One-shot: Gentlemen's Death in Silk and Lace (part 1)
Title: Gentlemen's Death in Silk and Lace
Pairing/Group: Ryo/Ueda; Kanjani8/KAT-TUN
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: lots of frilly cross-dressing
Notes: Title inspired by a line from Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat. Collaboration with ryogrande, written for je_devilorangel, originally posted here.
Summary: When Johnny gets the idea to turn Dream Boys into Dream Girls, wearing a corset is the least of Ueda's problems.
Part 1 Part2
Four Leaves; Odoriko: Watashi ha odoriko yo furumai no osake ni mo kigaruku you you na ukigusa no odoriko - I am a dancer, a frivolous dancer that gets drunk easily when treated
"Dream Girls," Johnny says, and Ueda blinks.
Next to him, Yoko's eyes light up, making him look a little crazy. Ueda has always thought that one was borderline insane, even back when they were kids. "That's perfect, sir!" Yoko declares.
"With all due respect," Ueda begins, "why am I here?"
"Because I picked your name out of the hat," Johnny answers simply, then turns back to Yoko with a creepy grin. "You think so? You'll look pretty in big frilly skirts. And I can advertise it as the kabuki renaissance with a twist. We need to be innovative in the face of today's challenges."
He sighs as he leafs through a magazine of pouty AKB models, and Ueda lifts an eyebrow suspiciously. "Are you feeling threatened by the recent infestation of female robots, sir?"
"It's okay, Ueda-kun," Yoko says with a grin. "You're still cuter than all of them."
Ueda's glare must look more effective with his short hair, because Yoko's grin falls and he turns his attention back to Johnny, who conveniently ignores Ueda's question. "Your schedules are all cleared for the next three months while you put this together," Johnny goes on. "I'll promote NEWS in your absence."
"While we put this together?" Ueda repeats, starting to feel sick.
"Yes. This will be self-produced between your two groups. You'll perform it for me before we go live. Make it good."
Yoko claps happily while Ueda just stares at his boss. He wonders what he could have possibly done in his lifetime to deserve spending three entire months with the rest of KAT-TUN and all of Kanjani8. At least Dream Boys had been plotted out for them beforehand. They'll be building this one from scratch.
He already sees Koki and Yasu arguing over costumes while Hina and Taguchi play pranks on everyone and Nakamaru sighs a lot. Subaru would be a decent script writer, at least if the story was going to have a morbid theme. And Kame's good at giving direction.
Then Ueda's blood runs cold as he remembers who else is in Eito. He has to remind himself he's now almost twenty nine and pretty clear about who he is. And that Nishikido hasn't grown an inch since the last time they worked together. He relaxes a little. Johnny seems to take this as Ueda's, and possibly KAT-TUN's, approval of the whole deal.
"But you'll have to wear a wig," he says, and Ueda swears he could hear Johnny pouting.
Ueda makes a face, and Yoko hurries in to make it worse. "In three months, his hair will grow back, sir."
Ueda decides to go and cut it as short as possible the next day. It's less hot under the wig that way, and he will need every little thing to keep his integrity throughout this. Especially since Johnny and Yoko are already planning his costume, details of his corset included.
*
Yoko brings a boa to the big announcement that Johnny so kindly left to him and Ueda. For a moment, the room goes completely silent, then Kame comes forward and hugs Yoko excitedly.
"It's finally happening," he says and tries to hug Ueda too. Ueda gives him one look, and Kame opts for hugging Yoko again instead. "I can finally play with the make-up as much as I want."
"And you allowed this?" Suddenly Ryo is in Ueda's face, first to recover from the shock.
"Hey, it's not like I had a chance there," Ueda says defensively, as suddenly everyone but Yoko and Kame is staring at him in accusation.
Ryo actually deflates. "Right," he mumbles dejectedly, and quickly steps back like he just realized he was all up in Ueda's personal space.
"I'm doing the costumes," Yasu says, taken aback himself, and pulls at Koki. "You help me out, okay? If we're doing this, we're doing it in style."
And with that, the rest of Kanjani8 finally wakes up. All of a sudden, there's too much talking, and shouting, and moving around, and Hina hits all of them over head preventively.
In the frenzy of it all, Ueda steps back and lets them process the information. After all, his reaction was not much different, only he knows how to keep it all inside. Apparently, that's not how these men roll, and he dreads the next three months even more. He doesn't even stop to think about it when he finds Ryo sitting in the corner next to him, rocking in his chair and looking at the havoc in the room with terror in his eyes. Coping mechanisms, there are so many of them.
Oddly, it feels nice to not be the only one who isn't pleased with this development. Ueda watches both of their groups excitedly divide up tasks and make plans without a leader, as he knows they're both used to in their respective business. Seeing them all so happy makes Ueda feel a bit guilty about his initial reaction, and he tries to find the bright side to all of this. Eito is a fun group? There had been a lot of hijinks and gatherings that had left Ueda laughing so hard that his sides hurt the last time they all worked together.
"Ueda-kun, Nishikido-kun," someone is saying, and Ueda notices that Ryo snaps out of his daydreams as well to find Hina standing before them, looking disapproving while using a nasally teacher voice. "Since you were not involved in our brainstorming session just now, you've both been elected as music coordinators. The entire score is up to you. Do your best."
Ueda feels like the ground has been pulled out from under him and he's soaring through the sky at the same time. The prospect of collaborating with Ryo leaves much to be desired, but to be (mostly) responsible for all of the music in the production? He doubts even Ryo can ruin his love for arranging songs and vocals, and when he stops to look at it objectively, Ryo's just as talented at it as he is.
"I'll do my best," Ueda says first, followed by Ryo's mumble that sounds almost surprised.
Now interested, Ueda listens to the others talk and laugh as Kame draws up a schedule on his whiteboard. He and Yoko are writing the script, Koki and Yasu are doing costumes, Ryo and Ueda are in charge of the musical numbers, Taguchi and Ohkura are putting together choreography, Nakamaru and Maruyama are in charge of the set and props, and Subaru and Hina will just help out wherever needed. Or more likely, in Ueda's opinion, bother everyone while they work.
"The story should be something people can relate to," Kame thinks out loud, and Yoko nods. "A small-town girl trying to enter the cabaret world, maybe."
"And you'll be the small-town girl?" Ohkura asks with a smirk.
Kame offers him a sarcastic smile. "No. I was thinking Ueda would be a good choice."
Suddenly everyone in the room is staring at Ueda. "Uhm," Ueda says.
"I agree," volunteers Maruyama. "He has that 'regular guy' feel to him, doesn't he?"
The others nod, and Ueda catches Nakamaru grinning. Bastard is probably happy he's not the ordinary one anymore, though Ueda tells himself it's only because he's a better dancer than Nakamaru.
"Don't look at me like that, Tatsuya," Kame says sternly. "It's a lead role. Do you want it or not?"
For some reason he looks to the side to find Ryo's expression challenging, like he thinks Ueda won't do it. "Of course," Ueda decides, meeting Ryo's eyes.
"Kame should be the big sister who eases Ueda into the industry," Subaru suggests.
"Oh, I like that," says Kame, making notes on his phone. "There should be two of us. What do you say, Subaru?"
"Subaru looks like an old woman in drag," Hina interjects. "He should be the madam of the establishment."
Subaru flicks Hina in the ear and Hina smacks him in the head. Then Subaru smiles and shrugs. "I suppose you're right."
