For once, a thoroughly negative, whiny post
Because I'm feeling negative, and whiny. So why not share?
I already heard it yesterday, inofficially, and today I got the official confirmation: I didn't get the job I applied for. So yesterday I was, while not exactly in a bad mood, certainly not feeling on top of the world. After taking Rambo to the vet -- 3,11 kg, and he'll be neutered on December, 12 -- I therefore decided to wallow. Which means a bottle of wine, junk food and watching tv. Followed by whisky, more junk food and more tv. It also means that I absolutely don't think about how many calories I actually ingested, because 1) I don't do this often, 2) it was 100% justified, and 3) I'm suffering from a food-and-alcohol hangover today anyway, and can't wait to play badminton at 12.30 with Klaus, to sweat it all out. After work, one of the more hardcore classes at the gym.
So, apart from the short-term consequences, what I have to think about now is the long-term perspective.
I'm not going to leave Vienna within the next two years, that's a given. Partly because I don't want to move again so soon, and partly because next year's list of available places is already out and it was shit. So 2015 is the first possibility, which means I have to think about at least two years. A bit less, considering that the big caroussel usually moves in summer. So let's say 1,5 years.
The question I have to contemplate is, what do I want out of life for the next 1,5 -- maybe 2,5 -- years? Not one of life's trivial questions, certainly. Also because I'll have to be very, very honest with myself about a few things: how much do I *really* mind having the job I currently have? Apart from the boredom, that is. Also, are there ways to make it less boring? (Think writing o-fic at work, for example). Also: does the doubtlessly negative, but perhaps avoidable, boredom outweigh the advantages, like e.g. not having to show up at 8 a.m. on the dot, not having to stay till 4 p.m., going home during lunch break -- these are big advantages also in the money-saving department, because I'm able to do the cleaning myself and can have lunch at home.
Had they given me the job, I wouldn't have needed to think about money overly much; if, on the other hand, I merely apply for a transfer to another, more interesting job in a different department, I might be exchanging the frying pan for the fire: the job might be more interesting, but not necessarily come with better payment, which means I'd land myself in a situation where I don't have more money but considerably fewer possibilities for saving money.
Besides, there aren't *that* many interesting jobs to be had at this ministry; of course, from the perspective of terminal boredom even toilet-cleaning looks attractive, but what about three months into the new job? It wouldn't look so shiny anymore, and then it's be difficult to ask for yet another transfer, and then I'd really be up the proverbial shit creek.
So, wouldn't the really clever thing to do be this: stick it out till next summer. Next summer another interesting job will become available -- it's one I've held before, i.e. head of the visa department, but at least this way I know I like it. Apply for it. If I get it, fine, end of trouble. If I don't, not so fine, but then I can still a) apply for transfer within the ministry (easier because that's the time the caroussel moves), or b) wait another two or three months until the list for 2015 comes out and apply for a function abroad, or c) not give a shit because I'm writing my second novel.
Apart from the fact that my employers and boss are complete idiots for letting my qualifications and motivation go to waste, which is deplorable but can't be changed, I'll also have to admit to myself that my attitude is part of the problem. Part of my own problem, that is. Being clever, willing to work, and qualified doesn't automatically entitle me to a job I want, or The Perfect Job. Not within this system, anyway. Of course I'm feeling disappointed, which is absolutely ok, but feeling forever disappointed doesn't make things better or me happier. On the contrary. So I'll have to work through these negative feelings -- by myself or with help from outside if necessary -- and develop an attitude which, while not suppressing any justified, negative feelings which are bound to come up every now and then, makes it possible for me to enjoy what I've got. I think that bringing creativity into the equation would be excellent -- why not use the time I've got on my hands here and write that o-fic, or that screenplay I've always wanted to write? Or go back to the idea of getting a degree?
Ahem. This negative, whiny post is turning into something positive. OMG. My glass-half-full, optimistic side is as tough as a cockroach, really.
So I'll finish this post with a little more whining, merely to keep the subject line's promise:
I am, by and large, a supporter of the EU. Greatest peace project ever, liberty of movement, bla-bla, etc.etc.
BUT: now they are considering a new regulation forbidding vacuum cleaners stronger than 1600 W, as a first step, and later on 900 W. To make people save energy. Really? REALLY????? Why not put creativity and money into finding a way of doing away with stand-by LED-lights on electronic devices, which consume enormous amounts of electricity (not individually, but as a whole, in the whole EU) but are no use at all? (Just to name one example) Of course, the people who came up with this cretinous idea probably haven't handled a vacuum cleaner in decades, if ever, and are therefore not aware that you need a powerful v.c. if, e.g., you have children and/or pets and/or carpet floors. Allergies are on the increase -- do we really want to spent billions on health care, because less/worse domestic hygiene will surely lead to more people needing medication? Or will there be another regulation forbidding carpet floors and pets? Children, too, maybe? Oh, or maybe we could have another regulation stipulating that from now on one partner (preferably the woman of course) mustn't work, so they can stay home all day, sweeping with a broom, which takes care, in one fell swoop, of the hygiene problem *and* unemployment?!
