and then, Bones
I was going to follow all of that with a brilliant exposition on Why Any Of That Matters, and of course, Life came along with its own ideas about it all. And so here, truly, is why any of that matters.
I had a dream last night where I lost something very sacred to me-- something I've had a fear of misplacing for a long while now-- and then I found it again, with what seemed like ease, but I hesitate to call it that because that word sounds so lackidaisical, and I'm still going, "oh, shit. wow."
And immediately upon coming home-- it was New Year's Eve, and that detail seems significant-- I lit a Grand Offering Fire on my "entertainment center", which was really a glorified bookshelf covered in precious books, pottery, artwork, and other really sweet things. And though I lit the Fire in the "Traditional Manner"-- by which I took great care to do so-- the thing caught fire of course, and all these lovely objects caught flame, most notably an old Navajo rug (that I didn't know I had but, damn, that was a nice rug!, in the old Rio Grande bi-chrome style...but I drift...). It wasn't a major fire so I was able to put it out easily enough, and I awoke pretty much immediately after thinking to myself, "hmm, interesting."
It was significant, then, that it was New Year's Eve-- the brink of what we tend to think of as "another go" or another chance at something. And losing, and then finding again, what I've long had a fear of finding myself separated from-- that was like a gift of a message to not worry so much after all. (Thank you, thanks...) But the Offering Gone Wrong? Here are the bones of my dilemma.
Fire is a purifying element, to be sure. I once watched an entire forest go up in flames (the Lama FIre of Taos in '96) and learned that lesson quickly in the meantime. It's also, I'm learning again, a creative element-- the other partner in the dance with water, which I've seen honored so beautifully in a few posts on cr_r. But the Fire of my dream was nearly alive, and pretty much seemed to be playing a practical joke on me: Silly Human, you are Trying Too Hard. For in my offering, I was nearly sacrificing all that I was offering to: this sacred, abundant earth (pottery), the wisdom held within it (books), and the divine creative mystery (paintings).
The fire went out easily enough, of course. (Thank goodness.) And it got me to thinking (which is why I'm up and not sleeping in)...
It got me to thinking of this Great Idea I had that I needed to find a way to "reconnect" with the Sacred, Divine nature of life, which we are losing as a society (I feel), or have already lost perhaps (but more on that later).
And so whilst in California, I dedicated my fledgling garden to The Old Ones (mainly Brigid); yet four times my landlords had our small yard dug up by swearing, filthy, salt-o-the-earth Plumbers, peeking-butt-cracks and all.
And in my homes since the birth of my son, I've attempted to make altars to honor The Old Ones; yet with each month of my son's growth, the contents of the altar would shrink back and back, edging ever closer to the safety of the wall and out of reach, till one day all the Really Sacred Objects had disappeared and in their stead lived teddy bears, socks, baby-books, toys...
And finally just the other day, as I was Trying To Connect with the land-spirits of this place, of my new home on a river by the Chesapeake, my little son decided to try "swimming" (like Roo does, in "Piglet's Big Movie")-- yep in freezing temps-- So luckily I snapped out of my Connecting in time to sweep him out of the little waves and whisk him home to the fire, and hot chocolate...
Alright alright alright already, I got the message! But oh me, if I can't do any of these things which once were so natural to me, to honor You-- what do I do? What on earth do I do?
At least I've got plenty to laugh about...
And no harm has come of it.
But, what is the right way?
I had a dream last night where I lost something very sacred to me-- something I've had a fear of misplacing for a long while now-- and then I found it again, with what seemed like ease, but I hesitate to call it that because that word sounds so lackidaisical, and I'm still going, "oh, shit. wow."
And immediately upon coming home-- it was New Year's Eve, and that detail seems significant-- I lit a Grand Offering Fire on my "entertainment center", which was really a glorified bookshelf covered in precious books, pottery, artwork, and other really sweet things. And though I lit the Fire in the "Traditional Manner"-- by which I took great care to do so-- the thing caught fire of course, and all these lovely objects caught flame, most notably an old Navajo rug (that I didn't know I had but, damn, that was a nice rug!, in the old Rio Grande bi-chrome style...but I drift...). It wasn't a major fire so I was able to put it out easily enough, and I awoke pretty much immediately after thinking to myself, "hmm, interesting."
It was significant, then, that it was New Year's Eve-- the brink of what we tend to think of as "another go" or another chance at something. And losing, and then finding again, what I've long had a fear of finding myself separated from-- that was like a gift of a message to not worry so much after all. (Thank you, thanks...) But the Offering Gone Wrong? Here are the bones of my dilemma.
Fire is a purifying element, to be sure. I once watched an entire forest go up in flames (the Lama FIre of Taos in '96) and learned that lesson quickly in the meantime. It's also, I'm learning again, a creative element-- the other partner in the dance with water, which I've seen honored so beautifully in a few posts on cr_r. But the Fire of my dream was nearly alive, and pretty much seemed to be playing a practical joke on me: Silly Human, you are Trying Too Hard. For in my offering, I was nearly sacrificing all that I was offering to: this sacred, abundant earth (pottery), the wisdom held within it (books), and the divine creative mystery (paintings).
The fire went out easily enough, of course. (Thank goodness.) And it got me to thinking (which is why I'm up and not sleeping in)...
It got me to thinking of this Great Idea I had that I needed to find a way to "reconnect" with the Sacred, Divine nature of life, which we are losing as a society (I feel), or have already lost perhaps (but more on that later).
And so whilst in California, I dedicated my fledgling garden to The Old Ones (mainly Brigid); yet four times my landlords had our small yard dug up by swearing, filthy, salt-o-the-earth Plumbers, peeking-butt-cracks and all.
And in my homes since the birth of my son, I've attempted to make altars to honor The Old Ones; yet with each month of my son's growth, the contents of the altar would shrink back and back, edging ever closer to the safety of the wall and out of reach, till one day all the Really Sacred Objects had disappeared and in their stead lived teddy bears, socks, baby-books, toys...
And finally just the other day, as I was Trying To Connect with the land-spirits of this place, of my new home on a river by the Chesapeake, my little son decided to try "swimming" (like Roo does, in "Piglet's Big Movie")-- yep in freezing temps-- So luckily I snapped out of my Connecting in time to sweep him out of the little waves and whisk him home to the fire, and hot chocolate...
Alright alright alright already, I got the message! But oh me, if I can't do any of these things which once were so natural to me, to honor You-- what do I do? What on earth do I do?
At least I've got plenty to laugh about...
And no harm has come of it.
But, what is the right way?