car, you big pussy.”
Ray nodded and the reminder of his imminent obligation to leave (Brad) once again reared its head and it felt like all that was left was proving the one thing Brad knew was absolutely true.
~
“Will you forgive me for not coming if I say I’ll forgive you for being a giant fucking idiot?”
“You’re really good at persuasion, man, how many years did you do debate? Three weeks, right?” Never let it be said that Ray Person wasn’t a complete pro at sarcasm.
“No seriously Ray, I can’t believe you’ve been doubting me this whole time.”
“I haven’t been-”
“Um, you kinda have been if you thought leaving the Corps meant not being completely and totally ass over head in love with you, God help me.”
Ten beats. Waves crashing, hands in pockets, and all the pieces falling into place.
Ray looked at Brad like he used to back during OIF. It was one look that said everything. There were nights where they’d be in the humvee just waiting for the next fuck up to come down the line, and they’d look, and Reporter would snore in the back, Walt would be humming and Trombley would sigh and sigh and sigh.
Their looks composed a language they only knew, only they could speak and only for each other.
Ray was looking at Brad now, compelling him to understand, begging him to not have to say it, that all Brad needed to be assured of was that as long as Ray had Brad to come home to, that Ray would have something to call home.