[MEMORY] I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Toushi hadn't slept well. Again.
It seemed that more nights than most he would revisit Koi's death; the face of the still nameless assailant who had lured the three of them to the Scrapyard would sneer at him and taunt him... he would see the blade enter Koi's body... and Toushi would wake and lie flat on his back with the voice of his Hollow laughing in his head.
This morning he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling as the pale light of day began to filter in through his window. He sighed and rolled to his side, looking over at Zangetsu.
Something was hanging from the wrappings that bound his Zanpakutou's hilt. Narrowing his eyes, he got out of bed and went to the sword. Anger and unease bubbled up in his stomach at the thought that someone had managed to get into his room in the night to tie something to Zangetsu. Without thinking, he reached out to take it from his sword and everything went black.
The air smelt like rain.
That was the first thing that struck Toushi when he became aware that he was seeing a memory. It was raining hard, droplets fell from an umbrella before his eyes- he could hear the rain hammering onto the fabric above his head. He was standing in a place surrounded by row upon row of grey stone markers, rigid monuments with names carved in them.
A cemetery.
He was standing before a grave marker with fresh flowers set before it. The name at the top of the marker was carved in kanji. Black peninsula. 黒崎. Kurosaki.
The slightest sound of something clinking, followed by the sudden acrid scent of burning tobacco caused him to turn to look to his right. A dark haired, unshaven man dressed in a black suit, sheltering beneath a dark umbrella, stood with a cigarette in his right hand. His eyes were grey… Toushi was suddenly struck with the oddest sense of déjà-vu when looking at them. Those were his little sister’s eyes.
“Didn’t you quit smoking? Back when Yuzu and Karin were born?” Toushi heard his own voice enquire.
The man looked surprised before lifting the cigarette to his lips and taking a drag. The end of the cigarette glowed in the rainy gloom before he exhaled blue/grey wisps of smoke.
“… She complimented me, around the time we started dating. Said my hand looked cool when I was smoking a cigarette.” He rubbed the back of his head, a wistful smile on his face. “Now that I think about it, that was the only time your mom complimented me on my looks.”
Smiling, the older man leant forward, looking intently at the grave marker that Toushi had been staring at just moments before.
“So every year, I smoke on this day only,” he said calmly. “In front of her.”
So his mother was dead then.
Toushi was sure the gravity of those words would hit him later, as silence fell between them… but something else hit him before the gravity of the situation did. The older man’s hand, to be precise. Right on his back. Toushi could hear the force of the blow but did not feel it. The umbrella in his hand fell lower, no longer doing anything productive.
“Hey, don’t look so sad! Didn’t I just tell you to cheer up!” The stranger’s voice was cheerful , too cheerful, even over the sounds of Toushi’s yelp of discomfort.
“…Why…”
Toushi heard his own voice, small and uncertain, before it began to climb in volume and intensity.
“…Why are you smiling? Why won’t anyone blame me?” There was a slight tremor of raw emotion beneath the escalating anger. “I couldn’t do anything, not a thing… not a thing… Not when Mom died, not now either!”
The other man was silent as Toushi’s building rant finally exploded.
“Why is it?! Nobody blames me! It’s so hard! It’d be easier if you guys all blamed me! Why-“
“Why blame you?”
Toushi found himself looking over at the face of the other man, seeing his expression open and surprised at the outburst.
“Huh?”
“If I were to blame Masaki’s death on you, Masaki would get mad at me. It’s not anyone’s fault that Masaki died.” With the cigarette clamped between his teeth, the man seemed to be smiling at something as though it was his own private joke. “It’s just that the woman that I fell in love with… was a woman who could die protecting her son.”
Toushi was silent for a moment, staring at the older man as he began to walk, and then turned to look at him with a warm smile that could only be called affectionate.
“And don’t forget,” he said with a wink. “You are the guy that the woman I loved gave her life to protect.”
Then Toushi heard a single word slip from his lips that he had been wondering if he would hear throughout the whole exchange.
“…Dad…”
There was a thudding noise, the sound of a leg connecting with his back, and the indignant yelp of painful protest as Toushi’s father’s knee connected with his back.
“Live well I-----,” he said, walking away with the bitter scent of cigarette smoke still in the air. “Live well, age well and go bald well. And die after me. And… if you can, die smiling.”
He paused to take a drag from his cigarette.
“If you can’t… I won’t be able to face Masaki. Don’t hesitate to act. Sadness is a cool thing to shoulder but… you’re still too young.” He began to walk away, raising a hand in a wave without turning back to face his son. “I’ll be waiting down below.”
The rain had stopped. Toushi took a moment in the silence before speaking again.
“You listening, Rukia?”
Rukia? Was there someone else there? Wasn’t… hadn’t he just learnt that his mother’s name was Masaki?
“Does it look like your Shinigami power is returning? Whether it is or not, please… Let me remain a Shinigami for a while longer.” He paused for a moment. “I want to become stronger. Much, much stronger. Strong enough to defend people from Hollows. Strong enough to defeat him!”
He turned to look up an embankment, where a familiar figure stood in the shadow of a tree in the moonlight.
“Otherwise,” he told her. “I’ll never be able to face my mother!”
“I-----,” said Kazahana.
Toushi felt a strange sense of calm as he came to, taking a moment to reflect on what he had just learnt from his memory. He looked down at the now dull Memory Crystal in his hand... and let out a bellow of alarm when he saw that his hand was large and flat and made out of gingerbread.
[Memory is taken from Bleach chapter 25, pg.9- 16. The same scene can be seen here on the Memories in the Rain OVA from 5:24 until the end. Toushi will be spending the next three days as a giant gingerbread man.]
