(no subject)
i seems truer more than ever that i am alone in all this and no one cares regardless what they say or how they put it.
i've had someone turn their back on me for the last time that i'm jes giving up on it all. i have enough pain that is worth it but for one more time when it was me who wanted it, what the fuck do they care now
she wanted me and after a certain day i thought it could change and seemed blissful, it only blew up in my face and i was destroyed.
with no reason as far as i know.
it doesn't fucking matter now, i'm jes giving up on it all, i don't care i don't want it and fuck feeling for anyone or anything.
why do i bother with others? well, why not live in pain?
living in misery sucks marginally less than dying for it
there is no one that matters to me anymore... no one proves it... so why should i give a shit?
because i'm a true friend, i will put up with all your stupid fucking bullshit from all the drama you still are a magnet to: and don't bullshit me on that, you fucking get yourself into it, it DOES NOT find you. To you cheating bastards and twats. You god damn outlandish liars. YOUR DEPRESSIVE ISSUES! What ever little thing that ails you and I listen. Trying to label yourself smarter than me or correct me on something I know or fucking order me like a simple minded minion.
ALL OF THAT I PUT UP WITH! That's you so many should be out that appreciate I am still their friend in some way, shape or from.
What do I get out of it?
nothing........
it's no surprise that when I die, it's by my choice. I can't wait for that day. That is the most exciting thing is knowing i am going to die. And it's my choice.
Will I have a happy life per-say come then or not?
love does not exist for many of us in this world... it looks like i am one of those even with my ambitions of a family life. it gets hard to accept as the nights turn to day. there is no love... happy endings don't exist... there is space for rent
I am alone........ I think that is actually harder to accept than not having her as my lover anymore...i post this here, cuz there is no real other way of an outlet for this... therefore, it doesn't mater. so i leave you with this: what does it REALLY matter
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my Fate - If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart... when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a Saint...
My own was banished long ago / It took the Death of Hope to let you go
So Break Yourself Against My Stones
And Spit Your Pity In My Soul
You Never Needed Any Help
You Sold Me Out To Save Yourself
And I Won't Listen To Your Shame
You Ran Away - You're All The Same
Angels Lie To Keep Control...
My Love Was Punished Long Ago
If You Still Care, Don't Ever Let Me Know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...
i've had someone turn their back on me for the last time that i'm jes giving up on it all. i have enough pain that is worth it but for one more time when it was me who wanted it, what the fuck do they care now
she wanted me and after a certain day i thought it could change and seemed blissful, it only blew up in my face and i was destroyed.
with no reason as far as i know.
it doesn't fucking matter now, i'm jes giving up on it all, i don't care i don't want it and fuck feeling for anyone or anything.
why do i bother with others? well, why not live in pain?
living in misery sucks marginally less than dying for it
there is no one that matters to me anymore... no one proves it... so why should i give a shit?
because i'm a true friend, i will put up with all your stupid fucking bullshit from all the drama you still are a magnet to: and don't bullshit me on that, you fucking get yourself into it, it DOES NOT find you. To you cheating bastards and twats. You god damn outlandish liars. YOUR DEPRESSIVE ISSUES! What ever little thing that ails you and I listen. Trying to label yourself smarter than me or correct me on something I know or fucking order me like a simple minded minion.
ALL OF THAT I PUT UP WITH! That's you so many should be out that appreciate I am still their friend in some way, shape or from.
What do I get out of it?
nothing........
it's no surprise that when I die, it's by my choice. I can't wait for that day. That is the most exciting thing is knowing i am going to die. And it's my choice.
Will I have a happy life per-say come then or not?
love does not exist for many of us in this world... it looks like i am one of those even with my ambitions of a family life. it gets hard to accept as the nights turn to day. there is no love... happy endings don't exist... there is space for rent
I am alone........ I think that is actually harder to accept than not having her as my lover anymore...i post this here, cuz there is no real other way of an outlet for this... therefore, it doesn't mater. so i leave you with this: what does it REALLY matter
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my Fate - If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know
I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart... when you refused to fight
So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a Saint...
My own was banished long ago / It took the Death of Hope to let you go
So Break Yourself Against My Stones
And Spit Your Pity In My Soul
You Never Needed Any Help
You Sold Me Out To Save Yourself
And I Won't Listen To Your Shame
You Ran Away - You're All The Same
Angels Lie To Keep Control...
My Love Was Punished Long Ago
If You Still Care, Don't Ever Let Me Know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...