Stupidity, thy name is Brussels...
I already heard it yesterday, inofficially, and today I got the official confirmation: I didn't get the job I applied for. So yesterday I was, while not exactly in a bad mood, certainly not feeling on top of the world. After taking Rambo to the vet -- 3,11 kg, and he'll be neutered on December, 12 -- I therefore decided to wallow. Which means a bottle of wine, junk food and watching tv. Followed by whisky, more junk food and more tv. It also means that I absolutely don't think about how many calories I actually ingested, because 1) I don't do this often, 2) it was 100% justified, and 3) I'm suffering from a food-and-alcohol hangover today anyway, and can't wait to play badminton at 12.30 with Klaus, to sweat it all out. After work, one of the more hardcore classes at the gym.
So, apart from the short-term consequences, what I have to think about now is the long-term perspective.
I'm not going to leave Vienna within the next two years, that's a given. Partly because I don't want to move again so soon, and partly because next year's list of available places is already out and it was shit. So 2015 is the first possibility, which means I have to think about at least two years. A bit less, considering that the big caroussel usually moves in summer. So let's say 1,5 years.
The question I have to contemplate is, what do I want out of life for the next 1,5 -- maybe 2,5 -- years? Not one of life's trivial questions, certainly. Also because I'll have to be very, very honest with myself about a few things: how much do I *really* mind having the job I currently have? Apart from the boredom, that is. Also, are there ways to make it less boring? (Think writing o-fic at work, for example). Also: does the doubtlessly negative, but perhaps avoidable, boredom outweigh the advantages, like e.g. not having to show up at 8 a.m. on the dot, not having to stay till 4 p.m., going home during lunch break -- these are big advantages also in the money-saving department, because I'm able to do the cleaning myself and can have lunch at home.
Had they given me the job, I wouldn't have needed to think about money overly much; if, on the other hand, I merely apply for a transfer to another, more interesting job in a different department, I might be exchanging the frying pan for the fire: the job might be more interesting, but not necessarily come with better payment, which means I'd land myself in a situation where I don't have more money but considerably fewer possibilities for saving money.
Besides, there aren't *that* many interesting jobs to be had at this ministry; of course, from the perspective of terminal boredom even toilet-cleaning looks attractive, but what about three months into the new job? It wouldn't look so shiny anymore, and then it's be difficult to ask for yet another transfer, and then I'd really be up the proverbial shit creek.
So, wouldn't the really clever thing to do be this: stick it out till next summer. Next summer another interesting job will become available -- it's one I've held before, i.e. head of the visa department, but at least this way I know I like it. Apply for it. If I get it, fine, end of trouble. If I don't, not so fine, but then I can still a) apply for transfer within the ministry (easier because that's the time the caroussel moves), or b) wait another two or three months until the list for 2015 comes out and apply for a function abroad, or c) not give a shit because I'm writing my second novel.
Apart from the fact that my employers and boss are complete idiots for letting my qualifications and motivation go to waste, which is deplorable but can't be changed, I'll also have to admit to myself that my attitude is part of the problem. Part of my own problem, that is. Being clever, willing to work, and qualified doesn't automatically entitle me to a job I want, or The Perfect Job. Not within this system, anyway. Of course I'm feeling disappointed, which is absolutely ok, but feeling forever disappointed doesn't make things better or me happier. On the contrary. So I'll have to work through these negative feelings -- by myself or with help from outside if necessary -- and develop an attitude which, while not suppressing any justified, negative feelings which are bound to come up every now and then, makes it possible for me to enjoy what I've got. I think that bringing creativity into the equation would be excellent -- why not use the time I've got on my hands here and write that o-fic, or that screenplay I've always wanted to write? Or go back to the idea of getting a degree?
Ahem. This negative, whiny post is turning into something positive. OMG. My glass-half-full, optimistic side is as tough as a cockroach, really.
So I'll finish this post with a little more whining, merely to keep the subject line's promise:
I am, by and large, a supporter of the EU. Greatest peace project ever, liberty of movement, bla-bla, etc.etc.
BUT: now they are considering a new regulation forbidding vacuum cleaners stronger than 1600 W, as a first step, and later on 900 W. To make people save energy. Really? REALLY????? Why not put creativity and money into finding a way of doing away with stand-by LED-lights on electronic devices, which consume enormous amounts of electricity (not individually, but as a whole, in the whole EU) but are no use at all? (Just to name one example) Of course, the people who came up with this cretinous idea probably haven't handled a vacuum cleaner in decades, if ever, and are therefore not aware that you need a powerful v.c. if, e.g., you have children and/or pets and/or carpet floors. Allergies are on the increase -- do we really want to spent billions on health care, because less/worse domestic hygiene will surely lead to more people needing medication? Or will there be another regulation forbidding carpet floors and pets? Children, too, maybe? Oh, or maybe we could have another regulation stipulating that from now on one partner (preferably the woman of course) mustn't work, so they can stay home all day, sweeping with a broom, which takes care, in one fell swoop, of the hygiene problem *and* unemployment?!
Stupidity, thy name is Brussels...