It seemed that more nights than most he would revisit Koi's death; the face of the still nameless assailant who had lured the three of them to the Scrapyard would sneer at him and taunt him... he would see the blade enter Koi's body... and Toushi would wake and lie flat on his back with the voice of his Hollow laughing in his head.
This morning he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling as the pale light of day began to filter in through his window. He sighed and rolled to his side, looking over at Zangetsu.
Something was hanging from the wrappings that bound his Zanpakutou's hilt. Narrowing his eyes, he got out of bed and went to the sword. Anger and unease bubbled up in his stomach at the thought that someone had managed to get into his room in the night to tie something to Zangetsu. Without thinking, he reached out to take it from his sword and everything went black.
The air smelt like rain.
That was the first thing that struck Toushi when he became aware that he was seeing a memory. It was raining hard, droplets fell from an umbrella before his eyes- he could hear the rain hammering onto the fabric above his head. He was standing in a place surrounded by row upon row of grey stone markers, rigid monuments with names carved in them.
A cemetery.
He was standing before a grave marker with fresh flowers set before it. The name at the top of the marker was carved in kanji. Black peninsula. 黒崎. Kurosaki.
The slightest sound of something clinking, followed by the sudden acrid scent of burning tobacco caused him to turn to look to his right. A dark haired, unshaven man dressed in a black suit, sheltering beneath a dark umbrella, stood with a cigarette in his right hand. His eyes were grey… Toushi was suddenly struck with the oddest sense of déjà-vu when looking at them. Those were his little sister’s eyes.
“Didn’t you quit smoking? Back when Yuzu and Karin were born?” Toushi heard his own voice enquire.
The man looked surprised before lifting the cigarette to his lips and taking a drag. The end of the cigarette glowed in the rainy gloom before he exhaled blue/grey wisps of smoke.
“… She complimented me, around the time we started dating. Said my hand looked cool when I was smoking a cigarette.” He rubbed the back of his head, a wistful smile on his face. “Now that I think about it, that was the only time your mom complimented me on my looks.”
Smiling, the older man leant forward, looking intently at the grave marker that Toushi had been staring at just moments before.
“So every year, I smoke on this day only,” he said calmly. “In front of her.”
So his mother was dead then.
Toushi was sure the gravity of those words would hit him later, as silence fell between them… but something else hit him before the gravity of the situation did. The older man’s hand, to be precise. Right on his back. Toushi could hear the force of the blow but did not feel it. The umbrella in his hand fell lower, no longer doing anything productive.
“Hey, don’t look so sad! Didn’t I just tell you to cheer up!” The stranger’s voice was cheerful , too cheerful, even over the sounds of Toushi’s yelp of discomfort.
“…Why…”
Toushi heard his own voice, small and uncertain, before it began to climb in volume and intensity.
“…Why are you smiling? Why won’t anyone blame me?” There was a slight tremor of raw emotion beneath the escalating anger. “I couldn’t do anything, not a thing… not a thing… Not when Mom died, not now either!”
The other man was silent as Toushi’s building rant finally exploded.
“Why is it?! Nobody blames me! It’s so hard! It’d be easier if you guys all blamed me! Why-“
“Why blame you?”
Toushi found himself looking over at the face of the other man, seeing his expression open and surprised at the outburst.
“Huh?”
“If I were to blame Masaki’s death on you, Masaki would get mad at me. It’s not anyone’s fault that Masaki died.” With the cigarette clamped between his teeth, the man seemed to be smiling at something as though it was his own private joke. “It’s just that the woman that I fell in love with… was a woman who could die protecting her son.”
Toushi was silent for a moment, staring at the older man as he began to walk, and then turned to look at him with a warm smile that could only be called affectionate.
“And don’t forget,” he said with a wink. “You are the guy that the woman I loved gave her life to protect.”
Then Toushi heard a single word slip from his lips that he had been wondering if he would hear throughout the whole exchange.
“…Dad…”
There was a thudding noise, the sound of a leg connecting with his back, and the indignant yelp of painful protest as Toushi’s father’s knee connected with his back.
“Live well I-----,” he said, walking away with the bitter scent of cigarette smoke still in the air. “Live well, age well and go bald well. And die after me. And… if you can, die smiling.”
He paused to take a drag from his cigarette.
“If you can’t… I won’t be able to face Masaki. Don’t hesitate to act. Sadness is a cool thing to shoulder but… you’re still too young.” He began to walk away, raising a hand in a wave without turning back to face his son. “I’ll be waiting down below.”
The rain had stopped. Toushi took a moment in the silence before speaking again.
“You listening, Rukia?”
Rukia? Was there someone else there? Wasn’t… hadn’t he just learnt that his mother’s name was Masaki?
“Does it look like your Shinigami power is returning? Whether it is or not, please… Let me remain a Shinigami for a while longer.” He paused for a moment. “I want to become stronger. Much, much stronger. Strong enough to defend people from Hollows. Strong enough to defeat him!”
He turned to look up an embankment, where a familiar figure stood in the shadow of a tree in the moonlight.
“Otherwise,” he told her. “I’ll never be able to face my mother!”
“I-----,” said Kazahana.
Toushi felt a strange sense of calm as he came to, taking a moment to reflect on what he had just learnt from his memory. He looked down at the now dull Memory Crystal in his hand... and let out a bellow of alarm when he saw that his hand was large and flat and made out of gingerbread.
[Memory is taken from Bleach chapter 25, pg.9- 16. The same scene can be seen here on the Memories in the Rain OVA from 5:24 until the end. Toushi will be spending the next three days as a giant gingerbread man.]