Congratulations! It's a thesis!
The 24 hours between Sunday afternoon and Monday afternoon were the most miserable of life, but at the end, I birthed a thesis. It's 70 pages, about 1 inch thick, and I didn't really bother with how many fingers and toes while I was shoving it towards the department administrative assistance (who was glaring at me because I turned it in a few hours late).
At around 5:00 AM the night I was finishing, my Internet stopped working. Just stopped. I was sitting in one of the academic building lounges, guzzling down bottles of Pepsi, and my computer told me it could not find networks to connect to. I disconnected, I restarted, I moved to a new building, and nothing. I frantically spent the next 2 hours finishing all of the parts that didn't require the Internet, and trying to get back on, to no avail. By 7:00 am, I had been silently weeping into toilet paper tissue while it poured outside, writing an email on a public computer to my thesis adviser saying that no way was it going to be in by 9:00 am. It was like, two paragraphs long, totally incoherent, and had me saying "I just don't know what to do" on repeat.
I then realized that Gabe had an ethernet cable that I could maybe borrow. But I didn't have my cellphone, and he was probably asleep. So still sobbing in the pouring rain, I went to his dorm and tried throwing stones at his third floor window. Miracle of miracles, he actually woke up, and blinked confusedly at me before coming down to let me in. At this point, total panic attack set in: sobbing, curling into fetal position, hyperventilating, the works. I said fuck it, and went to sleep, hoping that both my brain and my wireless would be back to functional when I woke up.
At 9AM, my thesis advisor called my dorm phone, asked what the status was, and said that I really needed to have it sent in by 11. I said sure, and began to go to work again, occasionally becoming nauseous at the idea of how much more needed to be done (it was lucky I hadn't eaten anything since the day before). By the time I stumbled into the library to print out the damn thing, I was totally catatonic. Friends came by to congratulate and pat my back, and I was literally not in the world with them. I submitted the damn thing at 2:00 pm, walked back to my room, sat on my bed, and giggled deliriously for about 15 minutes before falling dead asleep.
At around 5:00 AM the night I was finishing, my Internet stopped working. Just stopped. I was sitting in one of the academic building lounges, guzzling down bottles of Pepsi, and my computer told me it could not find networks to connect to. I disconnected, I restarted, I moved to a new building, and nothing. I frantically spent the next 2 hours finishing all of the parts that didn't require the Internet, and trying to get back on, to no avail. By 7:00 am, I had been silently weeping into toilet paper tissue while it poured outside, writing an email on a public computer to my thesis adviser saying that no way was it going to be in by 9:00 am. It was like, two paragraphs long, totally incoherent, and had me saying "I just don't know what to do" on repeat.
I then realized that Gabe had an ethernet cable that I could maybe borrow. But I didn't have my cellphone, and he was probably asleep. So still sobbing in the pouring rain, I went to his dorm and tried throwing stones at his third floor window. Miracle of miracles, he actually woke up, and blinked confusedly at me before coming down to let me in. At this point, total panic attack set in: sobbing, curling into fetal position, hyperventilating, the works. I said fuck it, and went to sleep, hoping that both my brain and my wireless would be back to functional when I woke up.
At 9AM, my thesis advisor called my dorm phone, asked what the status was, and said that I really needed to have it sent in by 11. I said sure, and began to go to work again, occasionally becoming nauseous at the idea of how much more needed to be done (it was lucky I hadn't eaten anything since the day before). By the time I stumbled into the library to print out the damn thing, I was totally catatonic. Friends came by to congratulate and pat my back, and I was literally not in the world with them. I submitted the damn thing at 2:00 pm, walked back to my room, sat on my bed, and giggled deliriously for about 15 minutes before falling dead asleep.