ONE-SHOT: Yellow (part 2)
Title: Yellow (part 2)
Pairings/Characters: Ryo/Ueda
Rating: NC-17
Warnings:
Prompt: A's attraction to B translates to resentment and results in these frequent meet ups for the roughest hate/love sex.
Kinks: Against a wall, biting, prostate milking, rimming
- so rimming and I also took prompter's word 'frequent' very seriously, au
Summary: Ryo doesn't know how he got so wrapped up in his own pretend game that he missed when Ueda stopped playing.
Notes: Thank you to my beta for being amazingly accommodating and wonderful and not giving up on me. Written for je-fqfest, originally posted here, 14 470 words
Ryo watches for over an hour how Ueda flirts with the disgruntled customer from few weeks back. The one Ryo cock blocked late at night as he waited for Ueda outside of the bar. Possibly in a very literal sense of the words if the way Ueda sizes him up and down now is any indication. Ryo puts a glass of beer in front of a customer with a bit more force than intended and it splashes all over the bar and his fingers. He wishes the man in front of Ueda would have never returned. He concentrates on replacing the beer for his own customer and bowing his head low enough to make it seem like he really means it.
Ueda can sleep with who he wants. Ryo may have kept away from anyone else since that first blow job in the changing room, but it's not like they're exclusive. He could totally go out and get some. He just ... didn't have a need to? Maybe he didn't feel like anyone would really be as good as Ueda is, as easy and satisfying. Simple? Not simple because it's anything but that with Ueda whom Ryo can never read, even after all this time. He always feels like he's left with only crumbles of the real Ueda. If anything, Ueda planning to open his own bar, actually finding a place for it, and doing so without even a word in Ryo's direction has just proven so in the past few weeks.
"I think that's enough gin for like three gin-tonics, Ryo-chan," Ueda says then, from right next to Ryo.
Ryo's skin rises in goosebumps, and he switches for another glass. He's really at it today, might as well dock his own pay for the waste. Ueda leans next to him, looking out into the bar that's slowly emptying down. This is the last round of drinks they're giving out.
"I just had an interesting customer?" Ueda says, when Ryo stays quiet, handing the drink over and busying himself with swiping the bar.
"Are you leaving with him?" It's out of Ryo's mouth before he can catch it.
"Ah, so you noticed," Ueda muses. "For someone who doesn't enjoy people or people watching, you can be pretty observant."
"Ueda, even a dead corpse would notice the way you two were flirting."
Ueda only laughs quietly, finally moving and starting to stack empty glasses into the dishwasher.
"I bet you noticed him that day he waited for me outside the bar too," he says nonchalantly. Ryo's hand stops on the bar.
"Should I apologize because it took you two this long to finally unite or something? Just go already, no need to waste time when I'm closing."
Ueda only continues to clean up. "I guess you're not observant enough though to notice that I sent him away. I just wanted to make him have one more drink before I do it."
Ryo turns around but manages to only stare. Ueda just shrugs in return.
"I mean would you go with him?"
"No, he looked skeezy." Ryo knows he's squeezing his cleaning cloth a little too tightly. He probably doesn't look half as cool as he would like to either.
"No he didn't. He looked rich and kind of luxurious. But okay what about someone else then?" Ueda shouldn't be asking things like this. "Anyone. Someone really attractive."
It's one thing to admit this to himself. It's another thing completely to say this to Ueda. Face to face. When he's leaving this place behind in less than two weeks. Ryo's probably part of the whole package left in the dust.
"Don't be an idiot," Ryo just grumbles in the end, turning back to the bar. There's no too drunk customer to be led out today, and he figures he should be glad for that. It's the little things.
Then Ueda's right there, pressed against Ryo's back as he reaches for one of the last glasses on the bar around him.
"Yeah, me neither. I don't really need anyone else."
It sounds like an admission, like something big, but Ryo knows better than to believe it. Ueda says things like this to customers all the time. "But thank you for being my knight in shining armor the last time," Ueda continues then, rather cheerfully, and he pulls away. "I really appreciate the gesture."
Ryo takes a long time to finish the clean up and to close both of the cash registers. Somehow Ueda is still there, in the changing room, long after he should have been out.
"Let's get something to eat," he suggests, nonchalant and cool and like nothing happened, like what he'd said earlier means nothing. It probably really does, but Ryo finds himself eating ramen with him anyway in this small place around a corner or three. They discuss the best whiskey to have on stock should the choice be more limited than at Ohkura's bar, and before Ueda slides into his own taxi, he pulls at Ryo's open hoodie and kisses him, hard and insistent, but too quick for Ryo to taste more than the thick want underneath Ueda's tongue. He's left standing in front of a closing ramen shop, utterly flabbergasted. His stomach hurts and his heart is trying to ache too, like something's going horribly wrong. Ryo shouldn't really eat pasta this late at night anymore, he's getting too old to digest everything properly.
"Do you trust me?" Ueda asks, as he always does before their barman show. It hasn't changed much over the time even if Ueda attempted to add fire, vetoed by both Ryo and Ohkura. This question too stays the same.
"This is just about the one time I do," Ryo replies. Even if there had been a broken bottle or two, nothing has ever happened to either one of them. When Ueda wanted, he could be really serious about things, and they've come a long way from YouTube videos and online tutorials watched after hours and a round of sex against a hard place. Practice makes perfect, but this too was about to end.
Ryo's answer isn't what Ueda expected. Usually Ryo went for a variation of 'yes, now get on with it.' So Ueda holds Ryo's stare a little longer, eyes dark and unreadable. But then he's getting in the position, and Ryo's hands are soon too full of flying bottles and of glasses that need to be set for him to think about it too much. It's Ueda's last day tomorrow, and this is definitely the last time Ryo's acting like some showman, like a true barman who has learned his skill from the best.
It's only after hours, the moment the front door is locked after the last staff but them, that Ueda corners him about it.
"You seem to have something to say to me," he starts.
Ryo kisses him instead of an answer. Ueda didn't even manage to get out of his uniform as he always does before clean up. He looks upset and determined and hot, and Ryo would rather do this than talk about just about anything really. Ueda's always liked it more when they kissed. This is a sure way to shut him up. When Ryo started liking it just as much is a bit hard to tell.
When Ryo finds himself pressed into the wall right next to the front door, Ueda's hands around his wrists above his head, he figures avoiding this conversation might be a bit tricky. He still manages to slide a knee between Ueda's legs, lifting it up.
"You're not getting out of this," Ueda hisses. He's hard though, and if nothing else, Ryo knows whatever Ueda has in mind is put on hold.
Ueda's fingers might be tight around Ryo's wrists, but his mouth is almost too soft when he kisses Ryo again, when his lips slide down his jaw, and when he mouths down the vein pulsing down Ryo's neck. Ryo arches up to get Ueda closer, to feel more than Ueda's reverent mouth sliding over his own collarbones as far as his shirt allows. He tries not to think about how this too is just a way to get something, to get Ryo spill his thoughts that he's not willing to share.
It's just like the first time, a blow job for an extra shift at the bar outside. Like the second time, a quick fuck over the privileges to open rather than close for the day. A hard kiss and hands down each other's pants as a reward for a first barman show even if it was lame. Even if Ryo called Ueda ugly and a vampire wanna-be just a few weeks back, and tried for the nickname 'fish lips' to stick so hard. Ueda still got to him, like he didn't care about any of that, like it didn't matter, like maybe he knew right from the start how Ryo's stomach trembled with want whenever Ueda was in the room with him.
From the beginning, Ueda knew how to play him right, play him like a hand of cards or the most naive of his customers who always did what he wanted, ordered just one more drink and then another and another, as expensive as Ueda deemed them to be able to afford. He was just one of many to whom Ueda gave just what they wanted, and not one bit more, in return for taking everything and more. Even if it was Ryo who'd pushed him against that old shelf in the storage and fucked him, hard and uncaring for how many bottles broke, it was still Ueda who took, took it all, Ryo's sanity and desire and all the affection. Ryo has always felt like just one of many.
Even if Ueda now claims there was no one else, at least not in his bed, even if he is now gripping Ryo's wrists with one hand and his hip with the other, Ryo's cheek pressed against the wall where his back was minutes ago, even if he is kissing down Ryo's spine as he waits for him to actually take a breather, so full of Ueda's cock and wanting nothing more than for him to move, even if Ueda's fingers eventually press against those of Ryo's upper hand above his head, entwining them, even if this feels slower and somehow desperate, Ryo still doesn't believe Ueda is showing him anything more than he wants, than he thinks was enough for Ryo to see, lying like he always did, transforming into someone different for the moment in which they are stuck.
"Fuck, Ueda move," Ryo grits out, squeezing around Ueda's cock on purpose. His thighs are burning, and he's so close already, just from the way Ueda undressed him, handled him with such ease, showing just how well he knew Ryo's body, just from the way he fingered him and stretched him until Ryo was breathless and shaking for more.
"Not yet," Ueda mumbles, sucking a red mark against one of Ryo's ribs, the nails on Ryo's hips digging deeper and teeth sinking into red, sensitive skin.