"Have Yoko do it," Ryo suggests, and Ueda hears a hint of malice in his voice.
Yoko eyes Kame. "Only if my boobs are bigger than his."
"Whatever," Kame says, and they fist pound.
A few other roles are decided, along with a basic plotline that surprisingly doesn't involve anyone dying. Ueda wonders if anyone will come see this play at all, then he remembers that they are twelve Johnny's idols dressing as women. As long as they're singing and dancing, people will throw money at them.
While Ueda imagines the juniors sweeping the money off stage during intermission, his character earns a love interest.
"Hina's the perfect height too. He can be a bouncer in the club, or something, always protecting Ueda," Yoko explains, and Kame scribbles the character profiles down furiously.
"I'm so looking forward to that kiss scene," Ryo snickers.
Ueda wishes for Ryo's guitar string to snap next time he plays and hopes he gets to witness it. Then Taguchi, of all people, suggests Ryo plays Ueda's rival girl in the club, and Ueda considers buying eleven voodoo dolls.
*
Three days later, Yoko texts them all about having writer's block. This is a problem because the rest of the production is dependent on the plot. In the meantime, Taguchi cries for inspiration beyond Ohkura's undulating hips for the choreography.
"Let's go to a strip club!" Subaru suggests in their next meeting, and Ueda only manages to keep his mouth from gaping because Ryo is sitting next to him. He doesn't want to be called 'fish-lips' right now.
Nakamaru tries to be a voice of reason. "The show is about a cabaret, not a strip club. And we can't all go. It will draw too much attention."
"I googled it," Subaru says firmly. "This one club has a cabaret-inspired show. Yoko needs our help. We all need to support each other. You can wear your wig and girl's clothes if you want to. It will be like a first practice."
Nakamaru pales and stays quiet.
"Subaru must have practiced that speech in front of mirror," Ryo grits out through his teeth. Hina hears it and laughs.
"Never underestimate the power of a perverted mind," he says, then smacks the table. "Let's do it! It will be a good bonding experience too, drinking together."
Ueda doesn't think it's necessary to look at naked women while bonding, but he bites his lip and starts to ponder if he has sunglasses big enough to hide all of his face that night.
When the meeting is over, Ueda bolts for the door as fast as possible. He almost trips on Ryo already standing in it though.
"Your number," Ryo mumbles.
"I thought Koki and Yasu were in charge of the costumes," Ueda says, a bit confused, thinking about how Yasu had taken all his measurements that day and wondered what cup Ueda's bra should be. Those were a lot of numbers.
"Your phone, you idiot," Ryo says more harshly, ears turning bright red.
"What? Why?" Ueda doesn't give it to just anyone, and he bets Ryo drunk dials people on his contact list.
"We need to start on the music soon. Unless you just want to leave it all up to me," Ryo answers, collecting himself and standing tall, almost as tall as Ueda.
"No way," Ueda shouts, and pulls out his phone. Like hell he's giving up the best part of this entire disaster.
Ryo actually smirks this time as he punches Ueda's number into his phone. "Thought so," he says, and spins to leave. Ueda is right on his heels, and they end up having a silent competition on who can walk faster to the parking lot. Ueda apparently still has longer legs though. He shoots Ryo a victorious grin as he opens his car doors, momentarily forgetting all about the wigs and strip clubs in his future.
Then Kame sends him pictures of wig choices for their outing, and Ueda cringes before selecting the all-black one. He's always preferred the natural look.
*
"This is fucking ridiculous," someone other than Ueda says, and he finds himself nodding and agreeing before recognizing the voice.
"You have no room to talk," he says, narrowing his eyes at Ryo's complete lack of costume. "You lucked out and picked one of the boy straws."
Kame had decided that it really was too risky for all twelve of them to go to a cabaret strip club together, even dressed like girls, so he suggested they split it up. Yasu happened to have left-over party straws with penises and boobs on them (Ueda did not want to know what kind of party this was), and they all picked one. Except Ueda, who was told he was going as a girl regardless. Perks of being the star.
"It's weird seeing you with girl hair again," Ohkura tells him, fluffing his own curly wig as his heels click next to Ueda. "I've gotten used to it short."
"Is it really necessary for you to wear those?" Ryo asks from Ohkura's other side. "You're already like gargantuan tall."
"Oh, Ryo-chan," Ohkura teases, grabbing Ryo's head and shoving his face in his bosom. "Perfect height, am I right?"
"Freak," Ryo mutters, but he doesn't bother to push Ohkura away.
Yoko's waiting for them at the entrance with Hina draped over his arm, and Ueda's first thought is that it's a damn shame Hina is the only one not dressing up for their show. He'd picked the girl straw and went all out, looking even skankier than Tegoshi with a mini-skirt and ponytail. He's even getting leers from other patrons who don't know any better, leading Yoko to tighten his arm around Hina's bare waist.
Ohkura notices Ueda's eyes and laughs, clapping him on the back before traipsing up to the other two Eito members, spinning his sparkly purse in his hand. "Hey, you hot bitch!"
"Hey yourself," Hina replies, waving to Ueda too, and Ueda's vision is a little ruined at the manly speaking voice. "Kame, Baru, and Maru - mine, not yours - are already inside, and Baru's already drunk."
"Junno's on his way," Ohkura says, flicking his long, fake nails. "Got held up by his woman. She's probably doing his make-up."
Ueda watches them strut their stuff as females and feels horribly confused. Hina especially is very convincing; Ueda can't keep his eyes off of him.
"Can you stare any harder," Ryo asks flatly, demanding Ueda's attention.
"Can you be any more jealous?" Ueda teases. "The man has nice legs, what can I say."
Ryo hrmphs and stomps into the club, leaving Ueda on his own. He pulls his sweater around his shoulders not because it's cold, but because of the stares he's getting from sleazy-looking men. He'd intended to wait for Nakamaru and Yasu, but each second spent outside the seedy building leaves him more and more creeped out.
After ten minutes, Ueda receives a mail from Nakamaru that says Massu is taking forever to do his hair and Yasu is 'helping'. Sighing, Ueda turns to the door and starts to head inside, but there are some men standing in the way, and instantly Ueda knows they're bad news.
"Who needs the club with cute, homely girls like this?" one of them says, and Ueda gives him an unimpressed look.
"I can punch your balls up into your throat," he tells them, using a higher voice as to not completely give himself away, and the men just laugh. "Please get out of my way."
"I don't think so, sweetheart-" another one jumps in, stepping closer to Ueda, but he's cut off by someone grabbing the back of his shirt.
"Cover's pretty high tonight," that voice growls at them. "Would be a shame for you all to get kicked out for harassment."
Ueda's eyes narrows even more as Ryo manages to glare them all down from below. "That wasn't necessary," Ueda tells him as the men shuffle away.
"You're welcome," Ryo says calmly, then turns to walk towards the table where the others are drinking and having fun.
Ueda follows him, fists still clenched from the confrontation, though he's no longer sure who he wants to hit.
*
A few hours later, there are more wigs lying around under the table they were occupying than on their heads, and Ueda's worried. Most of the guys are nowhere to be seen either.
"That's normal. It'll be fine. No one cares," Ryo says, and his voice is slurred and muffled in Ueda's stomach. Ueda still has no idea how Ryo's head got there, but it doesn't feel that bad, so he only stretches and watches the podium.
