(no subject)
Gosh, I know I never post. I'm too lazy to post. I did try about a week ago to post pictures from our New Orleans trip (which was awesome, by the way) but LJ fucked up the post, and I forgot to copy the post to my clipboard before I clicked the post button. So that post is gone, and I'm too lazy to make it again.
I've been too lazy for a lot of things recently... Too lazy to wake up (this morning) too lazy to eat (this morning, and lunchtime), too lazy to work on my projects (capstone, Torah and Prophets paper, etc.)too lazy to bathe (until this afternoon), too lazy to shave, and too lazy to try and be reasonable about my prospects in life. I know I've got a simple deal here, I have neither the workload nor the pressure that most other students here do. Still, I'm stressed. I'm panicked, I'm terrified. I know that in May I'm going to walk across a stage and take a diploma that may or may not be worth anything at all. I'm going to try desperately to find a job that will pay me a living wage so that I don't have to move back home. And if I don't move back home, chances are that I'll move away from everything I know. I've been surrounded by people for the last three years. I don't even go to the bank alone. If I leave campus, someone is with me (unless I'm headed to Best Buy). What the crap am I going to do if I move somplace far away where I know no one? I'm not like most of you, I have no girlfriend, no one who is committed to me, and me to them. There's a very real, very scary possiblity that things just simply aren't going to work out.
Still, I've got to try and be optimistic. I'm young, there's plenty of time for me to get the kind of job I want, the kind of education I want, the BMW and all the rest. I will have a college diploma, and I feel like I've got a fairly good education to back up that diploma. I know that if I get hired by anyone to do anything that I'll be the best goddamn whatever-the-fuck-they-hire-me-to-do that there ever was! I've got plenty going for me, but still.
Oh well, I know we're all probably feeling a little like this right now (the seniors among us anyway). I talked to my mother tonight, and last night, and she says that we're supposed to be terrified. We'd have to be insane to not be terrified. We've got another, what is it? like eight months left? I'm going to try and enjoy it. I can't spend all my time dreading the change that is coming. I've got to force myself to be optimistic, and to finish the capstone and the projects and the stuff that I've got to finish if I want to graduate (and do I?).
I've been too lazy for a lot of things recently... Too lazy to wake up (this morning) too lazy to eat (this morning, and lunchtime), too lazy to work on my projects (capstone, Torah and Prophets paper, etc.)too lazy to bathe (until this afternoon), too lazy to shave, and too lazy to try and be reasonable about my prospects in life. I know I've got a simple deal here, I have neither the workload nor the pressure that most other students here do. Still, I'm stressed. I'm panicked, I'm terrified. I know that in May I'm going to walk across a stage and take a diploma that may or may not be worth anything at all. I'm going to try desperately to find a job that will pay me a living wage so that I don't have to move back home. And if I don't move back home, chances are that I'll move away from everything I know. I've been surrounded by people for the last three years. I don't even go to the bank alone. If I leave campus, someone is with me (unless I'm headed to Best Buy). What the crap am I going to do if I move somplace far away where I know no one? I'm not like most of you, I have no girlfriend, no one who is committed to me, and me to them. There's a very real, very scary possiblity that things just simply aren't going to work out.
Still, I've got to try and be optimistic. I'm young, there's plenty of time for me to get the kind of job I want, the kind of education I want, the BMW and all the rest. I will have a college diploma, and I feel like I've got a fairly good education to back up that diploma. I know that if I get hired by anyone to do anything that I'll be the best goddamn whatever-the-fuck-they-hire-me-to-do that there ever was! I've got plenty going for me, but still.
Oh well, I know we're all probably feeling a little like this right now (the seniors among us anyway). I talked to my mother tonight, and last night, and she says that we're supposed to be terrified. We'd have to be insane to not be terrified. We've got another, what is it? like eight months left? I'm going to try and enjoy it. I can't spend all my time dreading the change that is coming. I've got to force myself to be optimistic, and to finish the capstone and the projects and the stuff that I've got to finish if I want to graduate (and do I?).