"I won't beg," Ryo heaves, wondering how long he can stay upright like this. Ueda could probably hold him up, flatten him against the wall and just fuck him while Ryo felt like a ragged doll in his grip. But before that he tries to push back against it. "I'm not begging."
Ueda just finds another place on his side to bite and suck at before he finally straightens and flattens himself against Ryo's back. His cock throbs inside Ryo, and Ryo doesn't get how he's still so in control of himself.
"You just need to ask nicely. Use my given name. That's all," Ueda whispers right into Ryo's ear, and then he pulls at the earlobe.
Ryo squeezes his eyes shut, trying hard not to think of the way Ueda's fingers push into the marks he's just made while his other hand presses harder against Ryo's hands above them.
"Fuck, just, okay fuck, Tatsuya, fuck me," he grits out. Ueda's next exhale is almost relieved, and his lips slide down to Ryo's shoulder, nipping at the sweaty skin there. He finally pulls back and thrusts back in, fast and hard from the start. Ryo's breath hitches, and then he's pushing back while he can, his own cock bouncing with the strength of Ueda's hips slamming against his ass. It stings, and Ueda's leaning heavily on him.
The bottom one of Ryo's hands pinned above him falls away when the fingers of his other one get tangled with Ueda's even more, and Ryo reaches behind himself, nails digging into Ueda's ass. He's so close, the pleasure spiking up in his underbelly as well as up his back, his thighs burning more and more. It's then that Ueda's hand slips around his ribs and reaches for his cock, moving up and down just twice before Ueda's thumb presses into the slit. Ueda's next thrust is strong and deep, and Ryo comes, his entire body tensing up. His moan is high and too loud in the empty bar, and just when his legs are about to give in, Ueda really pushes him whole into the wall, his hips snapping into him fast, just three more times before he too comes with a groan and one last bite into Ryo's shoulder.
Three minutes later, when Ryo takes his first deep breath post orgasm, he realizes that Ueda's still inside him, feeling sticky and wet and like there's no condom, and he's kissing up Ryo's shoulder and along his hair line.
"Fuck, Ueda you better not have lied about not sticking your dick anywhere else," Ryo says.
Ueda growls into his hair and pulls out of Ryo only to turn him around sharply, pressing right into him, from thighs to chest, palms on either side of Ryo's head.
"When did I ever lie to you?" Ueda asks. He sounds deceptively calm, but just for a second Ryo thinks he can read hurt in his eyes.
Ryo feels Ueda's come sliding down his inner thigh and he shudders. It's dirty, but still he feels ...
"Whatever, it's not important anymore," he says. "You didn't even tell me you wanted to leave until you had it all ready." It still makes him so angry.
"What it is to you anyway? Why should I?" Ueda challenges. Ryo just wants to kiss him again, to shut him up, to make him stop asking questions he doesn't want answers to, to feel Ueda's tongue against his own, to taste him before Ryo fucks everything up.
Instead he drops his head, only that means leaning his forehead on Ueda's shoulder. He's so screwed up. Ueda's heart beats as frantically as his own.
"You're right. I don't know you at all."
Ueda's fingers card through Ryo's sweaty hair, and he just hums. "I've shown you more than to anyone else," he says at last. "You got to watch all the backstage failures and tricks. You just keep insisting on not seeing anything. So I figured if this whole bar thing fails, at least you don't get to notice this failure."
Ryo's fingers are clutching to Ueda's sides, but he doesn't know how to lift his head and look into Ueda's eyes. So he doesn't. Ueda holds him until Ryo's legs stop shaking, like always Ryo's brain supplies, even if no one is watching and there's nothing more of him to take. Only when Ryo's breath evens out completely and his heart slows enough so that maybe he could start thinking straight, Ueda pulls away. He picks up his own clothes and walks to the back. Ryo slides down the wall too afraid to follow or his heart might spill out of his chest, down to Ueda's feet, asking for things. Ryo doesn't know how he got so fucked up and so wrapped up in his own pretend game that he missed when Ueda stopped playing.
Ueda's last shift is a short one.
"I was expecting a big party with Ryo-chan singing his self-composed heart wrenching goodbye to you," Ohkura says from his barstool, watching Ueda polish the last of his glasses at this bar.
"Ryo-chan composes?" Ueda asks innocently, not even looking at Ryo who's waddling about listlessly. He's been wanting to touch Ueda, make him pay attention to him more, maybe make Ueda read in him like in an open book, like when they're alone, but where Ueda's gotten so good at touching Ryo, all the time, Ryo doesn't know how to do the same. Now he shoots an angry look at Ohkura.
"He's pretty good at it too," Ohkura just says to Ueda. "I always thought he'd be the first one to ditch me, finally selling one of his songs big and turning it into a hit."
Ryo's always wanted to compose music, but it never really paid bills, and so one day he said yes to Ohkura's offer.
"Work for me, and you can still compose during the day and on your days off. One day you'll make it big and won't need to work behind the bar anymore. And I'll get the bragging rights for employing a famous song maker." Ryo had no skills but pouring his own sake, but Ohkura paid him well and let him learn enough to be able to basically run one of his first bars by himself. Only Ryo's stopped sending his songs to studios and entertainment companies long ago. He's gotten so rotten.
Ryo looks up to see Ueda watching him.
"Pipe dreams," he mutters.
"Secrets you never showed me," Ueda says. He doesn't sound mad, not like Ryo was yesterday.
There's no party. Ueda slips away with a jaunty wave when Ryo's pouring a drink to a couple of business men. Ohkura sighs from the part of the bar now taken up by Nakamaru then slides closer to Ryo.
"I'm feeling sorry for myself, but then I think about how much harder your love life has just gotten, and I feel better."
Ryo almost chokes on his own tongue.
"What?"
"I'm sorry I made it difficult for you two to date. Ueda running his own bar is going to significantly cut down your time together. I'm thinking it'll be hard to have sex on every surface of my bar when he's not here, too."
Ryo has to go and have a drink of ... vodka. Water is just not going to cut it.
"What?"
"Well, I mean I had no choice." Ohkura throws his hands in the air. "I had to make Ueda promise me he wouldn't take you with him. I might have begged. But I just couldn't lose both of you at the same time."
Ryo stares, at Ohkura and at where the entrance to the bar is, where Ueda has disappeared.
Ryo knew that Ueda didn't plan to spend the rest of his life bartending for Ohkura. He remembers Ueda saying so more than once. It's just one of the things Ryo has stored under the shelf labeled 'Ueda' in his brain, together with Ueda's crooked pinky, plush lips, piano playing, stupid laughter, strong arms, same taste for music, and sometimes dreamy eyes, when no one--but Ryo--was looking. It's the shelf that Ryo always thought too empty, understocked, only to realize he has no stock management skills whatsoever because his Ueda shelf is overflowing, mixing with the stuff on the shelf called 'pesky emotions that Ryo doesn't know how to handle.' Which is why Ryo just didn't ... handle it. He just let it all lay there, keeping still just like himself until it caused an absolute havoc during the inventory forced upon himself by the reality of no Ueda from tomorrow on.
On the top shelf of Ryo's locker, where Ryo stores his baseball caps, Ryo finds a note written in Ueda's messy writing. It's an address, of what Ueda claims is his bar. Different than all the others Ryo heard around the bar from the staff here.
Come see it sometimes. For free booze.
The bar is in Asakusa. The entrance is traditional; wooden door and a white sheet with the sign for ‘yellow’ on it in dark blue. It shimmers in the light breeze and the old looking lampion hanging of the door. It took Ryo three days to get here, along with Uchi's wonderful remark of "no one sleeps exclusively with another guy for over three years just because they're conveniently around all the time. Least of all with you, Ryo-chan. I hate to break this to you, but there are definitely more attractive men around who also do not suffer from crippling fear of showing emotions outside their song lyrics."
So Ryo takes a day off. He hasn't done that in ages, and he spends it wandering around his small apartment, cooking enough spaghetti for at least three people and strumming his guitar.
It's past ten in the evening when Ryo opens the door to Ueda's bar. He's hit with the wave of nostalgia, taking in the light wood of the bar on the side, three sides of it framing the back wall. There's sake, a wide selection of it, but there's also whisky and bourbon and cognac and vodka and gin and all the other alcohol a respectable bar needs to have. The selection might not be the biggest, but it's tasteful. More rather than less of what Ryo would choose. The beer tap and the sink is just where Ryo always wanted to have it in Ohkura's bar. The glasses look simple, and old fashioned, just like the music streaming from ... a gramophone. There's a huge stack of vinyls right next to it. A simple light bulb hangs above it all, giving almost the most light in the entire bar.
Other than the bar stools, there are only a few small tables spread around the place. In the corner, Ryo notices a small platform, barely big enough for a table, but that's not what it seems to be for. There's only a chair and a guitar set in a corner. Ryo's fingers itch.
"If you'd like to, go ahead and play something. First drink is on the house for those who play a song," someone says then, and Ryo turns to realize they're talking to him.
The person behind the bar wears a simple white shirt, but somehow feels flashy in this place. Not Junno flashy, but still. Something's off, and Ryo doesn't think it's the clumsy way he handles a tap and pours sake to two elder guests sitting at the bar.