The girl that's up is doing some acrobatics on the pole, and the music, in Ueda's opinion, is far from a cabaret song. Then he realizes most of what he'll have to compose for the show will be cabaret, and he breaks into cold sweat.
"I can do that so much better," Ryo giggles in his lap, head now turned to the stage.
"Right," Ueda snorts.
"I can," Ryo says stubbornly and actually moves to sit up. Ueda frowns at the sudden movement.
"Then show me," he challenges, grabbing a random wig and pushing it towards Ryo. He doesn't really believe the other would.
Ryo pushes the wig away. "It would fall off anyway," he mutters. Ueda thinks he's not going to do anything. "What do I get in return?" Ryo then asks.
Before Ueda can collect enough brain cells to reply and refuse the challenge, Ryo's up on his feet. "You'll dance for me too," he concludes, and he's already crawling up on stage.
Suddenly, the table around Ueda's much more crowded, most of Kanjani8 coming back and cat calling as Ryo grabs the first empty pole. He sways his hips, and it's clumsy at the best. Ueda would laugh, but Ryo's looking straight at him, and yeah, this he still knows how to do, hooded eyes, lips parted, and fuck.
Then Ryo grabs the pole, legs flying over his head, and he's spinning down it like a pro. There's loud cheering, and Junno pulls cash from out of his fake bra, throws it on stage. Ryo sways around the pole for a little longer, then climbs down. Ueda takes another shot that stings his throat.
"Your turn," Ryo mutters, and Ueda gets up. He doesn't get to climb on stage. Subaru beats him to it, and he's actually trying to make the DJ play Christina's Dirrty, but then resigns himself to rocking to the music that's playing already.
Ueda turns away from him and steps away from the table, pretending like his legs aren't wobbly from all the alcohol. Ryo's seemingly the only one looking at him, not at Subaru. Ueda closes his eyes to everything and moves. To his defense, he's drunk, so he loosens his limbs and plays something slower in his head. He spins, then stretches his hands a bit, and twirls again. He rocks a little on his heels, hips following, and he loses grip on the reality around him. If Nishikido can pole dance like that, he can dance for him.
"Ueda's pretty good too. His style's unique, but good, right Ryo-chan?" Yoko says then, practically leering. It cuts through Ueda's inner soundtrack. He stops, grabs for a chair to steady himself, and opens his eyes. He meets Ryo's dark ones that turn away abruptly, and instead, Ueda is met with Yoko grinning at him, head resting on Hina's fake breasts, twirling a loose lock of Hina's wig around his finger.
Before Ueda can say anything, there's an uproar and all eyes turn to Subaru, truly stripping on stage, down to his red briefs. Next to him, Maru is showing off his equally red, but also frilly underwear, thin lace fabric clearly meant for women straining against his ass. Ueda grips the table harder.
And that's the moment some stranger from under the stage, most likely a stripper who was supposed to be on stage and whose show was abruptly stolen, shouts.
"It's Kanjani8!"
Ueda's world spins. It's a flurry of wigs and heels and sparkles as they run as fast as they can, everyone pulling everyone out of the club and to their respective vehicles. Ueda finds himself in the backseat of Kame's car with Ohkura and Subaru - still only in his briefs - and all he can wonder is where Ryo is.
Something tells him this dance battle isn't over.
*
Ueda is constantly amazed at Johnny's ability to ignore the obvious. Or, more appropriately, to make other people ignore it. He releases a statement about lookalikes, slaps Subaru and Maruyama on the wrists, and everybody is laughing about it the next day.
Except Ryo, who is a bitch when he's hung-over and spends the entire meeting with his coat over his head. Ueda almost offers to let him lay down in his lap again, then remembers that's not exactly a sober activity. Maybe he hasn't slept off his own intoxication yet or something.
Somehow Kame and Yoko had come up with a very rough draft of the script, which Taguchi and Ohkura act out with snobby accents, and Ueda decides it's enough to work with music-wise. They split up for the afternoon, and Ueda's surprised when Ryo automatically follows him to his car.
"Didn't think you'd be up to working today," Ueda says quietly, turning down the volume of the radio as it blares on.
"I just have a headache," Ryo grumbles. "I've performed on worse."
Ueda's first instinct is to say something about his 'performance' last night, but he bites his tongue. He's not sure they're cool enough for that yet, even if Ueda's about to take him home to make music together. It will be the first time Ryo's stepped foot in his apartment.
"Oh, hello, puppies," Ryo says in this sweet voice, squatting down to pet Ueda's dogs that rush to greet their owner upon his arrival. "I've always wanted to meet your dogs."
"They're friendly," Ueda tells him as he heads to the kitchen to put out several bowls of dog food. "You want anything to drink? Beer?"
Ryo snorts. "Funny."
Ueda makes tea out of habit, but Ryo looks grateful, and Ueda wonders why they've never been friends before. Ryo's not a complete asshole, and he's even kind of fun. One of life's unsolved mysteries, he concludes internally, as he sits at his piano and absently starts to play.
He starts with a slow melody, hoping to work his way up to the louder, more complicated arrangements as Ryo's head heals, and the next time he glances over, Ryo's quickly jotting things down in his notebook.
"Lyrics," Ryo says to Ueda's questioning look. "Just what comes to my head, nothing final or anything."
Ueda nods, not wanting to interrupt his flow. He could play the piano forever, the one thing his parents made him do that he enjoys, and sometimes he completely loses himself in the music. This seems to be one of those times, because when he focuses his eyes again, Ryo's much closer and staring down at Ueda's hands as they fly over the keys.
"Is something wrong?" Ueda asks, starting a bit at Ryo's close proximity.
Shaking his head, Ryo's stare doesn't leave Ueda's fingers. "I wish I could do that."
"You play the guitar better than me," Ueda says.
"That is true," Ryo responds. "But somehow this is more beautiful."
Ueda sucks his lips into his mouth, feeling like he was complimented instead of his music, but all he says is, "I can teach you how to play. Later, when this is all over."
"I'd like that, thank you."
If Ryo notices the tone of the music suddenly becoming more intense, he doesn't mention it.
*
Yoko decides they should start practicing as soon as possible. They only have a few lines of dialogue, but it's either that or Ueda being shut in a room with Ryo and desperately trying to come up with songs in a genre neither of them feels too comfortable with.
"Why didn't you get rid of the bump when you were under the knife already?" Yasu asks next to Ueda, as he starts on Kame's make-up.
Kame swats his hands away, turning a dark shade of red. "I did not have a plastic surgery. And I told you, I can do my make-up just fine."
Yasu pouts, and Ohkura comes by, patting him on a shoulder. "Yasu, be nice. No one talks about how you wear your skirts even after rehearsals," he says, and smiles at Kame. "Your bump is adorable," he adds and winks.
Kame is still bright red, but at least he's not glaring anymore. Ueda sighs and steals his eyeliner.
"Tell me why we need to be all made up for this," he says as the line under his eye gets crooked, and he ends up making it that much thicker to cover it up.
"To get in touch with your feminine side and to practice it," says Yoko, patting Ueda's head. "I have no worries about you though, That dance performance of yours made it pretty clear you're right in your element."
Ueda throws the eyeliner down on the table and gets up. He just needs to punch someone. It's been building up, more and more, with every time someone comments on his feminine side. Like that's the only thing good about him, the only quality.
"Here, your wig," Ryo says from the side, picking it up, and Yoko flees, wisely. "It fell."
"Uhm?" Ueda focuses on Ryo, on his serious face.
