Monday: Last Day of 2007 (continued)
21:11 I don't feel I deserve the awesome NYE that the family celebration is. Fucking B-Day deja vue. The lights went out for 10 minutes an hour ago. What a refreshing change. I hoped they don't turn on. No TV bullshit, no lights, just candles, people and the New Year. I wanted to shower so much and now we're out of hot water. I'll have to heat it up myself. Where? On the kitchen stove, actually. To be clean for the NY 2008.
Why do I think of New York? Why am I so irritated by Mom and Dad? *sighs* I just don't feel it. Don't feel the holiday, don't feel special or worthwhile. A fucking b-day deja vue. I want to rant about all the shit that's going down right now, but its so blunt, I wont even bother. Instead, the good thing is that I'm changing my life for the New Year again. I did it again. I'm doing it again. That I'm proud of. Mind you, its a gradual change too. Experience points +1. Relief thru experience, no way I'm looking for that in my life. I don't want relief, b/c what I feel is meant for me. I will and want to endure. This way up, my way of endurance, my type of preference. What I mean to say is that when someone would look from aside, he wouldn't even call it that. The point? The point is I ain't looking for approvals from aside to live this life.
22:18 I showered and finally found peace. I'm slicing cheese. I'm contributing to the overall celebration). Bob's calling. He found me pen and lighter I've been missing. Good, I did endure. Childhood and Bob are up to something. I can hear Bob's already smoked up. Childhood has likely smoked up with him as well, but is going to this high class club w/ his chica. Enough speculation. I'm happy to hear friends.)
Its the last page of me paperback.
Its the last line of it. I got 2 more)
Why do I think of New York? Why am I so irritated by Mom and Dad? *sighs* I just don't feel it. Don't feel the holiday, don't feel special or worthwhile. A fucking b-day deja vue. I want to rant about all the shit that's going down right now, but its so blunt, I wont even bother. Instead, the good thing is that I'm changing my life for the New Year again. I did it again. I'm doing it again. That I'm proud of. Mind you, its a gradual change too. Experience points +1. Relief thru experience, no way I'm looking for that in my life. I don't want relief, b/c what I feel is meant for me. I will and want to endure. This way up, my way of endurance, my type of preference. What I mean to say is that when someone would look from aside, he wouldn't even call it that. The point? The point is I ain't looking for approvals from aside to live this life.
22:18 I showered and finally found peace. I'm slicing cheese. I'm contributing to the overall celebration). Bob's calling. He found me pen and lighter I've been missing. Good, I did endure. Childhood and Bob are up to something. I can hear Bob's already smoked up. Childhood has likely smoked up with him as well, but is going to this high class club w/ his chica. Enough speculation. I'm happy to hear friends.)
Its the last page of me paperback.
Its the last line of it. I got 2 more)