He's about to say that maybe later, when he notices a big sliding door on the other side of the bar.
"You have an outside space?" he wonders out loud, and the bartender nods.
"It's not much though."
It's a deck, where one can sit on a cushion with legs hanging off it, looking out at a tiny garden, with water running down an arm of a bamboo rocking fountain. Ryo imagines how much bigger the entire place would look like in summer with the sliding door open completely. The bamboo of the fountain clucks, and the arm moves up. Ryo has to laugh. He feels this place shows off just like Ueda does. It starts to rain, but Ryo's safely hidden under deck's roof. Okay, so maybe it is a really cool idea.
"Did you just laugh at my wonderful water installation?" Ryo hears then, a voice from behind, and he knows who this is. "Maybe I should reconsider my offer of free booze. Only treat you like any other customer. A drink for a song."
"I could run you out of business," Ryo muses. "Would you come back then? Junno and Nakamaru are like the worst manzai duo this side of Japan, when together."
Ueda laughs, sliding down to sit close enough to Ryo for their thighs to press together. "I'd offer you a job here, but I already have the second bartender."
Ryo swallows the question. What happened to the promise to Ohkura? To Ueda's supposed rule of no cranky bartenders?
"He's so flashy, though," he says, instead.
"Yeah, a pornstar fresh in retirement." Ueda nods. "I'm teaching him everything from the scratch. I hear it's the best."
"Why would you make that up, of all things?" Ryo grumbles. Ueda's eyes are twinkling in the feeble light of lampions swinging in the wind. "Pornstar my ass."
"You have none of that, but I fucked people like that too. And got fucked by them too. I was very universal," the bartender in question says from the door. He's slowly putting a tray with a bottle of sake and two small glasses down. "I'm Kamenashi, but I used to go under Turtle at my previous job. If you ever wanted to check me out," he says then winks and slinks back inside.
Ryo chokes on nothing, and Ueda laughs, loud and boisterous, throwing his head back. He has to lean back on his palms to not fall backwards, and Ryo watches, a bit fascinated with the way Ueda's body is arched like this, muscles on his neck stretched back. It's inviting, and Ryo catches himself wondering if the hollow of Ueda's neck still tastes the same or what would happen if he leaned over and lapped his tongue over the pulse point on Ueda's neck right now. He doesn't register that Ueda's stopped laughing and is watching him until Ueda moves, sitting back up and facing Ryo instead of the garden.
"Do you like my bar, Ryo-chan?" he asks, voice so low it makes the hair on the back of Ryo's neck stand.
"I ... what is this place even trying to be?" Ryo asks back, a bit annoyed. It's so quiet out here, only water running and raindrops falling over the green leaves in the middle of Tokyo.
Ueda chuckles, but doesn't stop looking right through Ryo. "You're always like that, needing an exact shape, a definition. Does it really matter? It's many things, one at a time or all at the same time. None of them is less real or true than the other."
Ryo thinks that should create a chaos, a mishmash of things that one cannot relate to. Still, he … feels good here, despite the tension in his body and the slow simmer of heat in his stomach because Ueda's too close, looking too deep inside him.
"I don't know, not anymore," he sighs.
"It's a simple question, really." Ueda doesn't plan to let him off.
"I ... I do. I like this," Ryo says at last. He thinks he means it, remembering the nostalgia, the tingle in the pads of his fingers at the sight of the guitar, and the pleased thrill at the selection of drinks, the surprise of coming outside to this. "I really do."
Ueda relaxes next to him. "Good, I used tons of your suggestions too," he says, and before Ryo can protest that he didn't even know this place was being created, Ueda's moving, swinging his leg over Ryo's thighs, and straddling him.
"Now, how about me? Do you like me?"
Ueda's warm and a bit imposing above Ryo. And it hasn't been that long since they last touched, but Ryo feels the longing and the relief coming with the closeness. His hands are already settled where Ueda's thighs end and his hips begin, thumbs running in circles.
"You're hot," Ryo settles on. That already feels monumental said out loud.
"Well of course I am. You're too, even when you're all aloof and trying to pretend nothing can really get to you. I also find it cute how you are so confused when you realize you actually aren't made of stone but instead you feel all these things. It's endearing really." Ueda runs his finger over Ryo's eyebrows that are furrowed because Ryo is not cute or endearing and ... his hands squeeze around Ueda's hips, because Ryo's stomach is rolling, but not unpleasantly. It's more like maybe he enjoys this, Ueda touching him and being so easily familiar with him. "You're totally a fuzzy ball of feelings on the inside," Ueda speaks again. "So do you--"
Ryo does what usually works the best, he straightens up, one hand shooting to Ueda's floppy hair, and kisses him. He bumps the ridge of his nose into Ueda's thick rimmed glasses, but Ueda takes it in stride, sucking on Ryo's tongue when he tries to pull back and taking the glasses off easily.
There are people just on the other side of the wall, Ryo tries to remind himself, but this feels so good, so soothing, more relief and want flooding him as he tastes Ueda's mouth, so warm and familiar. He doesn't think much before he slides his mouth down Ueda's jaw and sucks over his bobbing Adam's apple when Ueda arches on his lap. When Ryo kisses lower, trying to get at Ueda's collarbones, Ueda laughs, both hands settling over Ryo's shoulders.
"You're always so distracting," he mutters. "I don't know what I like about you, really."
Ryo's breath hitches, but he only comes up to kiss Ueda back, eyes decidedly closed to not see more than he can handle.
"You," he starts, as he nips and sucks at Ueda's wonderful lower lips. As always he's mostly gone already, too wrapped up in Ueda for anything else to matter. He's always hated it, or so he thought. He'd always told Ueda he did so. "You're so overwhelming," he says now.
He feels Ueda tremble above him, and then Ueda's rolling his hips down, with clear intent.
"I live above this place now, and I was thinking we could actually make it to my bed for once," he says, his hand suddenly sliding down Ryo's front and undoing the buttons so easily on the way. "But yeah, whatever, the deck needs breaking in anyway."
Ueda's hand fists Ryo's open shirt as he rolls his hips again and again, and Ryo's cock is already hard and so painful in his jeans he probably just needs a bit more, the pressure constant and almost painful. But just as he tries to pull Ueda more down and against him, Ueda stops, both hands pressing on Ryo's chest until Ryo's lying down.
"Tatsuya," he says, and it comes out whiny. Ueda's eyes are shining tough, as if he was happy, and his hips give a little jerk. He starts undoing his own shirt.
"People," Ryo murmurs, but Ueda doesn't even look in the direction of the door.
"We're closing soon, plus Kazuya won't let anyone back here," Ueda says. Where he was so sure undoing the buttons on Ryo's shirt, his hands are unsteady on his own. Ryo reaches over, helping.
It's already different, slower and shaky like they haven't done this uncountable times. It's somehow new when Ryo runs his palms over Ueda's sides, causing a sharp intake of breath, when his fingers play with Ueda's ribs like he plays with his guitars. His cock is throbbing, and Ueda's elbows feel seconds from giving in the moment he props his palms on either side of Ryo to lean over him. It's so fucking slow. Still Ryo leans up, kisses around one of Ueda's nipples and sucks on the other, thumbs writing circles above Ueda's waistband until Ueda hisses and whines.
"Please," he says, and Ryo didn't calculate this in. Ueda isn't pleading because that's what Ryo wants to hear. It's so much better. Ueda's thighs squeeze on either side of Ryo's, and Ryo finally drags the zipper of Ueda's pants down, feeling the pleasure zing through his own body, spurred on by excitement.
Ueda breaths out, deep and loud exhale, and then he's chuckling at himself, at them both as they try to wriggle out of their pants and underwear, all caution thrown to the wind. It's Ryo whose breath gets stuck inside him along with words, which is good because he keeps thinking how nice Ueda is like this, foolish and soft and trembling above Ryo. It's all so much to weed through and figure out that Ryo notices too late that Ueda is digging through his own pockets, pulling out lube and coating his own fingers in it. He must look incredulous though because Ueda only leans down, nuzzling his nose against Ryo's cheek, and sighs.
"I was totally hoping you'd stop by soon. Wanted to be prepared for all the options."
Ryo, it seems, is not prepared for any of them because his stomach lurches when Ueda reaches behind himself, his head dropping to Ryo's chest, forehead pressed somewhere above where Ryo's heart is trying to beat out of it, and starts to stretch himself.
"Fuck," he mutters, and Ueda's tongue peaks out and licks at the skin in reach. Ryo only holds Ueda's sides, and takes it all in, Ueda's cock brushing his stomach, Ueda's breath sticky on Ryo's chest, Ueda's hand shaking next to Ryo's neck, muscles flexing and relaxing. He threads fingers of one of his hands through Ueda's hair before he realizes he's doing it, scratching Ueda's scalp until Ueda lifts his head up, breathing out Ryo's name and reaching up for a kiss.
