kan3
ling3 wu4. ge1 diao4.
***
Update: Thursday, 11/17, 0423 hrs PST
I've made a terrible judgment call. At the risk of sounding a trifle melodramatic, what happens over the next 30-odd days will determine the course of my future; yet I've allowed myself to be distracted by trivialities. Or rather, what will come to be regarded as trivialities given time. The human mind is a curious thing; sometimes we focus so intently on the things that happen in the present that all considerations for the future fade away from cognition. Rejection is hard enough to handle; juxtaposed with betrayal on not one, but two fronts, it is more than anybody should be made to bear. I think I've been foolishly accomodating for long enough at considerable personal cost. I refuse to be crippled any more. Anger is a wonderful thing, for with its arrival and passing comes epiphany: none of this matters; you don't matter. The unfurling of recent events, the tactlessness, the utter lack of consideration, the broken promises and the endless posturing have convinced me of this truth. Numb and excise - I suppose that leaves you unconstrained to do as you will. I hope what you did was worthwhile; for some things, once traded away, can never be traded back.
***
Update: Thursday, 11/17, 0423 hrs PST
I've made a terrible judgment call. At the risk of sounding a trifle melodramatic, what happens over the next 30-odd days will determine the course of my future; yet I've allowed myself to be distracted by trivialities. Or rather, what will come to be regarded as trivialities given time. The human mind is a curious thing; sometimes we focus so intently on the things that happen in the present that all considerations for the future fade away from cognition. Rejection is hard enough to handle; juxtaposed with betrayal on not one, but two fronts, it is more than anybody should be made to bear. I think I've been foolishly accomodating for long enough at considerable personal cost. I refuse to be crippled any more. Anger is a wonderful thing, for with its arrival and passing comes epiphany: none of this matters; you don't matter. The unfurling of recent events, the tactlessness, the utter lack of consideration, the broken promises and the endless posturing have convinced me of this truth. Numb and excise - I suppose that leaves you unconstrained to do as you will. I hope what you did was worthwhile; for some things, once traded away, can never be traded back.