Rainy, Cold...
& a wee bit depressed.
Well, ok, a lot depressed; I've been battling the big blues for the last month or so, since really realizing that I don't much like where I live. I'm having a lot of trouble adapting to the culture of southern Maryland... which, for the most part, is full of very nice and truly friendly people. But the "elephant on the table ( Read more... )
Well, ok, a lot depressed; I've been battling the big blues for the last month or so, since really realizing that I don't much like where I live. I'm having a lot of trouble adapting to the culture of southern Maryland... which, for the most part, is full of very nice and truly friendly people. But the "elephant on the table ( Read more... )
Trash is a terrible problem, particularly ages-old, multi-layered trash that isn't going to go away. Them ole' bottles 'r a-stayin' theer. Look into gurrullia (I'm @ work where there's no spell-check) gardening. If there's a native 'wildflower' (weed) that you can buy as a seed, buy and chuck some. Daisies? Black-Eyed Susans? Virgin's Bower?
Then you can feel that you're doing something and also be righting the balance (just a little) towards positive.
Ephemeral trash is different. You can take a daily walk, perhaps down that lovely red-clay dirt road, and fill up one bag (the kitchen-sized, not the trash-can sized), set it down when it's full, and pick it up as you return. Set something (like a white stone or a log) as a marker and start there the next day. When you get to the destination point (like a crossroad or the end of the world) you can work back home on the other side of the road. And then start again.
I see this as 3-fold:
It's mindfulness, like chopping wood and hauling water.
You're taking action, which brightens your own mind.
It might be like NYC, and you will find less trash on that road-- as an ancillary benifit, your son will have a good role model; both of my children are absolute about putting trash in their pockets and picking things up.
Deer. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, you're a vegetarian, aren't you?
You must have already faced the problem of other people eating meat. My take on it (when I lived in rural NYS)was that deer/rabbits/groundhogs had a better life, even when hunted, than feedlot and battery animals do. We ate deer as our only red meat because I felt that one must, in conscience, eat ALL of the animal so I ate everybody's less attractive cuts. I disallowed squirrels because I don't like their terrible stringiness when cooked. I also disallowed Pike (the fish) because of the bones until our long-term babysitter turned out to like it. She, in return, gave me many peoples' gov'ment rice because I (while not on welfare) was the only person many people knew who ate rice.
It's a system.
Apart from the macho posturing, many hunters strongly identify with what they do as a folkway. But they wouldn't discuss that with a woman and a foreigner. Wear orange; ignore.
I only read serious books on my lunch, so not even a chapter a day. It also gives me no choice but to read. At home I read quite silly books, often over and over again; comfort food for the brain.
But yes, I am an andogynous depressive. That is, I lack the synaptical chemical for neuro-transmitting. You can take it in pill form-- it's not an 'anti-depression' medication, it allows nerves to function normally. Inability to act is a prime symptom, as well as the Black Dog. Stress (like discomfort with where you're living and having a small child you are primary care-provider for) can use up the scanty supply in people who don't produce much, thus creating something very like situational depression but with a different cause. If you try neuro-transmitter drugs, the plus is that it has no effect what-so-ever except dry mouth if that is not your diagnosis-- it's not a blanket drug.
Heart-shaped stones!! Nice sign. Also, isn't the purple flower 'Heal-All'?
When you undertake a big study, like Herbalism, I think it's important to not set yourself deadlines. Allowing knowing to grow is far more organic.
And eat extra chocolate-- words to live by!!
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And to pick up the garbage. Well, some of it; there's really so much of it. And the rain churns up more and more, it's really wild. I walked out after a rainstorm the other day and there was practically a whole china set on the lawn that wasn't there before. OK so it was one piece ;) but you get the idea. I don't think there's a way to get to all of it.
What I'm curious about is the "folkway" that determines that generations ought to be ok with dumping every bit of garbage all around... especially current generations, who are supposedly the most proud of their surrounds (it's Amerikuh, after all), and the dump does not charge a fee for your garbage haul. Sigh.
No, I'm not vegetarian, nor is my son-- I *knew* I was pregnant the day I got a mean craving for a cheezburger that wouldn't quit... It's just the attitude, the lack of respect, the death-metal soundtrack and roaring engines that echo through the forest. It's just weird to me, I truly do not get it. I am not sure how to ignore it.
I am feeling much better lately-- and I am beginning to wonder if the depression isn't the cause of an estrogen drop, as the timing of it is twice a month! Hmmm. Due for more research, methinks.
In the meantime, perhaps a part of the answer is growing right outside me front door-- that is indeed "Heal-All", which I know nothing about save for I am very attracted to it, and it is growing prolifically! A friend who knows more about these things (and who has lived here since the 70's) says the seasons shift, and this year it's Heal-All's turn for the spotlight.
:) Many thanks my friend.
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clapping wildly!
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