Ryo pushes the wig into Ueda's hand along with some tube and goes to sit on the other side of the room, swatting Yasu away when he wants to put lipstick on his face, and flipping his own wig on lopsidedly. He takes a guitar into his hand and plays a random tune, ignores everything until it's time to practice.
Ueda focuses on it, knowing it's something they've been working on, and opens his hand. He finds out the tube is a freshener spray, especially for wigs, that is supposed to make the head sweat less as well. Anger slowly dissipates from his veins, and he goes back to applying make-up.
He almost manages to ignore Yoko, Hina, and Taguchi whispering behind him.
"We should make Ueda twirl more," Yoko says.
"On stage?" Hina asks.
"Like a solo of a lost girl fighting for her dream? In an empty club after hours? I can do that. I'll just come up with basic steps and tell him to improvise." Taguchi is enthusiastic.
"Yeah on stage too. But wherever, Ryo likes to watch."
"How is that relevant?" Hina asks, but he's laughing.
"It's fun to watch Ryo squirm." Yoko sounds a little evil. "Maybe we'll need to get Ueda a bit drunk first."
"I think we would all perform better a bit drunk," Taguchi says, completely serious. "It would have the right flare then."
"Yoko, I just got an idea!" Kame joins them just as Ueda's fists start closing around the edge of the table again. Then Kame's girly perfume hits Ueda's nose, and he can't help to smile to himself at how much this one enjoys this. Yoko's so lucky sometimes.
Ueda listens to Kame rattle on about short, frilly skirts and doing 'the tuck', and sighs. He'd rather tuck his junk than think about Ryo squirming.
*
All things considered, Ueda loves being on a stage. He loves feeling the rush in his veins, everyone staring at him, and the music pounding in his head. Ryo had talked him out of high range vocals since he'll be dancing too, and Ueda finds himself grateful for it as they give the production its first official run-through.
It hadn't been difficult to talk Yoko out of a kiss scene with Hina, but there was still a lot of shameless flirting and dancing that went beyond the realm of the usual fanservice. Once Ohkura found out that Hina could pick Ueda up, he'd gone crazy with lifts and spins and finally Taguchi had to remind him that this isn't So You Think You Can Dance. Ueda got off lightly with one main lift, but he would take a whole routine of them over the predatory way Hina eyeballs him during their scenes.
"I wish Kame didn't insist on full make-up and wigs every time we're on stage," Ueda complains to Ryo during a break. "Murakami-kun gives me the creeps."
"It wouldn't matter to him if you shaved your head and wore only a g-string," Ryo replies as he strums his guitar a little more angrily than before. "He's an equal opportunity creeper."
"Great," Ueda grumbles, fluffing his wig in the mirror. "I suppose it could be worse."
Ryo snorts. "It could be me."
"You're smaller than me," Ueda points out, ignoring his initial reaction to this possibility.
"That's what Yoko said." Ryo's frowning from where Ueda can see in the mirror, and Ueda tilts his head in concern. "I tried to get them to switch roles after I found out there was going to be an actual male part."
"Why?" Ueda asks, his heart pounding.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ryo asks, and Ueda blinks. "I make a fucking ugly girl."
Ueda can't decide whether he's relieved or disappointed, so he chooses annoyance and narrows his eyes. "No you don't."
"I do." Ryo tugs on the curls of his wig and pouts in his own mirror; Ueda can't tell if it's real or not. "I would never date me."
"You're convincing enough," Ueda says noncommittally. "That's all that matters."
"I guess so," Ryo mumbles.
Ueda sighs. "Do you really want me to tell you that you make a hot girl?"
"No," Ryo answers as he gets to his feet and turns to face Ueda directly, face and hair completely done. "I'd rather just be hot."
Ueda stares after him as he leaves for his scene, which involves a pole, and feels even more confused than before.
"Somehow I feel like the real show is backstage," Ohkura says from his own make-up table, where he's feeding both himself and Kame, and two pairs of eyes stare knowingly at Ueda.
Ueda ignores them and prepares for his next scene.
*
Ryo is sprawled across Ueda's couch, and Ueda doesn't even find it bothersome anymore. He is sitting on the hand rest, holding the guitar, and Ryo keeps swatting at his fingers and moving them into better positions as they work on arrangements for the songs. Melodies and lyrics are done, but as Ueda has found out, neither of them likes half assed work, and they want to see the songs through till the end even if the agency offered the assistance with the post production of the songs.
"There, that's the way to do it," Ryo purrs lazily when Ueda goes through the sequence Ryo scribbled on paper earlier fast enough and he slumps back into the couch. "Play it again," he mutters and closes his eyes.
"You know, you could do it yourself," Ueda protests, but only because it's expected.
"It's your song, princess," Ryo says, corners of his mouth tugging upwards. Everyone has been calling Ueda's character in the show like that lately. Ueda's kind of tired of trying to throw punches because of it.
"Does that make you the ugly stepsister? Or a hag?" he asks, but pulls the guitar better into his lap.
Ryo makes a grimace, but doesn't comment because Ueda starts playing. Ueda watches Ryo as he goes through the song. It's interesting to see what emotions his own work produces, in the open, and so intense on someone's face like this. It makes him wish he could always have someone around to test his songs on. Ryo wouldn't be too bad of an option. He quickly shakes himself off and finishes the song.
"Now sing it," Ryo commands.
Ueda kicks him off his couch. "You wish." Ryo tries to pout. "Only if you can do the piano accompaniment for it," Ueda challenges.
He spends another hour teaching Ryo how to do just that, both of them sitting on the same stool and running fingers over the same keys. Every time Ryo nods frantically and asks about other transitions, or goes completely silent in concentration when Ueda shows him, Ueda feels his self confidence growing a little. Like he's not just an idol that looks pretty in a skirt. No matter how much that image is pushed onto him yet again.
*
Today is a good day. In the morning, Ueda manages to do his make-up in record time and everyone's too busy to comment on his graceful moves, dainty shoulders, gracious charisma or whatever the more perverted members of both bands decide to concentrate on for the day. Besides, it seems that Kame's most definitely authentic eyelids is the hotter topic today.
Right before they start the run-through, Ueda catches Ryo's eyes over their respective boas and Ryo licks his lips and gives him this come-hither look, clearly already in character. Who is a real bitch. But it makes Ueda all that more fired up.
So he gets really into it. When Hina leers at him, he manages to smile back, shyly or more provocatively, just like he remembers Yoko telling him before. When he does his solo dance, he hears Maruyama and Subaru whistling in approval, even though they should be in character as girls, doing nothing more than skipping around and clapping their hands gently. Subaru, gentle, right, Ueda almost slips out of his character then.
Halfway through, Ueda realizes that he's not the only one having a great run that day. Ryo's character gives him chills, just like it should. His heroin is especially vicious that day, and the sideway glances Ryo gives him are felt to the bones. This will be great from the audience, Ueda thinks. But then he is in Hina's arms and he's back to playing his part the best he can, wrapping his arms around his beloved dancer and sighing contently. Ryo is still glaring. Ueda doesn't remember him being in this scene, but Yoko and Kame has done so many last minute changes, he shouldn't be surprised.
Right as Hina and Ueda go through the final notes of their duet, Ueda registers Yoko and Kame pulling a rather unwilling Ryo off stage. Oh, so it's a love triangle, Ueda thinks. Ryo's jealous not just of Ueda's twirling skills; that makes sense. At least, Ueda's sure it made sense in Yoko's twisted imagination.
