(no subject)
I know I went through that whole heartbroken stage where you feel like you can never love again, and I whined and cried about it on LJ, knowing full well that I was being stupid and ridiculous, but still unable to quell those feelings that I would just never be able to love someone again like I loved The Boy...
But, this weekend, I couldn't hold it back. >.< I was afraid to go that step with Kevin because I feared that once we reached that plateau, something would happen, and I would be hurt all over again. I just did not want to go through that whole situation a second time. >.< Every single time the thought, "I love him..." tried to creep into my head, my mind instantly reverted back to how horrible a broken heart had felt. Well, I told Kevin this weekend that I loved him. I've only felt that way about one other man, The Boy, and I never did tell him. I didn't think such intense feelings would appear so quickly so early in the relationship, because I am definitely NOT one of those girls who can throw that word around like its nothing. I surprised myself, but at the same time, I couldn't lie. Something about him and I just clicks. Soooo, he's officially the first boyfriend/boy-interest I've said "I love you" to and meant it. I just can't help it. XO The great news is, he loves me back. =D
Today, though, he said something really unnerving. Lately, he's been a bit depressed over having trouble finding a job...a real job. He's sent out his resume to a bunch of companies, but hasn't really heard back from any of them. He said that he should enlist and be an engineer for the Air Force. He's talked about that before, but I never really took him seriously. Today, though, I could tell that he meant it. Luckily for me, he doesn't quite fit the weight requirements (bless his heart). xDDD It just unnerves me a bit, because thats what The Boy does, and his being in the Air Force was one of the obstacles that had kept us apart. >.< I know not to judge this relationship by past experience, buuuut, I find it slightly weird nonetheless. xD Damn you Air Force!!
Hooray for having no monies. XO My tips are dwindling. x___x I can't access my Bank of America account yet because I don't have a debit card and checks are so last century. xDDD I guess thats a good thing, because I should be saving as much as I can. I'll be siphoning off a bit of money every paycheck to stick into my savings account. I think I'll have about ten dollars once all my bills go through. Of course, as soon as those checks clear, and I plump up the account a little bit, it will be time to pay rent. xD
I want to go back to school, arrg. I miss it. I miss the theater. I'm going crazy. UGH. Cabin fever or something. >.
But, this weekend, I couldn't hold it back. >.< I was afraid to go that step with Kevin because I feared that once we reached that plateau, something would happen, and I would be hurt all over again. I just did not want to go through that whole situation a second time. >.< Every single time the thought, "I love him..." tried to creep into my head, my mind instantly reverted back to how horrible a broken heart had felt. Well, I told Kevin this weekend that I loved him. I've only felt that way about one other man, The Boy, and I never did tell him. I didn't think such intense feelings would appear so quickly so early in the relationship, because I am definitely NOT one of those girls who can throw that word around like its nothing. I surprised myself, but at the same time, I couldn't lie. Something about him and I just clicks. Soooo, he's officially the first boyfriend/boy-interest I've said "I love you" to and meant it. I just can't help it. XO The great news is, he loves me back. =D
Today, though, he said something really unnerving. Lately, he's been a bit depressed over having trouble finding a job...a real job. He's sent out his resume to a bunch of companies, but hasn't really heard back from any of them. He said that he should enlist and be an engineer for the Air Force. He's talked about that before, but I never really took him seriously. Today, though, I could tell that he meant it. Luckily for me, he doesn't quite fit the weight requirements (bless his heart). xDDD It just unnerves me a bit, because thats what The Boy does, and his being in the Air Force was one of the obstacles that had kept us apart. >.< I know not to judge this relationship by past experience, buuuut, I find it slightly weird nonetheless. xD Damn you Air Force!!
Hooray for having no monies. XO My tips are dwindling. x___x I can't access my Bank of America account yet because I don't have a debit card and checks are so last century. xDDD I guess thats a good thing, because I should be saving as much as I can. I'll be siphoning off a bit of money every paycheck to stick into my savings account. I think I'll have about ten dollars once all my bills go through. Of course, as soon as those checks clear, and I plump up the account a little bit, it will be time to pay rent. xD
I want to go back to school, arrg. I miss it. I miss the theater. I'm going crazy. UGH. Cabin fever or something. >.