(no subject)

[pilleightysixmg]

i never thought happiness could be so hard. i cry now from time to time. i jes never thought happiness could come this soon. but with a very heavy heart and the toughest decision i've ever had to make in my life. i know this must be done. i can't deal with being who i am but i'm happy i have her i guess. this fucking sucks but i don't want to be like so many i know. stuck in a rut and almost no way to get out. what is this? i don't want it. why must this happen? and what the fuck do most care. i've come to realize that some don't think others important more than they.i jes want to feel the comfort of friends. i'm sorry i'm not a better friend myself but goddamn all of this. i want too much.. i see that i'm selfish. but i want to know who's there. i don't do enough i guess... but i thought i did in the past. vall it self lothing, call it selfishness... call it what you want. i'm jes one of those so fucked up that doesn't know what to do with things. please. i do ask for help. i've helped so many others in the past. is it too much to ask for some of my own? or have I not done enough helping? maybe that's a part of protecting others and helping others. what is this? well, i assume it's best i jes wait and see. i'll be here crying myself into madness as few would care and many would. i'm sorry to all my friends i'm not there for. jes please hear. tat's all. jes hear me. you need to know that i'm always there for you. regardless of it all.

i am sorry

-pill