*
To the next part
Pairing/Group: Ryo/Ueda; Kanjani8/KAT-TUN
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: lots of frilly cross-dressing
Notes: Title inspired by a line from Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat. Collaboration with ryogrande, written for je_devilorangel, originally posted here.
Summary: When Johnny gets the idea to turn Dream Boys into Dream Girls, wearing a corset is the least of Ueda's problems.
Part 1 Part2
Four Leaves; Odoriko: Watashi ha odoriko yo furumai no osake ni mo kigaruku you you na ukigusa no odoriko - I am a dancer, a frivolous dancer that gets drunk easily when treated
"Dream Girls," Johnny says, and Ueda blinks.
Next to him, Yoko's eyes light up, making him look a little crazy. Ueda has always thought that one was borderline insane, even back when they were kids. "That's perfect, sir!" Yoko declares.
"With all due respect," Ueda begins, "why am I here?"
"Because I picked your name out of the hat," Johnny answers simply, then turns back to Yoko with a creepy grin. "You think so? You'll look pretty in big frilly skirts. And I can advertise it as the kabuki renaissance with a twist. We need to be innovative in the face of today's challenges."
He sighs as he leafs through a magazine of pouty AKB models, and Ueda lifts an eyebrow suspiciously. "Are you feeling threatened by the recent infestation of female robots, sir?"
"It's okay, Ueda-kun," Yoko says with a grin. "You're still cuter than all of them."
Ueda's glare must look more effective with his short hair, because Yoko's grin falls and he turns his attention back to Johnny, who conveniently ignores Ueda's question. "Your schedules are all cleared for the next three months while you put this together," Johnny goes on. "I'll promote NEWS in your absence."
"While we put this together?" Ueda repeats, starting to feel sick.
"Yes. This will be self-produced between your two groups. You'll perform it for me before we go live. Make it good."
Yoko claps happily while Ueda just stares at his boss. He wonders what he could have possibly done in his lifetime to deserve spending three entire months with the rest of KAT-TUN and all of Kanjani8. At least Dream Boys had been plotted out for them beforehand. They'll be building this one from scratch.
He already sees Koki and Yasu arguing over costumes while Hina and Taguchi play pranks on everyone and Nakamaru sighs a lot. Subaru would be a decent script writer, at least if the story was going to have a morbid theme. And Kame's good at giving direction.
Then Ueda's blood runs cold as he remembers who else is in Eito. He has to remind himself he's now almost twenty nine and pretty clear about who he is. And that Nishikido hasn't grown an inch since the last time they worked together. He relaxes a little. Johnny seems to take this as Ueda's, and possibly KAT-TUN's, approval of the whole deal.
"But you'll have to wear a wig," he says, and Ueda swears he could hear Johnny pouting.
Ueda makes a face, and Yoko hurries in to make it worse. "In three months, his hair will grow back, sir."
Ueda decides to go and cut it as short as possible the next day. It's less hot under the wig that way, and he will need every little thing to keep his integrity throughout this. Especially since Johnny and Yoko are already planning his costume, details of his corset included.
*
Yoko brings a boa to the big announcement that Johnny so kindly left to him and Ueda. For a moment, the room goes completely silent, then Kame comes forward and hugs Yoko excitedly.
"It's finally happening," he says and tries to hug Ueda too. Ueda gives him one look, and Kame opts for hugging Yoko again instead. "I can finally play with the make-up as much as I want."
"And you allowed this?" Suddenly Ryo is in Ueda's face, first to recover from the shock.
"Hey, it's not like I had a chance there," Ueda says defensively, as suddenly everyone but Yoko and Kame is staring at him in accusation.
Ryo actually deflates. "Right," he mumbles dejectedly, and quickly steps back like he just realized he was all up in Ueda's personal space.
"I'm doing the costumes," Yasu says, taken aback himself, and pulls at Koki. "You help me out, okay? If we're doing this, we're doing it in style."
And with that, the rest of Kanjani8 finally wakes up. All of a sudden, there's too much talking, and shouting, and moving around, and Hina hits all of them over head preventively.
In the frenzy of it all, Ueda steps back and lets them process the information. After all, his reaction was not much different, only he knows how to keep it all inside. Apparently, that's not how these men roll, and he dreads the next three months even more. He doesn't even stop to think about it when he finds Ryo sitting in the corner next to him, rocking in his chair and looking at the havoc in the room with terror in his eyes. Coping mechanisms, there are so many of them.
Oddly, it feels nice to not be the only one who isn't pleased with this development. Ueda watches both of their groups excitedly divide up tasks and make plans without a leader, as he knows they're both used to in their respective business. Seeing them all so happy makes Ueda feel a bit guilty about his initial reaction, and he tries to find the bright side to all of this. Eito is a fun group? There had been a lot of hijinks and gatherings that had left Ueda laughing so hard that his sides hurt the last time they all worked together.
"Ueda-kun, Nishikido-kun," someone is saying, and Ueda notices that Ryo snaps out of his daydreams as well to find Hina standing before them, looking disapproving while using a nasally teacher voice. "Since you were not involved in our brainstorming session just now, you've both been elected as music coordinators. The entire score is up to you. Do your best."
Ueda feels like the ground has been pulled out from under him and he's soaring through the sky at the same time. The prospect of collaborating with Ryo leaves much to be desired, but to be (mostly) responsible for all of the music in the production? He doubts even Ryo can ruin his love for arranging songs and vocals, and when he stops to look at it objectively, Ryo's just as talented at it as he is.
"I'll do my best," Ueda says first, followed by Ryo's mumble that sounds almost surprised.
Now interested, Ueda listens to the others talk and laugh as Kame draws up a schedule on his whiteboard. He and Yoko are writing the script, Koki and Yasu are doing costumes, Ryo and Ueda are in charge of the musical numbers, Taguchi and Ohkura are putting together choreography, Nakamaru and Maruyama are in charge of the set and props, and Subaru and Hina will just help out wherever needed. Or more likely, in Ueda's opinion, bother everyone while they work.
"The story should be something people can relate to," Kame thinks out loud, and Yoko nods. "A small-town girl trying to enter the cabaret world, maybe."
"And you'll be the small-town girl?" Ohkura asks with a smirk.
Kame offers him a sarcastic smile. "No. I was thinking Ueda would be a good choice."
Suddenly everyone in the room is staring at Ueda. "Uhm," Ueda says.
"I agree," volunteers Maruyama. "He has that 'regular guy' feel to him, doesn't he?"
The others nod, and Ueda catches Nakamaru grinning. Bastard is probably happy he's not the ordinary one anymore, though Ueda tells himself it's only because he's a better dancer than Nakamaru.
"Don't look at me like that, Tatsuya," Kame says sternly. "It's a lead role. Do you want it or not?"
For some reason he looks to the side to find Ryo's expression challenging, like he thinks Ueda won't do it. "Of course," Ueda decides, meeting Ryo's eyes.
"Kame should be the big sister who eases Ueda into the industry," Subaru suggests.
"Oh, I like that," says Kame, making notes on his phone. "There should be two of us. What do you say, Subaru?"
"Subaru looks like an old woman in drag," Hina interjects. "He should be the madam of the establishment."
Subaru flicks Hina in the ear and Hina smacks him in the head. Then Subaru smiles and shrugs. "I suppose you're right."
"Have Yoko do it," Ryo suggests, and Ueda hears a hint of malice in his voice.
