How Often Do You Like To Be In Control?
The question in my subject heading was asked at the beginning of an Acura commercial. To the right of the question it had a gaggle of answers: never, sometimes, most of the time, always. This was a question, when, I asked myself, I wasn't sure how to answer.
When people find out that I have never flown a plane or that I hate roller coasters, I usually respond with, "It's because I'm not in control. If you strapped me in a Formula-1 car and let me go 200 MPH around a closed circuit, I'd be fine. But the second you take me out of that seat, and let someone else drive, I'm scared shitless." Which is true. Couldn't be more true.
That's good for play and all, but then what about work? Is there ever a time when you're "in control" at work? I thought about it in my drunken stupor and said to myself - since I didn't know anyone else at the bar (actually I had met 3 other people at the bar but it was so packed after the Tigers' game that I didn't really need to bother any of them) - that yes, there are times when I'm in control at work. When? Duh, when I'm a project manager or I'm leading some sort of team or guiding someone in their quest for knowledge.
When this second case popped up, I second-guessed that I liked being in control. At work, I hate it. Being in control at work translates to another word: responsibility. A.K.A. if something fucks up, you're responsible for it. I don't like having that title. Why? Because I'm not confident enough. I rarely am. Even with computers, even with driving, I'll always second-guess myself if someone has some opposing view-point they'd like to say.
Which brings me to my next digression, the bedroom. Do I like to be in control all the time? I have to say no. I mean, there are times when it's fun to be control. You know, be the one that essentially guides the action; which position, who's gonna do what, yeah, you like your hair pulled don't you, yeah you dirty little.. oh. Hey. Yeah.
Anyways, but there are times when I need some resistance. I don't want to do all the work all the fucking time - it gets old quickly. Let me see what's in your head, what do you like, maybe it turns us both on, I don't fucking know. Point is, I don't want to feel like I'm responsible for the sexual satisfaction of myself and my partner. If I share responsibility, and control, I therefore release myself of some of the guilt that comes when both people (or one person) isn't happy.
So there you have it! I'm a confused individual!
When people find out that I have never flown a plane or that I hate roller coasters, I usually respond with, "It's because I'm not in control. If you strapped me in a Formula-1 car and let me go 200 MPH around a closed circuit, I'd be fine. But the second you take me out of that seat, and let someone else drive, I'm scared shitless." Which is true. Couldn't be more true.
That's good for play and all, but then what about work? Is there ever a time when you're "in control" at work? I thought about it in my drunken stupor and said to myself - since I didn't know anyone else at the bar (actually I had met 3 other people at the bar but it was so packed after the Tigers' game that I didn't really need to bother any of them) - that yes, there are times when I'm in control at work. When? Duh, when I'm a project manager or I'm leading some sort of team or guiding someone in their quest for knowledge.
When this second case popped up, I second-guessed that I liked being in control. At work, I hate it. Being in control at work translates to another word: responsibility. A.K.A. if something fucks up, you're responsible for it. I don't like having that title. Why? Because I'm not confident enough. I rarely am. Even with computers, even with driving, I'll always second-guess myself if someone has some opposing view-point they'd like to say.
Which brings me to my next digression, the bedroom. Do I like to be in control all the time? I have to say no. I mean, there are times when it's fun to be control. You know, be the one that essentially guides the action; which position, who's gonna do what, yeah, you like your hair pulled don't you, yeah you dirty little.. oh. Hey. Yeah.
Anyways, but there are times when I need some resistance. I don't want to do all the work all the fucking time - it gets old quickly. Let me see what's in your head, what do you like, maybe it turns us both on, I don't fucking know. Point is, I don't want to feel like I'm responsible for the sexual satisfaction of myself and my partner. If I share responsibility, and control, I therefore release myself of some of the guilt that comes when both people (or one person) isn't happy.
So there you have it! I'm a confused individual!