They stay like that for a moment, kissing and nipping at each other, and Ryo watches now, the way Ueda's nose scrunches up and his eyelashes flutter while he moves against his own fingers. Ueda's cock is leaving a wet trail on Ryo's stomach, and it's all so erotic. Ryo just wants to touch Ueda everywhere, but he's afraid of Ueda collapsing if he lets go of his middle.
"Switch with me," he says, making a decision, and Ueda goes easily, flopping on his back next to Ryo. He scoots back when Ryo moves over him, pushing at his thighs. He's heaving breaths, stomach flexing, chest blotchy and even muscles in his thighs twitching. Ryo soothes his palm over the pale skin there and kisses right over Ueda's hipbone and then lower, mouthing over Ueda's happy trail. His tongue licks the wet head of Ueda's cock, and it's so easy to just take all of it into his mouth, lips tight as he slides down.
Ueda trashes and arches underneath him, fingers grabbing at Ryo's hair and shoulder, but all Ryo concentrates on is the throbbing vein that his tongue slides over and the way Ueda's thighs feel seizing up under Ryo's palms.
"Ryo, stop, no I'm gonna..." Ueda's voice is hoarse and weak, and Ryo hollows his checks and suck as he pulls back then lets his teeth scrape a bit over the too hot skin when he goes back down, as far as he can manage. Ueda's nails scratch his shoulder, and he comes with a loud moan and more profanities on his tongue. His thighs finally relax, and Ryo laps around the head of his cock, licks into the slit until he's pulled back up Ueda's body and into his mouth.
"Not what I had in mind," Ueda mutters, before kissing Ryo hard, wrapping his legs around him and pressing them close.
"Yeah?" Ryo mumbles weakly, fingers wrapped around Ueda's biceps and feeling the ache in his cock now, the strain in his entire body.
"Wanted to feel you come inside me," Ueda says, with no scruple, and Ryo's cock twitches against Ueda's firm belly.
They never took this much time, Ryo's never found so many of Ueda's buttons to push, never was Ueda so utterly his. Ryo doesn't want to pull away. "Make me come again?" Ueda asks, just when Ryo's sucking a bruise behind his ear. And yeah, Ryo wants to.
He starts where Ueda probably left of, three fingers massaging Ueda's rim and slipping inside him easily. He spreads them apart, feels Ueda's rim flutter, but he doesn't look down to watch. He folds one of Ueda's legs against his chest, the shin of it over Ryo's shoulder, and presses close to him, letting Ueda lick and nip at him until Ryo finds his prostate and pushes pads of his fingers into it. Ueda can't kiss after that, head thrown back, hips frantic in the futile effort to meet Ryo's fingers, voice growing high pitched. Ryo feels Ueda's cock hardening again where he has it trapped against his thigh and sucks a mark or three into Ueda's chest while he enjoys the way Ueda's whole being is wanting more of Ryo's touch, of Ryo.
When Ryo finally pulls his fingers away and pushes inside Ueda, they're both so close again. Ueda clamps around Ryo's cock and Ryo rolls his hips, easily finding the way to push inside Ueda so that his cock always brushes Ueda's prostate. They don't even move too fast, but Ryo's thrusts are deep and strong, and Ueda's clutching to him and repeating his name and encouraging, "yes so good, just like that."
Ryo lamely thinks it probably means something if this still feels more than good, after so many times, and if he enjoys it, a bit too much, knowing Ueda's body and his tells, taking all the best of him. Ueda's other leg locks around Ryo's thigh, and Ryo's been on the edge for so long that it's all it takes for him to come, his hips spasming, his vision blurry, and his head fuzzy.
Ueda groans, and Ryo has barely enough presence to reach between them to pull Ueda off. He doesn't even have to work for it much, just one drag of his palm up Ueda's cock is enough for him to come too.
They're sticky, and Ueda's kissing him again the moment Ryo eases his leg down from between them. Ryo can't do more than keep up, enjoying the thickness of Ueda's tongue against his own and behind his teeth. It's cold here now, but if Ueda can take it, with his back and ass pressed into the wood of the deck, so can Ryo.
"Uhm, now I get it why you had no problem hiring a former porn star. I should have recognized a fellow enthusiast," Ryo hears suddenly, and when he turns his head towards the door, Kamenashi is standing there with a huge grin on his face.
"Ah. I only really get enthusiastic about Ryo-chan here," Ueda says. "And his flat butt." He might have sounded nonchalant if he wasn't hoarse and still breathing too fast.
Ryo can't even find the energy to appear offended, too stuck on 'only'.
Kame shrugs. "We're closed, so it wasn't even that scandalous really, but I can't figure out how to close the cash register. I really wish you'd just show me the manual, but ..."
"Give me a minute," Ueda says, and he tries to pinch Ryo's side to make him move. Ryo has his forehead pressed against Ueda's chest, his face and ears red, and he refuses to budge because then Kamenashi would see much more. He'd probably be shameless enough to ogle Ueda, and that is not happening.
"Careful there," Kame just laughs, and then he's gone.
Ueda's laughing again too, and Ryo finds himself doing the same. Ueda ends up running his palm down Ryo's cheek and neck, squeezing the back of it and kissing the crown of Ryo's head like it's something normal, something they do all the time too.
"Let me up," he murmurs, and Ryo pulls out. He hears Ueda whine, low under his breath, and he wants to pull him back close and kiss him, and maybe dip his own fingers into him again and see if Ueda can come the third time, just for Ryo, while they lie out here and kiss and touch. Fuck, Ryo's so over his head. Ueda's already on his feet, pulling his clothes on, forgoing the underwear and using it to clean himself a little.
"Don't panic while out here all by yourself," he says and disappears inside.
Ryo follows his example to the dot then watches the water fountain tip once, twice, with the same hollow cluck. His head is still fuzzy, and his lips sting from too much kissing, and maybe from the drag of a Ueda's cock against them. He feels so fucking content.
Back inside, there's no sign of Kamenashi, and Ueda's behind the register, his tongue peeking out as he pushes random buttons. Ryo thinks he hasn't read the manual to his new cash register either. Typical. Then Ueda starts humming, something nonsensical, and Ryo starts imagining how it would sound if he made a song out of it. Or if he came closer and felt the rumble of Ueda's chest with his hand. He settles for pressing his chest against Ueda's back and perching his chin on Ueda's shoulder, watching him struggle and calling him an idiot. In the end he figures out what Ueda should do and shows him. Ueda sighs.
"I drown at least one phone in my tub once a month, you know. This is why I should have totally stolen you from Ohkura."
"So I could close for you every day?" Ryo asks, his stomach still feeling all floppy at the thought that Ueda really wanted to do that.
"Well, the sex anywhere, anytime isn't that bad either, but we're getting older, so honestly I don't mind if we move part of it to a proper bed and actually go on scheduled dates either."
They're just standing behind the bar now, Ueda's fingers playing with Ryo's on Ueda's stomach, between the haphazardly buttoned up buttons of Ueda's shirt.
"Dates?" Ryo still almost chokes on the word.
"But I have rules. Like don't ever take me to a 250-yen restaurant ever again; that was really not classy. And ramen restaurant is allowed only once every two weeks. And I get to taste how your home cooked food tastes, since you claim you can actually cook."
"Dates," Ryo deadpans.
"Well, you like me, so ..."
Ueda's hand falters a little over Ryo's, and his stomach trembles.
"I ... I do. Like you," Ryo manages to say. Only to prove Uchi was wrong and he could totally do that. He did that. He burrows his nose into Ueda's neck. He's probably liked Ueda for long enough now that maybe he could try and actually say it again. Sometimes. If it's not too soon.
"See. Last rule is to call me by my given name," Ueda says after a moment, and his fingers are squeezing Ryo's own really tight now. Ryo huffs. "Okay, but you could at least try? Maybe, when we fuck again?"
Ryo remembers the way Ueda looked at him when he said his name tonight, still remembers Ueda trembling like a leaf moments after. Like it really mattered.
"I'll do my best," he mumbles. He doesn't mean just the name, and Ueda probably knows because he relaxes. Ryo sucks a mark into the nape of his neck.
"Can I offer you a shower, a bed and fresh underwear for now?" Ueda wonders, when Ryo doesn't stop but keeps kissing down Ueda's shoulder.
"Will you be in all three of those?" Ryo asks. Ueda's next laugh is loud and really not attractive, and it bounces of all the walls.
"You're so greedy tonight, Ryo-chan."
Ueda has no idea. Ryo has so many plans right now. Like playing on that tiny stage across the bar the next morning. And then letting Ueda ride him in that chair. Like cutting down his shifts at the bar to start composing again. Because Ueda finally getting out and managing all this just makes him want to try hard again, for himself. Like spending summer nights on Ueda's deck being his worst distraction ever. Like stocking Ueda's everything on the shelf in his mind labeled with his name, and possibly expanding the storage into Ryo's heart.
"Tatsuya," he says. Ueda only sighs and steps away from Ryo.
"This way."
end
A/N SO this was a return to je fic after over a year and it was not easy, really all my love to my beta. But in the end, yet again, I'm glad I took the chance, the prompt was just so me I couldn't pass it up. <3
Sorry for spamming, and I'm not trying to be dramatic but it may have really been the last time.