Yoko eyes Kame. "Only if my boobs are bigger than his."
"Whatever," Kame says, and they fist pound.
A few other roles are decided, along with a basic plotline that surprisingly doesn't involve anyone dying. Ueda wonders if anyone will come see this play at all, then he remembers that they are twelve Johnny's idols dressing as women. As long as they're singing and dancing, people will throw money at them.
While Ueda imagines the juniors sweeping the money off stage during intermission, his character earns a love interest.
"Hina's the perfect height too. He can be a bouncer in the club, or something, always protecting Ueda," Yoko explains, and Kame scribbles the character profiles down furiously.
"I'm so looking forward to that kiss scene," Ryo snickers.
Ueda wishes for Ryo's guitar string to snap next time he plays and hopes he gets to witness it. Then Taguchi, of all people, suggests Ryo plays Ueda's rival girl in the club, and Ueda considers buying eleven voodoo dolls.
*
Three days later, Yoko texts them all about having writer's block. This is a problem because the rest of the production is dependent on the plot. In the meantime, Taguchi cries for inspiration beyond Ohkura's undulating hips for the choreography.
"Let's go to a strip club!" Subaru suggests in their next meeting, and Ueda only manages to keep his mouth from gaping because Ryo is sitting next to him. He doesn't want to be called 'fish-lips' right now.
Nakamaru tries to be a voice of reason. "The show is about a cabaret, not a strip club. And we can't all go. It will draw too much attention."
"I googled it," Subaru says firmly. "This one club has a cabaret-inspired show. Yoko needs our help. We all need to support each other. You can wear your wig and girl's clothes if you want to. It will be like a first practice."
Nakamaru pales and stays quiet.
"Subaru must have practiced that speech in front of mirror," Ryo grits out through his teeth. Hina hears it and laughs.
"Never underestimate the power of a perverted mind," he says, then smacks the table. "Let's do it! It will be a good bonding experience too, drinking together."
Ueda doesn't think it's necessary to look at naked women while bonding, but he bites his lip and starts to ponder if he has sunglasses big enough to hide all of his face that night.
When the meeting is over, Ueda bolts for the door as fast as possible. He almost trips on Ryo already standing in it though.
"Your number," Ryo mumbles.
"I thought Koki and Yasu were in charge of the costumes," Ueda says, a bit confused, thinking about how Yasu had taken all his measurements that day and wondered what cup Ueda's bra should be. Those were a lot of numbers.
"Your phone, you idiot," Ryo says more harshly, ears turning bright red.
"What? Why?" Ueda doesn't give it to just anyone, and he bets Ryo drunk dials people on his contact list.
"We need to start on the music soon. Unless you just want to leave it all up to me," Ryo answers, collecting himself and standing tall, almost as tall as Ueda.
"No way," Ueda shouts, and pulls out his phone. Like hell he's giving up the best part of this entire disaster.
Ryo actually smirks this time as he punches Ueda's number into his phone. "Thought so," he says, and spins to leave. Ueda is right on his heels, and they end up having a silent competition on who can walk faster to the parking lot. Ueda apparently still has longer legs though. He shoots Ryo a victorious grin as he opens his car doors, momentarily forgetting all about the wigs and strip clubs in his future.
Then Kame sends him pictures of wig choices for their outing, and Ueda cringes before selecting the all-black one. He's always preferred the natural look.
*
"This is fucking ridiculous," someone other than Ueda says, and he finds himself nodding and agreeing before recognizing the voice.
"You have no room to talk," he says, narrowing his eyes at Ryo's complete lack of costume. "You lucked out and picked one of the boy straws."
Kame had decided that it really was too risky for all twelve of them to go to a cabaret strip club together, even dressed like girls, so he suggested they split it up. Yasu happened to have left-over party straws with penises and boobs on them (Ueda did not want to know what kind of party this was), and they all picked one. Except Ueda, who was told he was going as a girl regardless. Perks of being the star.
"It's weird seeing you with girl hair again," Ohkura tells him, fluffing his own curly wig as his heels click next to Ueda. "I've gotten used to it short."
"Is it really necessary for you to wear those?" Ryo asks from Ohkura's other side. "You're already like gargantuan tall."
"Oh, Ryo-chan," Ohkura teases, grabbing Ryo's head and shoving his face in his bosom. "Perfect height, am I right?"
"Freak," Ryo mutters, but he doesn't bother to push Ohkura away.
Yoko's waiting for them at the entrance with Hina draped over his arm, and Ueda's first thought is that it's a damn shame Hina is the only one not dressing up for their show. He'd picked the girl straw and went all out, looking even skankier than Tegoshi with a mini-skirt and ponytail. He's even getting leers from other patrons who don't know any better, leading Yoko to tighten his arm around Hina's bare waist.
Ohkura notices Ueda's eyes and laughs, clapping him on the back before traipsing up to the other two Eito members, spinning his sparkly purse in his hand. "Hey, you hot bitch!"
"Hey yourself," Hina replies, waving to Ueda too, and Ueda's vision is a little ruined at the manly speaking voice. "Kame, Baru, and Maru - mine, not yours - are already inside, and Baru's already drunk."
"Junno's on his way," Ohkura says, flicking his long, fake nails. "Got held up by his woman. She's probably doing his make-up."
Ueda watches them strut their stuff as females and feels horribly confused. Hina especially is very convincing; Ueda can't keep his eyes off of him.
"Can you stare any harder," Ryo asks flatly, demanding Ueda's attention.
"Can you be any more jealous?" Ueda teases. "The man has nice legs, what can I say."
Ryo hrmphs and stomps into the club, leaving Ueda on his own. He pulls his sweater around his shoulders not because it's cold, but because of the stares he's getting from sleazy-looking men. He'd intended to wait for Nakamaru and Yasu, but each second spent outside the seedy building leaves him more and more creeped out.
After ten minutes, Ueda receives a mail from Nakamaru that says Massu is taking forever to do his hair and Yasu is 'helping'. Sighing, Ueda turns to the door and starts to head inside, but there are some men standing in the way, and instantly Ueda knows they're bad news.
"Who needs the club with cute, homely girls like this?" one of them says, and Ueda gives him an unimpressed look.
"I can punch your balls up into your throat," he tells them, using a higher voice as to not completely give himself away, and the men just laugh. "Please get out of my way."
"I don't think so, sweetheart-" another one jumps in, stepping closer to Ueda, but he's cut off by someone grabbing the back of his shirt.
"Cover's pretty high tonight," that voice growls at them. "Would be a shame for you all to get kicked out for harassment."
Ueda's eyes narrows even more as Ryo manages to glare them all down from below. "That wasn't necessary," Ueda tells him as the men shuffle away.
"You're welcome," Ryo says calmly, then turns to walk towards the table where the others are drinking and having fun.
Ueda follows him, fists still clenched from the confrontation, though he's no longer sure who he wants to hit.
*
A few hours later, there are more wigs lying around under the table they were occupying than on their heads, and Ueda's worried. Most of the guys are nowhere to be seen either.
"That's normal. It'll be fine. No one cares," Ryo says, and his voice is slurred and muffled in Ueda's stomach. Ueda still has no idea how Ryo's head got there, but it doesn't feel that bad, so he only stretches and watches the podium.
The girl that's up is doing some acrobatics on the pole, and the music, in Ueda's opinion, is far from a cabaret song. Then he realizes most of what he'll have to compose for the show will be cabaret, and he breaks into cold sweat.
