Weather Channel
Another pissy day in the hood. Always messes with my mood. I tried to go inside, meditate, pray
find the compass for the day. The whole damn thing eludes me sometimes. Today is one of those days.
I hate a crowded beach
The sun started spotting through the clouds around 1p so I gathered what was left of me and proceeded to go get some sunshine. By the time I hit the door, the sun was gone, as quick as it came. I went out anyway. Being that it's Sunday, I missed the fellow I intended to show my progress on the marketing banner design to him. I will have to see him tomorrow. I got the background done and am starting to draw up characters to place into the scene. The scene is of his storefront done in cartoon fashion with examples of the things he sells, to use as a banner in a festival tent he has to promote his wares visually.
So I drove past the usual haunts and ended up at the beach area where I spent most of the past 20 plus years. In spite of the cold wind, cloud and threat of rain, the local tourists were out in droves. No parking space anywhere in the beach area. There are summer crowds today, wandering about looking for something to do beyond their imprisonment at home. Some businesses are half open, selling mostly takeout. Social distancing is in effect and masks are mandatory for workers, but optional for public, provided you are safe distancing. There were people on the water in wet suits, boats and seadoo's paddling and sailing. People like to come here because it's not commercial. The parking lots were full and truly I didn't see the attraction of freezing my ass off in the cold waiting for the second wave, it's just not me.
I began to reminisce of all the time I'd spent living in the area, the places I would go to draw from nature, the places that I worked, doing graphic design and teaching art, curating local art exhibits. Those days are long gone. Today I find myself hard pressed to know just what to do from day to day. I've gone from being free, full of opportunity, to feeling down trodden and oppressed, by all the changes in this nest. It feels like time has robbed me of the nature, which I used to enjoy every day. It's different living at the beach and deciding what to do with your day, than to wake up and decide to go to the beach for an hour or for the day. In the first instance, you are the beach, the beach is you and you belong. There is a place for you in the scheme of things. In the second, you are just a visitor, foreigner passing through, noticing fleeting things that you may not remember tomorrow.
So, no place to park. I just drove the area trying to get through all the congestion and out, not able to get near the coffee house or stop to go for a walk. There are bad feelings too, around the place we had our business for 12 years before the rents were jacked up 40%. At the other beach a long standing local gelato had a 25% rent increase and is closing for good. This is the measure of progress. Fucking concrete blocks of prison cells reaching to the sky, some with a view.. But down on the ground, nothing to do. Well I could have tried the farmer's market like I did last week, but the novelty has worn off already, and there really wasn't much to do there either, surround by high rise construction. The new buildings have created a wind tunnel through the area, so that I can't stay long in the wind. It's very uninviting.
I went back to the area where we now live and got a coffee at SB's. The barista fucked up the espresso and turned it into laté. It's so hard to find good help these days. I din't go back to fix it, because he was a slowpoke and a line had formed behind me, complicating his confused distress. At the moment, life truly sucks. Sunday is not very sunny or cheerful. In the back of all our minds are the events unfolding around the world. Mass protests, for what, I know not. Like we have any choice except anarchy right now? Think about it.
I finally got an email response for teaching drawing, to say that they will remain closed for the summer, so I am not teaching until fall. That's why I'm looking for graphic projects to supplement PT income adding to my disability, which doesn't even cover rent.
So I'll pour that shit cup of coffee down the drain, drink some water to get the taste of sour milk out of my mouth and draw some characters for the graphic projects I'm working on. I don't feel very close to God at the moment. I don't know what it is I want, or what I should be doing. Everything seems so nebulous, elusive and meaningless.
Meaningless control of the infinite universe..
.
find the compass for the day. The whole damn thing eludes me sometimes. Today is one of those days.
I hate a crowded beach
The sun started spotting through the clouds around 1p so I gathered what was left of me and proceeded to go get some sunshine. By the time I hit the door, the sun was gone, as quick as it came. I went out anyway. Being that it's Sunday, I missed the fellow I intended to show my progress on the marketing banner design to him. I will have to see him tomorrow. I got the background done and am starting to draw up characters to place into the scene. The scene is of his storefront done in cartoon fashion with examples of the things he sells, to use as a banner in a festival tent he has to promote his wares visually.
So I drove past the usual haunts and ended up at the beach area where I spent most of the past 20 plus years. In spite of the cold wind, cloud and threat of rain, the local tourists were out in droves. No parking space anywhere in the beach area. There are summer crowds today, wandering about looking for something to do beyond their imprisonment at home. Some businesses are half open, selling mostly takeout. Social distancing is in effect and masks are mandatory for workers, but optional for public, provided you are safe distancing. There were people on the water in wet suits, boats and seadoo's paddling and sailing. People like to come here because it's not commercial. The parking lots were full and truly I didn't see the attraction of freezing my ass off in the cold waiting for the second wave, it's just not me.
I began to reminisce of all the time I'd spent living in the area, the places I would go to draw from nature, the places that I worked, doing graphic design and teaching art, curating local art exhibits. Those days are long gone. Today I find myself hard pressed to know just what to do from day to day. I've gone from being free, full of opportunity, to feeling down trodden and oppressed, by all the changes in this nest. It feels like time has robbed me of the nature, which I used to enjoy every day. It's different living at the beach and deciding what to do with your day, than to wake up and decide to go to the beach for an hour or for the day. In the first instance, you are the beach, the beach is you and you belong. There is a place for you in the scheme of things. In the second, you are just a visitor, foreigner passing through, noticing fleeting things that you may not remember tomorrow.
So, no place to park. I just drove the area trying to get through all the congestion and out, not able to get near the coffee house or stop to go for a walk. There are bad feelings too, around the place we had our business for 12 years before the rents were jacked up 40%. At the other beach a long standing local gelato had a 25% rent increase and is closing for good. This is the measure of progress. Fucking concrete blocks of prison cells reaching to the sky, some with a view.. But down on the ground, nothing to do. Well I could have tried the farmer's market like I did last week, but the novelty has worn off already, and there really wasn't much to do there either, surround by high rise construction. The new buildings have created a wind tunnel through the area, so that I can't stay long in the wind. It's very uninviting.
I went back to the area where we now live and got a coffee at SB's. The barista fucked up the espresso and turned it into laté. It's so hard to find good help these days. I din't go back to fix it, because he was a slowpoke and a line had formed behind me, complicating his confused distress. At the moment, life truly sucks. Sunday is not very sunny or cheerful. In the back of all our minds are the events unfolding around the world. Mass protests, for what, I know not. Like we have any choice except anarchy right now? Think about it.
I finally got an email response for teaching drawing, to say that they will remain closed for the summer, so I am not teaching until fall. That's why I'm looking for graphic projects to supplement PT income adding to my disability, which doesn't even cover rent.
So I'll pour that shit cup of coffee down the drain, drink some water to get the taste of sour milk out of my mouth and draw some characters for the graphic projects I'm working on. I don't feel very close to God at the moment. I don't know what it is I want, or what I should be doing. Everything seems so nebulous, elusive and meaningless.
Meaningless control of the infinite universe..
.