Day 73
Day 73
Your Name: James Sunderland
Suicidal Ideation: 6/10
Homicidal Ideation: 0/10
Amount of Sleep Last Night: 5 hours.
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.: Yeah…. another one.
Moods Experienced Today: Depression.
Mood Triggers: My dream.
Significant Thoughts of the Day: Maybe I should talk to someone about it.
Favorite Time of Day and Why: None yet.
Least Favorite Time of Day and Why: Always night time.
How You Are Enjoying Your Therapy: Not sure.
Noticeable Improvements: None. I’m fine.
I haven’t had dreams like these in a while. Maybe it’s no one else’s business. Which it really isn’t. It’s mine. It’s what I have to deal with. I have sinned. Destroyed the only thing I’ve ever cared about. I deserve this. All of this. The nightmares. Being here. The otherworld. I even deserve that thing following me. God knows it scares me. But, it’s the truth. I don’t think anyone could understand what it’s like. Not fully. There may be similarities, but nothing exact. Not from what I heard from Harry. Even with him around, sometimes it’s so hard to even make it to another day. Without Mary I‘m nothing.
I wonder, how many people here are scared of what could be lurking in the darkness? I keep seeing it. They say it’s not real, but, it feels so real. If I keep looking, would I see her as well? I wish someone would tell me that I’m perfectly fine. I know I’m not crazy. But, someone to reassure me would be great. Maybe I should try meeting with some people. I don’t need people, but things get a little boring sometimes. Maybe it’s not boring. I don’t know anymore. Sometimes I swear I don’t feel anything. Like, I’m dead on the inside.
Sorry this is so scattered. I was going to talk about my dream here. But, I really don’t feel like it now. I apologize.
Your Name: James Sunderland
Suicidal Ideation: 6/10
Homicidal Ideation: 0/10
Amount of Sleep Last Night: 5 hours.
Any Lucid or Vivid Dreams? Explain.: Yeah…. another one.
Moods Experienced Today: Depression.
Mood Triggers: My dream.
Significant Thoughts of the Day: Maybe I should talk to someone about it.
Favorite Time of Day and Why: None yet.
Least Favorite Time of Day and Why: Always night time.
How You Are Enjoying Your Therapy: Not sure.
Noticeable Improvements: None. I’m fine.
I haven’t had dreams like these in a while. Maybe it’s no one else’s business. Which it really isn’t. It’s mine. It’s what I have to deal with. I have sinned. Destroyed the only thing I’ve ever cared about. I deserve this. All of this. The nightmares. Being here. The otherworld. I even deserve that thing following me. God knows it scares me. But, it’s the truth. I don’t think anyone could understand what it’s like. Not fully. There may be similarities, but nothing exact. Not from what I heard from Harry. Even with him around, sometimes it’s so hard to even make it to another day. Without Mary I‘m nothing.
I wonder, how many people here are scared of what could be lurking in the darkness? I keep seeing it. They say it’s not real, but, it feels so real. If I keep looking, would I see her as well? I wish someone would tell me that I’m perfectly fine. I know I’m not crazy. But, someone to reassure me would be great. Maybe I should try meeting with some people. I don’t need people, but things get a little boring sometimes. Maybe it’s not boring. I don’t know anymore. Sometimes I swear I don’t feel anything. Like, I’m dead on the inside.
Sorry this is so scattered. I was going to talk about my dream here. But, I really don’t feel like it now. I apologize.