"I can do that so much better," Ryo giggles in his lap, head now turned to the stage.
"Right," Ueda snorts.
"I can," Ryo says stubbornly and actually moves to sit up. Ueda frowns at the sudden movement.
"Then show me," he challenges, grabbing a random wig and pushing it towards Ryo. He doesn't really believe the other would.
Ryo pushes the wig away. "It would fall off anyway," he mutters. Ueda thinks he's not going to do anything. "What do I get in return?" Ryo then asks.
Before Ueda can collect enough brain cells to reply and refuse the challenge, Ryo's up on his feet. "You'll dance for me too," he concludes, and he's already crawling up on stage.
Suddenly, the table around Ueda's much more crowded, most of Kanjani8 coming back and cat calling as Ryo grabs the first empty pole. He sways his hips, and it's clumsy at the best. Ueda would laugh, but Ryo's looking straight at him, and yeah, this he still knows how to do, hooded eyes, lips parted, and fuck.
Then Ryo grabs the pole, legs flying over his head, and he's spinning down it like a pro. There's loud cheering, and Junno pulls cash from out of his fake bra, throws it on stage. Ryo sways around the pole for a little longer, then climbs down. Ueda takes another shot that stings his throat.
"Your turn," Ryo mutters, and Ueda gets up. He doesn't get to climb on stage. Subaru beats him to it, and he's actually trying to make the DJ play Christina's Dirrty, but then resigns himself to rocking to the music that's playing already.
Ueda turns away from him and steps away from the table, pretending like his legs aren't wobbly from all the alcohol. Ryo's seemingly the only one looking at him, not at Subaru. Ueda closes his eyes to everything and moves. To his defense, he's drunk, so he loosens his limbs and plays something slower in his head. He spins, then stretches his hands a bit, and twirls again. He rocks a little on his heels, hips following, and he loses grip on the reality around him. If Nishikido can pole dance like that, he can dance for him.
"Ueda's pretty good too. His style's unique, but good, right Ryo-chan?" Yoko says then, practically leering. It cuts through Ueda's inner soundtrack. He stops, grabs for a chair to steady himself, and opens his eyes. He meets Ryo's dark ones that turn away abruptly, and instead, Ueda is met with Yoko grinning at him, head resting on Hina's fake breasts, twirling a loose lock of Hina's wig around his finger.
Before Ueda can say anything, there's an uproar and all eyes turn to Subaru, truly stripping on stage, down to his red briefs. Next to him, Maru is showing off his equally red, but also frilly underwear, thin lace fabric clearly meant for women straining against his ass. Ueda grips the table harder.
And that's the moment some stranger from under the stage, most likely a stripper who was supposed to be on stage and whose show was abruptly stolen, shouts.
"It's Kanjani8!"
Ueda's world spins. It's a flurry of wigs and heels and sparkles as they run as fast as they can, everyone pulling everyone out of the club and to their respective vehicles. Ueda finds himself in the backseat of Kame's car with Ohkura and Subaru - still only in his briefs - and all he can wonder is where Ryo is.
Something tells him this dance battle isn't over.
*
Ueda is constantly amazed at Johnny's ability to ignore the obvious. Or, more appropriately, to make other people ignore it. He releases a statement about lookalikes, slaps Subaru and Maruyama on the wrists, and everybody is laughing about it the next day.
Except Ryo, who is a bitch when he's hung-over and spends the entire meeting with his coat over his head. Ueda almost offers to let him lay down in his lap again, then remembers that's not exactly a sober activity. Maybe he hasn't slept off his own intoxication yet or something.
Somehow Kame and Yoko had come up with a very rough draft of the script, which Taguchi and Ohkura act out with snobby accents, and Ueda decides it's enough to work with music-wise. They split up for the afternoon, and Ueda's surprised when Ryo automatically follows him to his car.
"Didn't think you'd be up to working today," Ueda says quietly, turning down the volume of the radio as it blares on.
"I just have a headache," Ryo grumbles. "I've performed on worse."
Ueda's first instinct is to say something about his 'performance' last night, but he bites his tongue. He's not sure they're cool enough for that yet, even if Ueda's about to take him home to make music together. It will be the first time Ryo's stepped foot in his apartment.
"Oh, hello, puppies," Ryo says in this sweet voice, squatting down to pet Ueda's dogs that rush to greet their owner upon his arrival. "I've always wanted to meet your dogs."
"They're friendly," Ueda tells him as he heads to the kitchen to put out several bowls of dog food. "You want anything to drink? Beer?"
Ryo snorts. "Funny."
Ueda makes tea out of habit, but Ryo looks grateful, and Ueda wonders why they've never been friends before. Ryo's not a complete asshole, and he's even kind of fun. One of life's unsolved mysteries, he concludes internally, as he sits at his piano and absently starts to play.
He starts with a slow melody, hoping to work his way up to the louder, more complicated arrangements as Ryo's head heals, and the next time he glances over, Ryo's quickly jotting things down in his notebook.
"Lyrics," Ryo says to Ueda's questioning look. "Just what comes to my head, nothing final or anything."
Ueda nods, not wanting to interrupt his flow. He could play the piano forever, the one thing his parents made him do that he enjoys, and sometimes he completely loses himself in the music. This seems to be one of those times, because when he focuses his eyes again, Ryo's much closer and staring down at Ueda's hands as they fly over the keys.
"Is something wrong?" Ueda asks, starting a bit at Ryo's close proximity.
Shaking his head, Ryo's stare doesn't leave Ueda's fingers. "I wish I could do that."
"You play the guitar better than me," Ueda says.
"That is true," Ryo responds. "But somehow this is more beautiful."
Ueda sucks his lips into his mouth, feeling like he was complimented instead of his music, but all he says is, "I can teach you how to play. Later, when this is all over."
"I'd like that, thank you."
If Ryo notices the tone of the music suddenly becoming more intense, he doesn't mention it.
*
Yoko decides they should start practicing as soon as possible. They only have a few lines of dialogue, but it's either that or Ueda being shut in a room with Ryo and desperately trying to come up with songs in a genre neither of them feels too comfortable with.
"Why didn't you get rid of the bump when you were under the knife already?" Yasu asks next to Ueda, as he starts on Kame's make-up.
Kame swats his hands away, turning a dark shade of red. "I did not have a plastic surgery. And I told you, I can do my make-up just fine."
Yasu pouts, and Ohkura comes by, patting him on a shoulder. "Yasu, be nice. No one talks about how you wear your skirts even after rehearsals," he says, and smiles at Kame. "Your bump is adorable," he adds and winks.
Kame is still bright red, but at least he's not glaring anymore. Ueda sighs and steals his eyeliner.
"Tell me why we need to be all made up for this," he says as the line under his eye gets crooked, and he ends up making it that much thicker to cover it up.
"To get in touch with your feminine side and to practice it," says Yoko, patting Ueda's head. "I have no worries about you though, That dance performance of yours made it pretty clear you're right in your element."
Ueda throws the eyeliner down on the table and gets up. He just needs to punch someone. It's been building up, more and more, with every time someone comments on his feminine side. Like that's the only thing good about him, the only quality.
"Here, your wig," Ryo says from the side, picking it up, and Yoko flees, wisely. "It fell."
"Uhm?" Ueda focuses on Ryo, on his serious face.