♥
Pairings/Characters: Ryo/Ueda
Rating: NC-17
Warnings:
Prompt: A's attraction to B translates to resentment and results in these frequent meet ups for the roughest hate/love sex.
Kinks: Against a wall, biting, prostate milking, rimming
- so rimming and I also took prompter's word 'frequent' very seriously, au
Summary: Ryo doesn't know how he got so wrapped up in his own pretend game that he missed when Ueda stopped playing.
Notes: Thank you to my beta for being amazingly accommodating and wonderful and not giving up on me. Written for je-fqfest, originally posted here, 14 470 words
Ryo watches for over an hour how Ueda flirts with the disgruntled customer from few weeks back. The one Ryo cock blocked late at night as he waited for Ueda outside of the bar. Possibly in a very literal sense of the words if the way Ueda sizes him up and down now is any indication. Ryo puts a glass of beer in front of a customer with a bit more force than intended and it splashes all over the bar and his fingers. He wishes the man in front of Ueda would have never returned. He concentrates on replacing the beer for his own customer and bowing his head low enough to make it seem like he really means it.
Ueda can sleep with who he wants. Ryo may have kept away from anyone else since that first blow job in the changing room, but it's not like they're exclusive. He could totally go out and get some. He just ... didn't have a need to? Maybe he didn't feel like anyone would really be as good as Ueda is, as easy and satisfying. Simple? Not simple because it's anything but that with Ueda whom Ryo can never read, even after all this time. He always feels like he's left with only crumbles of the real Ueda. If anything, Ueda planning to open his own bar, actually finding a place for it, and doing so without even a word in Ryo's direction has just proven so in the past few weeks.
"I think that's enough gin for like three gin-tonics, Ryo-chan," Ueda says then, from right next to Ryo.
Ryo's skin rises in goosebumps, and he switches for another glass. He's really at it today, might as well dock his own pay for the waste. Ueda leans next to him, looking out into the bar that's slowly emptying down. This is the last round of drinks they're giving out.
"I just had an interesting customer?" Ueda says, when Ryo stays quiet, handing the drink over and busying himself with swiping the bar.
"Are you leaving with him?" It's out of Ryo's mouth before he can catch it.
"Ah, so you noticed," Ueda muses. "For someone who doesn't enjoy people or people watching, you can be pretty observant."
"Ueda, even a dead corpse would notice the way you two were flirting."
Ueda only laughs quietly, finally moving and starting to stack empty glasses into the dishwasher.
"I bet you noticed him that day he waited for me outside the bar too," he says nonchalantly. Ryo's hand stops on the bar.
"Should I apologize because it took you two this long to finally unite or something? Just go already, no need to waste time when I'm closing."
Ueda only continues to clean up. "I guess you're not observant enough though to notice that I sent him away. I just wanted to make him have one more drink before I do it."
Ryo turns around but manages to only stare. Ueda just shrugs in return.
"I mean would you go with him?"
"No, he looked skeezy." Ryo knows he's squeezing his cleaning cloth a little too tightly. He probably doesn't look half as cool as he would like to either.
"No he didn't. He looked rich and kind of luxurious. But okay what about someone else then?" Ueda shouldn't be asking things like this. "Anyone. Someone really attractive."
It's one thing to admit this to himself. It's another thing completely to say this to Ueda. Face to face. When he's leaving this place behind in less than two weeks. Ryo's probably part of the whole package left in the dust.
"Don't be an idiot," Ryo just grumbles in the end, turning back to the bar. There's no too drunk customer to be led out today, and he figures he should be glad for that. It's the little things.
Then Ueda's right there, pressed against Ryo's back as he reaches for one of the last glasses on the bar around him.
"Yeah, me neither. I don't really need anyone else."
It sounds like an admission, like something big, but Ryo knows better than to believe it. Ueda says things like this to customers all the time. "But thank you for being my knight in shining armor the last time," Ueda continues then, rather cheerfully, and he pulls away. "I really appreciate the gesture."
Ryo takes a long time to finish the clean up and to close both of the cash registers. Somehow Ueda is still there, in the changing room, long after he should have been out.
"Let's get something to eat," he suggests, nonchalant and cool and like nothing happened, like what he'd said earlier means nothing. It probably really does, but Ryo finds himself eating ramen with him anyway in this small place around a corner or three. They discuss the best whiskey to have on stock should the choice be more limited than at Ohkura's bar, and before Ueda slides into his own taxi, he pulls at Ryo's open hoodie and kisses him, hard and insistent, but too quick for Ryo to taste more than the thick want underneath Ueda's tongue. He's left standing in front of a closing ramen shop, utterly flabbergasted. His stomach hurts and his heart is trying to ache too, like something's going horribly wrong. Ryo shouldn't really eat pasta this late at night anymore, he's getting too old to digest everything properly.
"Do you trust me?" Ueda asks, as he always does before their barman show. It hasn't changed much over the time even if Ueda attempted to add fire, vetoed by both Ryo and Ohkura. This question too stays the same.
"This is just about the one time I do," Ryo replies. Even if there had been a broken bottle or two, nothing has ever happened to either one of them. When Ueda wanted, he could be really serious about things, and they've come a long way from YouTube videos and online tutorials watched after hours and a round of sex against a hard place. Practice makes perfect, but this too was about to end.
Ryo's answer isn't what Ueda expected. Usually Ryo went for a variation of 'yes, now get on with it.' So Ueda holds Ryo's stare a little longer, eyes dark and unreadable. But then he's getting in the position, and Ryo's hands are soon too full of flying bottles and of glasses that need to be set for him to think about it too much. It's Ueda's last day tomorrow, and this is definitely the last time Ryo's acting like some showman, like a true barman who has learned his skill from the best.
It's only after hours, the moment the front door is locked after the last staff but them, that Ueda corners him about it.
"You seem to have something to say to me," he starts.
Ryo kisses him instead of an answer. Ueda didn't even manage to get out of his uniform as he always does before clean up. He looks upset and determined and hot, and Ryo would rather do this than talk about just about anything really. Ueda's always liked it more when they kissed. This is a sure way to shut him up. When Ryo started liking it just as much is a bit hard to tell.
When Ryo finds himself pressed into the wall right next to the front door, Ueda's hands around his wrists above his head, he figures avoiding this conversation might be a bit tricky. He still manages to slide a knee between Ueda's legs, lifting it up.
"You're not getting out of this," Ueda hisses. He's hard though, and if nothing else, Ryo knows whatever Ueda has in mind is put on hold.
Ueda's fingers might be tight around Ryo's wrists, but his mouth is almost too soft when he kisses Ryo again, when his lips slide down his jaw, and when he mouths down the vein pulsing down Ryo's neck. Ryo arches up to get Ueda closer, to feel more than Ueda's reverent mouth sliding over his own collarbones as far as his shirt allows. He tries not to think about how this too is just a way to get something, to get Ryo spill his thoughts that he's not willing to share.
It's just like the first time, a blow job for an extra shift at the bar outside. Like the second time, a quick fuck over the privileges to open rather than close for the day. A hard kiss and hands down each other's pants as a reward for a first barman show even if it was lame. Even if Ryo called Ueda ugly and a vampire wanna-be just a few weeks back, and tried for the nickname 'fish lips' to stick so hard. Ueda still got to him, like he didn't care about any of that, like it didn't matter, like maybe he knew right from the start how Ryo's stomach trembled with want whenever Ueda was in the room with him.
From the beginning, Ueda knew how to play him right, play him like a hand of cards or the most naive of his customers who always did what he wanted, ordered just one more drink and then another and another, as expensive as Ueda deemed them to be able to afford. He was just one of many to whom Ueda gave just what they wanted, and not one bit more, in return for taking everything and more. Even if it was Ryo who'd pushed him against that old shelf in the storage and fucked him, hard and uncaring for how many bottles broke, it was still Ueda who took, took it all, Ryo's sanity and desire and all the affection. Ryo has always felt like just one of many.
Even if Ueda now claims there was no one else, at least not in his bed, even if he is now gripping Ryo's wrists with one hand and his hip with the other, Ryo's cheek pressed against the wall where his back was minutes ago, even if he is kissing down Ryo's spine as he waits for him to actually take a breather, so full of Ueda's cock and wanting nothing more than for him to move, even if Ueda's fingers eventually press against those of Ryo's upper hand above his head, entwining them, even if this feels slower and somehow desperate, Ryo still doesn't believe Ueda is showing him anything more than he wants, than he thinks was enough for Ryo to see, lying like he always did, transforming into someone different for the moment in which they are stuck.
"Fuck, Ueda move," Ryo grits out, squeezing around Ueda's cock on purpose. His thighs are burning, and he's so close already, just from the way Ueda undressed him, handled him with such ease, showing just how well he knew Ryo's body, just from the way he fingered him and stretched him until Ryo was breathless and shaking for more.
"Not yet," Ueda mumbles, sucking a red mark against one of Ryo's ribs, the nails on Ryo's hips digging deeper and teeth sinking into red, sensitive skin.
