I don't want to sleep angry
2/17/2006
For some reason I was in a really bad mood tonight. I don't really know what was wrong though. Everytime someone said something I thought it was stupid and it took a lot of self-control not to criticize and torment everyone around me. I wanted to argue with the entire world. Just scream at someone. Degrade them and show them how small, insignificant, and pathetic they were. Well you should know that I held myself back and was only mildly confrontational. I got so mad and frustrated though. People would ask me questions like "are you ok?" or "are you sad?" and in that situation I wanted to kill everyone that said it. No offence guys, I know you were just trying to help. I have been here for six weeks, going to classes that are beneath me, away from Leah, away from my family, eating bad food and having horrible class times and I never have had a bad day untill now. Some people have had bad days about once a week if not more. And I put up with them. I don't try to tell them how to be in a good mood because I know they don't want to hear it. And now I have one day, just one in six weeks and everyone is all over me. Come on, one stinkin' day of misery is all I ask. One evening where I'm confrontational and arrogant and sarcastic and critical. All you have to do is ignore me and don't get in my way. That's it! Whatever.
I miss you Leah.
If you post a negative comment here I will kill you. Like with death and stuff.
For some reason I was in a really bad mood tonight. I don't really know what was wrong though. Everytime someone said something I thought it was stupid and it took a lot of self-control not to criticize and torment everyone around me. I wanted to argue with the entire world. Just scream at someone. Degrade them and show them how small, insignificant, and pathetic they were. Well you should know that I held myself back and was only mildly confrontational. I got so mad and frustrated though. People would ask me questions like "are you ok?" or "are you sad?" and in that situation I wanted to kill everyone that said it. No offence guys, I know you were just trying to help. I have been here for six weeks, going to classes that are beneath me, away from Leah, away from my family, eating bad food and having horrible class times and I never have had a bad day untill now. Some people have had bad days about once a week if not more. And I put up with them. I don't try to tell them how to be in a good mood because I know they don't want to hear it. And now I have one day, just one in six weeks and everyone is all over me. Come on, one stinkin' day of misery is all I ask. One evening where I'm confrontational and arrogant and sarcastic and critical. All you have to do is ignore me and don't get in my way. That's it! Whatever.
I miss you Leah.
If you post a negative comment here I will kill you. Like with death and stuff.