Ryo pushes the wig into Ueda's hand along with some tube and goes to sit on the other side of the room, swatting Yasu away when he wants to put lipstick on his face, and flipping his own wig on lopsidedly. He takes a guitar into his hand and plays a random tune, ignores everything until it's time to practice.
Ueda focuses on it, knowing it's something they've been working on, and opens his hand. He finds out the tube is a freshener spray, especially for wigs, that is supposed to make the head sweat less as well. Anger slowly dissipates from his veins, and he goes back to applying make-up.
He almost manages to ignore Yoko, Hina, and Taguchi whispering behind him.
"We should make Ueda twirl more," Yoko says.
"On stage?" Hina asks.
"Like a solo of a lost girl fighting for her dream? In an empty club after hours? I can do that. I'll just come up with basic steps and tell him to improvise." Taguchi is enthusiastic.
"Yeah on stage too. But wherever, Ryo likes to watch."
"How is that relevant?" Hina asks, but he's laughing.
"It's fun to watch Ryo squirm." Yoko sounds a little evil. "Maybe we'll need to get Ueda a bit drunk first."
"I think we would all perform better a bit drunk," Taguchi says, completely serious. "It would have the right flare then."
"Yoko, I just got an idea!" Kame joins them just as Ueda's fists start closing around the edge of the table again. Then Kame's girly perfume hits Ueda's nose, and he can't help to smile to himself at how much this one enjoys this. Yoko's so lucky sometimes.
Ueda listens to Kame rattle on about short, frilly skirts and doing 'the tuck', and sighs. He'd rather tuck his junk than think about Ryo squirming.
*
All things considered, Ueda loves being on a stage. He loves feeling the rush in his veins, everyone staring at him, and the music pounding in his head. Ryo had talked him out of high range vocals since he'll be dancing too, and Ueda finds himself grateful for it as they give the production its first official run-through.
It hadn't been difficult to talk Yoko out of a kiss scene with Hina, but there was still a lot of shameless flirting and dancing that went beyond the realm of the usual fanservice. Once Ohkura found out that Hina could pick Ueda up, he'd gone crazy with lifts and spins and finally Taguchi had to remind him that this isn't So You Think You Can Dance. Ueda got off lightly with one main lift, but he would take a whole routine of them over the predatory way Hina eyeballs him during their scenes.
"I wish Kame didn't insist on full make-up and wigs every time we're on stage," Ueda complains to Ryo during a break. "Murakami-kun gives me the creeps."
"It wouldn't matter to him if you shaved your head and wore only a g-string," Ryo replies as he strums his guitar a little more angrily than before. "He's an equal opportunity creeper."
"Great," Ueda grumbles, fluffing his wig in the mirror. "I suppose it could be worse."
Ryo snorts. "It could be me."
"You're smaller than me," Ueda points out, ignoring his initial reaction to this possibility.
"That's what Yoko said." Ryo's frowning from where Ueda can see in the mirror, and Ueda tilts his head in concern. "I tried to get them to switch roles after I found out there was going to be an actual male part."
"Why?" Ueda asks, his heart pounding.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ryo asks, and Ueda blinks. "I make a fucking ugly girl."
Ueda can't decide whether he's relieved or disappointed, so he chooses annoyance and narrows his eyes. "No you don't."
"I do." Ryo tugs on the curls of his wig and pouts in his own mirror; Ueda can't tell if it's real or not. "I would never date me."
"You're convincing enough," Ueda says noncommittally. "That's all that matters."
"I guess so," Ryo mumbles.
Ueda sighs. "Do you really want me to tell you that you make a hot girl?"
"No," Ryo answers as he gets to his feet and turns to face Ueda directly, face and hair completely done. "I'd rather just be hot."
Ueda stares after him as he leaves for his scene, which involves a pole, and feels even more confused than before.
"Somehow I feel like the real show is backstage," Ohkura says from his own make-up table, where he's feeding both himself and Kame, and two pairs of eyes stare knowingly at Ueda.
Ueda ignores them and prepares for his next scene.
*
Ryo is sprawled across Ueda's couch, and Ueda doesn't even find it bothersome anymore. He is sitting on the hand rest, holding the guitar, and Ryo keeps swatting at his fingers and moving them into better positions as they work on arrangements for the songs. Melodies and lyrics are done, but as Ueda has found out, neither of them likes half assed work, and they want to see the songs through till the end even if the agency offered the assistance with the post production of the songs.
"There, that's the way to do it," Ryo purrs lazily when Ueda goes through the sequence Ryo scribbled on paper earlier fast enough and he slumps back into the couch. "Play it again," he mutters and closes his eyes.
"You know, you could do it yourself," Ueda protests, but only because it's expected.
"It's your song, princess," Ryo says, corners of his mouth tugging upwards. Everyone has been calling Ueda's character in the show like that lately. Ueda's kind of tired of trying to throw punches because of it.
"Does that make you the ugly stepsister? Or a hag?" he asks, but pulls the guitar better into his lap.
Ryo makes a grimace, but doesn't comment because Ueda starts playing. Ueda watches Ryo as he goes through the song. It's interesting to see what emotions his own work produces, in the open, and so intense on someone's face like this. It makes him wish he could always have someone around to test his songs on. Ryo wouldn't be too bad of an option. He quickly shakes himself off and finishes the song.
"Now sing it," Ryo commands.
Ueda kicks him off his couch. "You wish." Ryo tries to pout. "Only if you can do the piano accompaniment for it," Ueda challenges.
He spends another hour teaching Ryo how to do just that, both of them sitting on the same stool and running fingers over the same keys. Every time Ryo nods frantically and asks about other transitions, or goes completely silent in concentration when Ueda shows him, Ueda feels his self confidence growing a little. Like he's not just an idol that looks pretty in a skirt. No matter how much that image is pushed onto him yet again.
*
Today is a good day. In the morning, Ueda manages to do his make-up in record time and everyone's too busy to comment on his graceful moves, dainty shoulders, gracious charisma or whatever the more perverted members of both bands decide to concentrate on for the day. Besides, it seems that Kame's most definitely authentic eyelids is the hotter topic today.
Right before they start the run-through, Ueda catches Ryo's eyes over their respective boas and Ryo licks his lips and gives him this come-hither look, clearly already in character. Who is a real bitch. But it makes Ueda all that more fired up.
So he gets really into it. When Hina leers at him, he manages to smile back, shyly or more provocatively, just like he remembers Yoko telling him before. When he does his solo dance, he hears Maruyama and Subaru whistling in approval, even though they should be in character as girls, doing nothing more than skipping around and clapping their hands gently. Subaru, gentle, right, Ueda almost slips out of his character then.
Halfway through, Ueda realizes that he's not the only one having a great run that day. Ryo's character gives him chills, just like it should. His heroin is especially vicious that day, and the sideway glances Ryo gives him are felt to the bones. This will be great from the audience, Ueda thinks. But then he is in Hina's arms and he's back to playing his part the best he can, wrapping his arms around his beloved dancer and sighing contently. Ryo is still glaring. Ueda doesn't remember him being in this scene, but Yoko and Kame has done so many last minute changes, he shouldn't be surprised.
Right as Hina and Ueda go through the final notes of their duet, Ueda registers Yoko and Kame pulling a rather unwilling Ryo off stage. Oh, so it's a love triangle, Ueda thinks. Ryo's jealous not just of Ueda's twirling skills; that makes sense. At least, Ueda's sure it made sense in Yoko's twisted imagination.
*
To the next part