"I won't beg," Ryo heaves, wondering how long he can stay upright like this. Ueda could probably hold him up, flatten him against the wall and just fuck him while Ryo felt like a ragged doll in his grip. But before that he tries to push back against it. "I'm not begging."
Ueda just finds another place on his side to bite and suck at before he finally straightens and flattens himself against Ryo's back. His cock throbs inside Ryo, and Ryo doesn't get how he's still so in control of himself.
"You just need to ask nicely. Use my given name. That's all," Ueda whispers right into Ryo's ear, and then he pulls at the earlobe.
Ryo squeezes his eyes shut, trying hard not to think of the way Ueda's fingers push into the marks he's just made while his other hand presses harder against Ryo's hands above them.
"Fuck, just, okay fuck, Tatsuya, fuck me," he grits out. Ueda's next exhale is almost relieved, and his lips slide down to Ryo's shoulder, nipping at the sweaty skin there. He finally pulls back and thrusts back in, fast and hard from the start. Ryo's breath hitches, and then he's pushing back while he can, his own cock bouncing with the strength of Ueda's hips slamming against his ass. It stings, and Ueda's leaning heavily on him.
The bottom one of Ryo's hands pinned above him falls away when the fingers of his other one get tangled with Ueda's even more, and Ryo reaches behind himself, nails digging into Ueda's ass. He's so close, the pleasure spiking up in his underbelly as well as up his back, his thighs burning more and more. It's then that Ueda's hand slips around his ribs and reaches for his cock, moving up and down just twice before Ueda's thumb presses into the slit. Ueda's next thrust is strong and deep, and Ryo comes, his entire body tensing up. His moan is high and too loud in the empty bar, and just when his legs are about to give in, Ueda really pushes him whole into the wall, his hips snapping into him fast, just three more times before he too comes with a groan and one last bite into Ryo's shoulder.
Three minutes later, when Ryo takes his first deep breath post orgasm, he realizes that Ueda's still inside him, feeling sticky and wet and like there's no condom, and he's kissing up Ryo's shoulder and along his hair line.
"Fuck, Ueda you better not have lied about not sticking your dick anywhere else," Ryo says.
Ueda growls into his hair and pulls out of Ryo only to turn him around sharply, pressing right into him, from thighs to chest, palms on either side of Ryo's head.
"When did I ever lie to you?" Ueda asks. He sounds deceptively calm, but just for a second Ryo thinks he can read hurt in his eyes.
Ryo feels Ueda's come sliding down his inner thigh and he shudders. It's dirty, but still he feels ...
"Whatever, it's not important anymore," he says. "You didn't even tell me you wanted to leave until you had it all ready." It still makes him so angry.
"What it is to you anyway? Why should I?" Ueda challenges. Ryo just wants to kiss him again, to shut him up, to make him stop asking questions he doesn't want answers to, to feel Ueda's tongue against his own, to taste him before Ryo fucks everything up.
Instead he drops his head, only that means leaning his forehead on Ueda's shoulder. He's so screwed up. Ueda's heart beats as frantically as his own.
"You're right. I don't know you at all."
Ueda's fingers card through Ryo's sweaty hair, and he just hums. "I've shown you more than to anyone else," he says at last. "You got to watch all the backstage failures and tricks. You just keep insisting on not seeing anything. So I figured if this whole bar thing fails, at least you don't get to notice this failure."
Ryo's fingers are clutching to Ueda's sides, but he doesn't know how to lift his head and look into Ueda's eyes. So he doesn't. Ueda holds him until Ryo's legs stop shaking, like always Ryo's brain supplies, even if no one is watching and there's nothing more of him to take. Only when Ryo's breath evens out completely and his heart slows enough so that maybe he could start thinking straight, Ueda pulls away. He picks up his own clothes and walks to the back. Ryo slides down the wall too afraid to follow or his heart might spill out of his chest, down to Ueda's feet, asking for things. Ryo doesn't know how he got so fucked up and so wrapped up in his own pretend game that he missed when Ueda stopped playing.
Ueda's last shift is a short one.
"I was expecting a big party with Ryo-chan singing his self-composed heart wrenching goodbye to you," Ohkura says from his barstool, watching Ueda polish the last of his glasses at this bar.
"Ryo-chan composes?" Ueda asks innocently, not even looking at Ryo who's waddling about listlessly. He's been wanting to touch Ueda, make him pay attention to him more, maybe make Ueda read in him like in an open book, like when they're alone, but where Ueda's gotten so good at touching Ryo, all the time, Ryo doesn't know how to do the same. Now he shoots an angry look at Ohkura.
"He's pretty good at it too," Ohkura just says to Ueda. "I always thought he'd be the first one to ditch me, finally selling one of his songs big and turning it into a hit."
Ryo's always wanted to compose music, but it never really paid bills, and so one day he said yes to Ohkura's offer.
"Work for me, and you can still compose during the day and on your days off. One day you'll make it big and won't need to work behind the bar anymore. And I'll get the bragging rights for employing a famous song maker." Ryo had no skills but pouring his own sake, but Ohkura paid him well and let him learn enough to be able to basically run one of his first bars by himself. Only Ryo's stopped sending his songs to studios and entertainment companies long ago. He's gotten so rotten.
Ryo looks up to see Ueda watching him.
"Pipe dreams," he mutters.
"Secrets you never showed me," Ueda says. He doesn't sound mad, not like Ryo was yesterday.
There's no party. Ueda slips away with a jaunty wave when Ryo's pouring a drink to a couple of business men. Ohkura sighs from the part of the bar now taken up by Nakamaru then slides closer to Ryo.
"I'm feeling sorry for myself, but then I think about how much harder your love life has just gotten, and I feel better."
Ryo almost chokes on his own tongue.
"What?"
"I'm sorry I made it difficult for you two to date. Ueda running his own bar is going to significantly cut down your time together. I'm thinking it'll be hard to have sex on every surface of my bar when he's not here, too."
Ryo has to go and have a drink of ... vodka. Water is just not going to cut it.
"What?"
"Well, I mean I had no choice." Ohkura throws his hands in the air. "I had to make Ueda promise me he wouldn't take you with him. I might have begged. But I just couldn't lose both of you at the same time."
Ryo stares, at Ohkura and at where the entrance to the bar is, where Ueda has disappeared.
Ryo knew that Ueda didn't plan to spend the rest of his life bartending for Ohkura. He remembers Ueda saying so more than once. It's just one of the things Ryo has stored under the shelf labeled 'Ueda' in his brain, together with Ueda's crooked pinky, plush lips, piano playing, stupid laughter, strong arms, same taste for music, and sometimes dreamy eyes, when no one--but Ryo--was looking. It's the shelf that Ryo always thought too empty, understocked, only to realize he has no stock management skills whatsoever because his Ueda shelf is overflowing, mixing with the stuff on the shelf called 'pesky emotions that Ryo doesn't know how to handle.' Which is why Ryo just didn't ... handle it. He just let it all lay there, keeping still just like himself until it caused an absolute havoc during the inventory forced upon himself by the reality of no Ueda from tomorrow on.
On the top shelf of Ryo's locker, where Ryo stores his baseball caps, Ryo finds a note written in Ueda's messy writing. It's an address, of what Ueda claims is his bar. Different than all the others Ryo heard around the bar from the staff here.
Come see it sometimes. For free booze.
The bar is in Asakusa. The entrance is traditional; wooden door and a white sheet with the sign for ‘yellow’ on it in dark blue. It shimmers in the light breeze and the old looking lampion hanging of the door. It took Ryo three days to get here, along with Uchi's wonderful remark of "no one sleeps exclusively with another guy for over three years just because they're conveniently around all the time. Least of all with you, Ryo-chan. I hate to break this to you, but there are definitely more attractive men around who also do not suffer from crippling fear of showing emotions outside their song lyrics."
So Ryo takes a day off. He hasn't done that in ages, and he spends it wandering around his small apartment, cooking enough spaghetti for at least three people and strumming his guitar.
It's past ten in the evening when Ryo opens the door to Ueda's bar. He's hit with the wave of nostalgia, taking in the light wood of the bar on the side, three sides of it framing the back wall. There's sake, a wide selection of it, but there's also whisky and bourbon and cognac and vodka and gin and all the other alcohol a respectable bar needs to have. The selection might not be the biggest, but it's tasteful. More rather than less of what Ryo would choose. The beer tap and the sink is just where Ryo always wanted to have it in Ohkura's bar. The glasses look simple, and old fashioned, just like the music streaming from ... a gramophone. There's a huge stack of vinyls right next to it. A simple light bulb hangs above it all, giving almost the most light in the entire bar.
Other than the bar stools, there are only a few small tables spread around the place. In the corner, Ryo notices a small platform, barely big enough for a table, but that's not what it seems to be for. There's only a chair and a guitar set in a corner. Ryo's fingers itch.
"If you'd like to, go ahead and play something. First drink is on the house for those who play a song," someone says then, and Ryo turns to realize they're talking to him.
The person behind the bar wears a simple white shirt, but somehow feels flashy in this place. Not Junno flashy, but still. Something's off, and Ryo doesn't think it's the clumsy way he handles a tap and pours sake to two elder guests sitting at the bar.
