not sleeping...
not sleeping right again. or at least last night i didnt. woke up when jedi came to bed. which was probably only about a half hour after me. but i musta been in some of his bed space cuz he was annoyed at me and pushing me over. which woke me up :P then later when i finally managed to sleep again, i woke up from a nightmare i was having.
all i remember is everything was kinda in sepia color. someone was in this friends apt with me and on the phone. so i couldnt use the phone. tho i was anxious to use it for whatever reason. they finally got off the phone. but all i remember after that was i was now in the house alone and watching tv. the tv was close to me in front of me- like a small 15" tv. plugged into the wall outlet next to the couch i was on. suddenly a loud Bang and flash of light blow up on the side of the couch- basically the socket is overloaded or somehow got wet and blew. but the tv still worked and the lamp by the couch was still on. suddenly tho its turning dark out. dusk is approaching. and everything is really in browns and sepia now. the room is pretty bare cept for the couch and tv and lamp. the curtain on the big picture window is sepia browns and heavy- like burlap... i look out and notice i'm in a cul-de-sac. there are many of these electricity blow outs in the same socket. (yeah how does that happen more than once in real life i dont know but this is dreamworld where anything goes)... so there are a ton of these blowouts, and with each one i get freaked out! course i'm not going near the socket to investigate and yet i'm not preventing it either by turning anything off. (shrug) anyway. i finally get off the couch and take the tv over to the other side of the room- under the picture window. i sit on the floor. and the last blowout goes and cuts all the lights. so recalling that its dusk and the sun is setting pretty quick, i realize this isnt a good thing. yes, the tv is still working. so i sit closer to the tv for comfort. but dont like this at all. so i call the police and ask their advice on what i should do. since i dont feel safe in this house anymore- being all dark and no light source or anything. and outside looks almost abandoned- no one out on the streets or kids playing or anything. suddenly a blue suv or van shows up. only thing in color mind u. i try to slowly pull the curtain so they cant see in. but realizing its my only, albeit short amount, of light coming thru i dont like that idea of sealing myself into darkness with only the tv as my light. so i'm on the phone with police still and just end up asking then what i should do, they tell me something (cant remember that detail now) and feeling utter fear inside, i am starting to panic. i know the car outside is a BAD BAD thing... its the only thing in color in my dream, and aside from them the street outside is deserted.... panic and fear are the only friends i have at this moment... this is where my brain finally shuts down tho and wakes me up... my heart is beating outside my chest.
i wake up and make sure jedi is still next to me. he is thankfully. but after a nightmare i never want to go back to sleep for fear of continuing the nightmare... eventually i did go back to sleep...
then i woke up again after another wierd but not nightmare dream. that was probably about 5:30/6ish... but i mangaed to kinda sleep a lil more til the alarm at 7ish...
but i woke up exhausted and tired... i need to stop the stress in my life... too many things i worry about outside my control. even outside of me. i worry about my friends and their situations and problems too. but thats what friends do. i dont mind it. its part of being a friend. but i think sometimes i let it get to me too much. i make their problems my own. which is bad. not sur how to handle this. its just i've always been the caretaker so i'm used to having other peoples problems be my own. like a mother takes on their kids problms. yeah not sure what else i can say on this subject. its pretty self explanitory...
ok well back to work for a lil while at least... planning on going to bbby during my lunch break with another coworker. crossing my fingers that they have the albums i want!!! lol
ok done for now. thanks for reading and listening again...
all i remember is everything was kinda in sepia color. someone was in this friends apt with me and on the phone. so i couldnt use the phone. tho i was anxious to use it for whatever reason. they finally got off the phone. but all i remember after that was i was now in the house alone and watching tv. the tv was close to me in front of me- like a small 15" tv. plugged into the wall outlet next to the couch i was on. suddenly a loud Bang and flash of light blow up on the side of the couch- basically the socket is overloaded or somehow got wet and blew. but the tv still worked and the lamp by the couch was still on. suddenly tho its turning dark out. dusk is approaching. and everything is really in browns and sepia now. the room is pretty bare cept for the couch and tv and lamp. the curtain on the big picture window is sepia browns and heavy- like burlap... i look out and notice i'm in a cul-de-sac. there are many of these electricity blow outs in the same socket. (yeah how does that happen more than once in real life i dont know but this is dreamworld where anything goes)... so there are a ton of these blowouts, and with each one i get freaked out! course i'm not going near the socket to investigate and yet i'm not preventing it either by turning anything off. (shrug) anyway. i finally get off the couch and take the tv over to the other side of the room- under the picture window. i sit on the floor. and the last blowout goes and cuts all the lights. so recalling that its dusk and the sun is setting pretty quick, i realize this isnt a good thing. yes, the tv is still working. so i sit closer to the tv for comfort. but dont like this at all. so i call the police and ask their advice on what i should do. since i dont feel safe in this house anymore- being all dark and no light source or anything. and outside looks almost abandoned- no one out on the streets or kids playing or anything. suddenly a blue suv or van shows up. only thing in color mind u. i try to slowly pull the curtain so they cant see in. but realizing its my only, albeit short amount, of light coming thru i dont like that idea of sealing myself into darkness with only the tv as my light. so i'm on the phone with police still and just end up asking then what i should do, they tell me something (cant remember that detail now) and feeling utter fear inside, i am starting to panic. i know the car outside is a BAD BAD thing... its the only thing in color in my dream, and aside from them the street outside is deserted.... panic and fear are the only friends i have at this moment... this is where my brain finally shuts down tho and wakes me up... my heart is beating outside my chest.
i wake up and make sure jedi is still next to me. he is thankfully. but after a nightmare i never want to go back to sleep for fear of continuing the nightmare... eventually i did go back to sleep...
then i woke up again after another wierd but not nightmare dream. that was probably about 5:30/6ish... but i mangaed to kinda sleep a lil more til the alarm at 7ish...
but i woke up exhausted and tired... i need to stop the stress in my life... too many things i worry about outside my control. even outside of me. i worry about my friends and their situations and problems too. but thats what friends do. i dont mind it. its part of being a friend. but i think sometimes i let it get to me too much. i make their problems my own. which is bad. not sur how to handle this. its just i've always been the caretaker so i'm used to having other peoples problems be my own. like a mother takes on their kids problms. yeah not sure what else i can say on this subject. its pretty self explanitory...
ok well back to work for a lil while at least... planning on going to bbby during my lunch break with another coworker. crossing my fingers that they have the albums i want!!! lol
ok done for now. thanks for reading and listening again...