feels
I have been feeling like shit and I don't really know why.
I mean, I am back in that place where I am spending most of my time in bed not eating or moving or doing anything at all
and it's confusing to me, because the greatest problems I am facing currently are school and food shopping (which seems ridiculous at the moment because I am not eating, and it's not even like I am deliberately not eating, I buy the food with the intention of eating and then I get to 2 am and I realize that I haven't had breakfast, lunch or dinner, instead I had 8 cups of coffee and 2 packets of cigarettes instead or something stupid like that)
and it's not even like I am feeling sad either, I am not feeling anything I feel completely and utterly hopeless and lost. I am totally apathetic towards everything and it sucks!
I am meant to be there for my friends if they need me, or my boyfriend (who still insists on NOT talking to me about ANYTHING although he is still quite clearly in that hole he dug himself) but I can't be if all I am doing is lying in bed for 7 months like last time.
I am being beyond ridiculous.
I mean, I am back in that place where I am spending most of my time in bed not eating or moving or doing anything at all
and it's confusing to me, because the greatest problems I am facing currently are school and food shopping (which seems ridiculous at the moment because I am not eating, and it's not even like I am deliberately not eating, I buy the food with the intention of eating and then I get to 2 am and I realize that I haven't had breakfast, lunch or dinner, instead I had 8 cups of coffee and 2 packets of cigarettes instead or something stupid like that)
and it's not even like I am feeling sad either, I am not feeling anything I feel completely and utterly hopeless and lost. I am totally apathetic towards everything and it sucks!
I am meant to be there for my friends if they need me, or my boyfriend (who still insists on NOT talking to me about ANYTHING although he is still quite clearly in that hole he dug himself) but I can't be if all I am doing is lying in bed for 7 months like last time.
I am being beyond ridiculous.