He's about to say that maybe later, when he notices a big sliding door on the other side of the bar.
"You have an outside space?" he wonders out loud, and the bartender nods.
"It's not much though."
It's a deck, where one can sit on a cushion with legs hanging off it, looking out at a tiny garden, with water running down an arm of a bamboo rocking fountain. Ryo imagines how much bigger the entire place would look like in summer with the sliding door open completely. The bamboo of the fountain clucks, and the arm moves up. Ryo has to laugh. He feels this place shows off just like Ueda does. It starts to rain, but Ryo's safely hidden under deck's roof. Okay, so maybe it is a really cool idea.
"Did you just laugh at my wonderful water installation?" Ryo hears then, a voice from behind, and he knows who this is. "Maybe I should reconsider my offer of free booze. Only treat you like any other customer. A drink for a song."
"I could run you out of business," Ryo muses. "Would you come back then? Junno and Nakamaru are like the worst manzai duo this side of Japan, when together."
Ueda laughs, sliding down to sit close enough to Ryo for their thighs to press together. "I'd offer you a job here, but I already have the second bartender."
Ryo swallows the question. What happened to the promise to Ohkura? To Ueda's supposed rule of no cranky bartenders?
"He's so flashy, though," he says, instead.
"Yeah, a pornstar fresh in retirement." Ueda nods. "I'm teaching him everything from the scratch. I hear it's the best."
"Why would you make that up, of all things?" Ryo grumbles. Ueda's eyes are twinkling in the feeble light of lampions swinging in the wind. "Pornstar my ass."
"You have none of that, but I fucked people like that too. And got fucked by them too. I was very universal," the bartender in question says from the door. He's slowly putting a tray with a bottle of sake and two small glasses down. "I'm Kamenashi, but I used to go under Turtle at my previous job. If you ever wanted to check me out," he says then winks and slinks back inside.
Ryo chokes on nothing, and Ueda laughs, loud and boisterous, throwing his head back. He has to lean back on his palms to not fall backwards, and Ryo watches, a bit fascinated with the way Ueda's body is arched like this, muscles on his neck stretched back. It's inviting, and Ryo catches himself wondering if the hollow of Ueda's neck still tastes the same or what would happen if he leaned over and lapped his tongue over the pulse point on Ueda's neck right now. He doesn't register that Ueda's stopped laughing and is watching him until Ueda moves, sitting back up and facing Ryo instead of the garden.
"Do you like my bar, Ryo-chan?" he asks, voice so low it makes the hair on the back of Ryo's neck stand.
"I ... what is this place even trying to be?" Ryo asks back, a bit annoyed. It's so quiet out here, only water running and raindrops falling over the green leaves in the middle of Tokyo.
Ueda chuckles, but doesn't stop looking right through Ryo. "You're always like that, needing an exact shape, a definition. Does it really matter? It's many things, one at a time or all at the same time. None of them is less real or true than the other."
Ryo thinks that should create a chaos, a mishmash of things that one cannot relate to. Still, he … feels good here, despite the tension in his body and the slow simmer of heat in his stomach because Ueda's too close, looking too deep inside him.
"I don't know, not anymore," he sighs.
"It's a simple question, really." Ueda doesn't plan to let him off.
"I ... I do. I like this," Ryo says at last. He thinks he means it, remembering the nostalgia, the tingle in the pads of his fingers at the sight of the guitar, and the pleased thrill at the selection of drinks, the surprise of coming outside to this. "I really do."
Ueda relaxes next to him. "Good, I used tons of your suggestions too," he says, and before Ryo can protest that he didn't even know this place was being created, Ueda's moving, swinging his leg over Ryo's thighs, and straddling him.
"Now, how about me? Do you like me?"
Ueda's warm and a bit imposing above Ryo. And it hasn't been that long since they last touched, but Ryo feels the longing and the relief coming with the closeness. His hands are already settled where Ueda's thighs end and his hips begin, thumbs running in circles.
"You're hot," Ryo settles on. That already feels monumental said out loud.
"Well of course I am. You're too, even when you're all aloof and trying to pretend nothing can really get to you. I also find it cute how you are so confused when you realize you actually aren't made of stone but instead you feel all these things. It's endearing really." Ueda runs his finger over Ryo's eyebrows that are furrowed because Ryo is not cute or endearing and ... his hands squeeze around Ueda's hips, because Ryo's stomach is rolling, but not unpleasantly. It's more like maybe he enjoys this, Ueda touching him and being so easily familiar with him. "You're totally a fuzzy ball of feelings on the inside," Ueda speaks again. "So do you--"
Ryo does what usually works the best, he straightens up, one hand shooting to Ueda's floppy hair, and kisses him. He bumps the ridge of his nose into Ueda's thick rimmed glasses, but Ueda takes it in stride, sucking on Ryo's tongue when he tries to pull back and taking the glasses off easily.
There are people just on the other side of the wall, Ryo tries to remind himself, but this feels so good, so soothing, more relief and want flooding him as he tastes Ueda's mouth, so warm and familiar. He doesn't think much before he slides his mouth down Ueda's jaw and sucks over his bobbing Adam's apple when Ueda arches on his lap. When Ryo kisses lower, trying to get at Ueda's collarbones, Ueda laughs, both hands settling over Ryo's shoulders.
"You're always so distracting," he mutters. "I don't know what I like about you, really."
Ryo's breath hitches, but he only comes up to kiss Ueda back, eyes decidedly closed to not see more than he can handle.
"You," he starts, as he nips and sucks at Ueda's wonderful lower lips. As always he's mostly gone already, too wrapped up in Ueda for anything else to matter. He's always hated it, or so he thought. He'd always told Ueda he did so. "You're so overwhelming," he says now.
He feels Ueda tremble above him, and then Ueda's rolling his hips down, with clear intent.
"I live above this place now, and I was thinking we could actually make it to my bed for once," he says, his hand suddenly sliding down Ryo's front and undoing the buttons so easily on the way. "But yeah, whatever, the deck needs breaking in anyway."
Ueda's hand fists Ryo's open shirt as he rolls his hips again and again, and Ryo's cock is already hard and so painful in his jeans he probably just needs a bit more, the pressure constant and almost painful. But just as he tries to pull Ueda more down and against him, Ueda stops, both hands pressing on Ryo's chest until Ryo's lying down.
"Tatsuya," he says, and it comes out whiny. Ueda's eyes are shining tough, as if he was happy, and his hips give a little jerk. He starts undoing his own shirt.
"People," Ryo murmurs, but Ueda doesn't even look in the direction of the door.
"We're closing soon, plus Kazuya won't let anyone back here," Ueda says. Where he was so sure undoing the buttons on Ryo's shirt, his hands are unsteady on his own. Ryo reaches over, helping.
It's already different, slower and shaky like they haven't done this uncountable times. It's somehow new when Ryo runs his palms over Ueda's sides, causing a sharp intake of breath, when his fingers play with Ueda's ribs like he plays with his guitars. His cock is throbbing, and Ueda's elbows feel seconds from giving in the moment he props his palms on either side of Ryo to lean over him. It's so fucking slow. Still Ryo leans up, kisses around one of Ueda's nipples and sucks on the other, thumbs writing circles above Ueda's waistband until Ueda hisses and whines.
"Please," he says, and Ryo didn't calculate this in. Ueda isn't pleading because that's what Ryo wants to hear. It's so much better. Ueda's thighs squeeze on either side of Ryo's, and Ryo finally drags the zipper of Ueda's pants down, feeling the pleasure zing through his own body, spurred on by excitement.
Ueda breaths out, deep and loud exhale, and then he's chuckling at himself, at them both as they try to wriggle out of their pants and underwear, all caution thrown to the wind. It's Ryo whose breath gets stuck inside him along with words, which is good because he keeps thinking how nice Ueda is like this, foolish and soft and trembling above Ryo. It's all so much to weed through and figure out that Ryo notices too late that Ueda is digging through his own pockets, pulling out lube and coating his own fingers in it. He must look incredulous though because Ueda only leans down, nuzzling his nose against Ryo's cheek, and sighs.
"I was totally hoping you'd stop by soon. Wanted to be prepared for all the options."
Ryo, it seems, is not prepared for any of them because his stomach lurches when Ueda reaches behind himself, his head dropping to Ryo's chest, forehead pressed somewhere above where Ryo's heart is trying to beat out of it, and starts to stretch himself.
"Fuck," he mutters, and Ueda's tongue peaks out and licks at the skin in reach. Ryo only holds Ueda's sides, and takes it all in, Ueda's cock brushing his stomach, Ueda's breath sticky on Ryo's chest, Ueda's hand shaking next to Ryo's neck, muscles flexing and relaxing. He threads fingers of one of his hands through Ueda's hair before he realizes he's doing it, scratching Ueda's scalp until Ueda lifts his head up, breathing out Ryo's name and reaching up for a kiss.
