(no subject)
today should have been the day to relax.. but i was stupid and told my boss i would work.. so i was up by 9:30, got my haircut, went straight to work for 5 hours, and then went straight to dance for 2 hours. im pretty tired. i went out for a bit.. just kicked it with a few people.. it was alright.. but i started thinking too much.
garrett makes a good point. the difference between leaders and nonleaders is the decisions we make. which makes me feel like complete crap. i know im a pretty good girl and all that, but i dont approve of myself. i think thats why i started drinking.. cuz it makes me forget who i really am. thats pretty sad if you ask me. i hate who i am, i hate the things ive done, i hate how im struggling to get into state colleges when i know im capable of getting into those top notch schools. i hate how depressed i am, and i hate a lot of my friendships. im kind of ashamed of myself. this really isnt me.
on top of this all, i miss my best friend.. and if its even possible, my boobs are getting smaller!
yes tiffany isnt so happy right now.
buttttt.. at least im coming to some realizations. i know my flaws. im gonna work on fixing them. im gonna work on being the best friend i should be.. and giving him what he deserves, and cleaning up the rest of my relationships. its gonna be sooo much work. but i hope it will be worth it.
shouldnt depression be gone by now? maybe its the sucky weather.
well kids, im off to bed. ill probably end up deleting this post anyways. gnite.