Entry No. 2 - Be My Friend?
This is my 2nd livejournal post...I seriously think that no one is reading my post since I'm not an interesting person....close to boring...
I've always wondered...why can't I have friends?....not that I don't....I have friends in uni...I think my new meaning of friends is just my lab partner and another girl in my korean tutorial...wow...I'm the most pathetic person on earth...I have 5 closest friend since secondary school...but we are bound to find our own friends when we left secondary school...I get that...that's why I'm so jealous they can make friends so easily...
What does friends in Facebook mean anyway?...the more the better?...or just as decoration....sorry for the word choice...it's not that we'll have a normal conversation...it's more like to show other people "Look, I've got this many friends in Facebook"....I think it's rather sad
For me the meaning of 'friends' changed as I grow up...during primary school I've wanted to have as many friends as possible so I'd be good to everybody...that one thought caused my greatest fear in human...I've been back stabbed by that same people i think as friend...so since then I've slowly built up a wall...but things changed in secondary school...I've met the 5 greatest people who now became the closest friend I've ever had..then I came to Melbourne...did foundation studies...stayed in a place which I silently dislike...then came to uni...I'm glad I did not get into the uni I initially wanted...last year I stayed with the person I thought I could get along with but turns out...I have not idea what she told her friend back home about me...that friend of hers wrote me a warning letter through Facebook stating that I should love and treat her the way those people back home treat her because everybody loves her and threaten to come to me if I tell about the warning and didn't do as told...and so what I did...I apologised and I have no idea what I apologised for and said that my friend would do the same...now that I think about it...my friend will not to the same...surely...my friend will just listen to what I said then they'll give some advice to me or they'll just listen
If maybe I'd be a little more proactive I could at least make a friend or 2 in uni...but I don't think I can...I can never start a conversation with people...how I become friend with those 5 people is beyond me...I believe that is a miracle
I've always wondered...why can't I have friends?....not that I don't....I have friends in uni...I think my new meaning of friends is just my lab partner and another girl in my korean tutorial...wow...I'm the most pathetic person on earth...I have 5 closest friend since secondary school...but we are bound to find our own friends when we left secondary school...I get that...that's why I'm so jealous they can make friends so easily...
What does friends in Facebook mean anyway?...the more the better?...or just as decoration....sorry for the word choice...it's not that we'll have a normal conversation...it's more like to show other people "Look, I've got this many friends in Facebook"....I think it's rather sad
For me the meaning of 'friends' changed as I grow up...during primary school I've wanted to have as many friends as possible so I'd be good to everybody...that one thought caused my greatest fear in human...I've been back stabbed by that same people i think as friend...so since then I've slowly built up a wall...but things changed in secondary school...I've met the 5 greatest people who now became the closest friend I've ever had..then I came to Melbourne...did foundation studies...stayed in a place which I silently dislike...then came to uni...I'm glad I did not get into the uni I initially wanted...last year I stayed with the person I thought I could get along with but turns out...I have not idea what she told her friend back home about me...that friend of hers wrote me a warning letter through Facebook stating that I should love and treat her the way those people back home treat her because everybody loves her and threaten to come to me if I tell about the warning and didn't do as told...and so what I did...I apologised and I have no idea what I apologised for and said that my friend would do the same...now that I think about it...my friend will not to the same...surely...my friend will just listen to what I said then they'll give some advice to me or they'll just listen
If maybe I'd be a little more proactive I could at least make a friend or 2 in uni...but I don't think I can...I can never start a conversation with people...how I become friend with those 5 people is beyond me...I believe that is a miracle