Graduation usually doesn't feel for me like much is changing, not anymore. It's rather the beginning of the school year that feels like a change, when all the new kids flood in and there are new personalities to get used to. But this year is different, probably because so much has happened to me. It has been a time of drastic change ( Read more... )

I can't recall the last time I felt this fulfilled. I certainly haven't been this happy in a long time, either ( Read more... )

I spent the first hour of Vayne-sama's departure trying to read, to take some comfort from it, but I can't even get through a paragraph, which is the minimum threshhold for getting anything out of it. So I ended up just staring out the window, and staring at my recent syntheses... just trying dully to absorb some comfort from something. I don't ( Read more... )

I feel rather embarrassed at having had such a breakdown in front of my students. After all that, it feels like nothing was wrong in the first place ( Read more... )

Since Vayne came to see me yesterday, I've been feeling calmer. That feeling of wrongness has gone away almost completely. I worried a bit when we had to make sleeping arrangements and I was afraid that Vayne would go home to his own room-- I was afraid somehow that the feeling would come back, although I don't know why, because I think I've fallen ( Read more... )

I know you all have good reason to hate me now. I won't expect sympathy.

But if all I can do is voice my concern, then I'm going to do that at least. Something seems very, very wrong, and it has to do with Vayne. It's only worse now than ever. Before, I feared that he might become a threat-- I knew it with mortal certainty-- but now, I know ( Read more... )

I spent some time today reading over some texts that I haven't looked at in a while. Sometimes when I'm feeling unsettled, the best cure is to read some theory... Alchemy has a way of comforting one's fears. It feels like no matter what problems arise, someone has always said something on the topic that makes me feel better ( Read more... )

I just made a journal and this was on the screen that greeted me:


( Read more... )