They stay like that for a moment, kissing and nipping at each other, and Ryo watches now, the way Ueda's nose scrunches up and his eyelashes flutter while he moves against his own fingers. Ueda's cock is leaving a wet trail on Ryo's stomach, and it's all so erotic. Ryo just wants to touch Ueda everywhere, but he's afraid of Ueda collapsing if he lets go of his middle.
"Switch with me," he says, making a decision, and Ueda goes easily, flopping on his back next to Ryo. He scoots back when Ryo moves over him, pushing at his thighs. He's heaving breaths, stomach flexing, chest blotchy and even muscles in his thighs twitching. Ryo soothes his palm over the pale skin there and kisses right over Ueda's hipbone and then lower, mouthing over Ueda's happy trail. His tongue licks the wet head of Ueda's cock, and it's so easy to just take all of it into his mouth, lips tight as he slides down.
Ueda trashes and arches underneath him, fingers grabbing at Ryo's hair and shoulder, but all Ryo concentrates on is the throbbing vein that his tongue slides over and the way Ueda's thighs feel seizing up under Ryo's palms.
"Ryo, stop, no I'm gonna..." Ueda's voice is hoarse and weak, and Ryo hollows his checks and suck as he pulls back then lets his teeth scrape a bit over the too hot skin when he goes back down, as far as he can manage. Ueda's nails scratch his shoulder, and he comes with a loud moan and more profanities on his tongue. His thighs finally relax, and Ryo laps around the head of his cock, licks into the slit until he's pulled back up Ueda's body and into his mouth.
"Not what I had in mind," Ueda mutters, before kissing Ryo hard, wrapping his legs around him and pressing them close.
"Yeah?" Ryo mumbles weakly, fingers wrapped around Ueda's biceps and feeling the ache in his cock now, the strain in his entire body.
"Wanted to feel you come inside me," Ueda says, with no scruple, and Ryo's cock twitches against Ueda's firm belly.
They never took this much time, Ryo's never found so many of Ueda's buttons to push, never was Ueda so utterly his. Ryo doesn't want to pull away. "Make me come again?" Ueda asks, just when Ryo's sucking a bruise behind his ear. And yeah, Ryo wants to.
He starts where Ueda probably left of, three fingers massaging Ueda's rim and slipping inside him easily. He spreads them apart, feels Ueda's rim flutter, but he doesn't look down to watch. He folds one of Ueda's legs against his chest, the shin of it over Ryo's shoulder, and presses close to him, letting Ueda lick and nip at him until Ryo finds his prostate and pushes pads of his fingers into it. Ueda can't kiss after that, head thrown back, hips frantic in the futile effort to meet Ryo's fingers, voice growing high pitched. Ryo feels Ueda's cock hardening again where he has it trapped against his thigh and sucks a mark or three into Ueda's chest while he enjoys the way Ueda's whole being is wanting more of Ryo's touch, of Ryo.
When Ryo finally pulls his fingers away and pushes inside Ueda, they're both so close again. Ueda clamps around Ryo's cock and Ryo rolls his hips, easily finding the way to push inside Ueda so that his cock always brushes Ueda's prostate. They don't even move too fast, but Ryo's thrusts are deep and strong, and Ueda's clutching to him and repeating his name and encouraging, "yes so good, just like that."
Ryo lamely thinks it probably means something if this still feels more than good, after so many times, and if he enjoys it, a bit too much, knowing Ueda's body and his tells, taking all the best of him. Ueda's other leg locks around Ryo's thigh, and Ryo's been on the edge for so long that it's all it takes for him to come, his hips spasming, his vision blurry, and his head fuzzy.
Ueda groans, and Ryo has barely enough presence to reach between them to pull Ueda off. He doesn't even have to work for it much, just one drag of his palm up Ueda's cock is enough for him to come too.
They're sticky, and Ueda's kissing him again the moment Ryo eases his leg down from between them. Ryo can't do more than keep up, enjoying the thickness of Ueda's tongue against his own and behind his teeth. It's cold here now, but if Ueda can take it, with his back and ass pressed into the wood of the deck, so can Ryo.
"Uhm, now I get it why you had no problem hiring a former porn star. I should have recognized a fellow enthusiast," Ryo hears suddenly, and when he turns his head towards the door, Kamenashi is standing there with a huge grin on his face.
"Ah. I only really get enthusiastic about Ryo-chan here," Ueda says. "And his flat butt." He might have sounded nonchalant if he wasn't hoarse and still breathing too fast.
Ryo can't even find the energy to appear offended, too stuck on 'only'.
Kame shrugs. "We're closed, so it wasn't even that scandalous really, but I can't figure out how to close the cash register. I really wish you'd just show me the manual, but ..."
"Give me a minute," Ueda says, and he tries to pinch Ryo's side to make him move. Ryo has his forehead pressed against Ueda's chest, his face and ears red, and he refuses to budge because then Kamenashi would see much more. He'd probably be shameless enough to ogle Ueda, and that is not happening.
"Careful there," Kame just laughs, and then he's gone.
Ueda's laughing again too, and Ryo finds himself doing the same. Ueda ends up running his palm down Ryo's cheek and neck, squeezing the back of it and kissing the crown of Ryo's head like it's something normal, something they do all the time too.
"Let me up," he murmurs, and Ryo pulls out. He hears Ueda whine, low under his breath, and he wants to pull him back close and kiss him, and maybe dip his own fingers into him again and see if Ueda can come the third time, just for Ryo, while they lie out here and kiss and touch. Fuck, Ryo's so over his head. Ueda's already on his feet, pulling his clothes on, forgoing the underwear and using it to clean himself a little.
"Don't panic while out here all by yourself," he says and disappears inside.
Ryo follows his example to the dot then watches the water fountain tip once, twice, with the same hollow cluck. His head is still fuzzy, and his lips sting from too much kissing, and maybe from the drag of a Ueda's cock against them. He feels so fucking content.
Back inside, there's no sign of Kamenashi, and Ueda's behind the register, his tongue peeking out as he pushes random buttons. Ryo thinks he hasn't read the manual to his new cash register either. Typical. Then Ueda starts humming, something nonsensical, and Ryo starts imagining how it would sound if he made a song out of it. Or if he came closer and felt the rumble of Ueda's chest with his hand. He settles for pressing his chest against Ueda's back and perching his chin on Ueda's shoulder, watching him struggle and calling him an idiot. In the end he figures out what Ueda should do and shows him. Ueda sighs.
"I drown at least one phone in my tub once a month, you know. This is why I should have totally stolen you from Ohkura."
"So I could close for you every day?" Ryo asks, his stomach still feeling all floppy at the thought that Ueda really wanted to do that.
"Well, the sex anywhere, anytime isn't that bad either, but we're getting older, so honestly I don't mind if we move part of it to a proper bed and actually go on scheduled dates either."
They're just standing behind the bar now, Ueda's fingers playing with Ryo's on Ueda's stomach, between the haphazardly buttoned up buttons of Ueda's shirt.
"Dates?" Ryo still almost chokes on the word.
"But I have rules. Like don't ever take me to a 250-yen restaurant ever again; that was really not classy. And ramen restaurant is allowed only once every two weeks. And I get to taste how your home cooked food tastes, since you claim you can actually cook."
"Dates," Ryo deadpans.
"Well, you like me, so ..."
Ueda's hand falters a little over Ryo's, and his stomach trembles.
"I ... I do. Like you," Ryo manages to say. Only to prove Uchi was wrong and he could totally do that. He did that. He burrows his nose into Ueda's neck. He's probably liked Ueda for long enough now that maybe he could try and actually say it again. Sometimes. If it's not too soon.
"See. Last rule is to call me by my given name," Ueda says after a moment, and his fingers are squeezing Ryo's own really tight now. Ryo huffs. "Okay, but you could at least try? Maybe, when we fuck again?"
Ryo remembers the way Ueda looked at him when he said his name tonight, still remembers Ueda trembling like a leaf moments after. Like it really mattered.
"I'll do my best," he mumbles. He doesn't mean just the name, and Ueda probably knows because he relaxes. Ryo sucks a mark into the nape of his neck.
"Can I offer you a shower, a bed and fresh underwear for now?" Ueda wonders, when Ryo doesn't stop but keeps kissing down Ueda's shoulder.
"Will you be in all three of those?" Ryo asks. Ueda's next laugh is loud and really not attractive, and it bounces of all the walls.
"You're so greedy tonight, Ryo-chan."
Ueda has no idea. Ryo has so many plans right now. Like playing on that tiny stage across the bar the next morning. And then letting Ueda ride him in that chair. Like cutting down his shifts at the bar to start composing again. Because Ueda finally getting out and managing all this just makes him want to try hard again, for himself. Like spending summer nights on Ueda's deck being his worst distraction ever. Like stocking Ueda's everything on the shelf in his mind labeled with his name, and possibly expanding the storage into Ryo's heart.
"Tatsuya," he says. Ueda only sighs and steps away from Ryo.
"This way."
end
A/N SO this was a return to je fic after over a year and it was not easy, really all my love to my beta. But in the end, yet again, I'm glad I took the chance, the prompt was just so me I couldn't pass it up. <3
Sorry for spamming, and I'm not trying to be dramatic but it may have really been the last time.
♥