(no subject)
hmm. havent updated in a long time. well, im PMSing, and you know what THAT means...! being extremely emotional! well Nigel made me cry 3 times yesterday (NOT the sad kinda, the happy 'i love you' kind) and he was like omg, stop bleeding already! ugh, sorry, ill spare you the bloody vagina talk.
so yea, i realized, with the help of all the authority figures that are in charge of me, that i have never in my life done so well as i am doing now. I almost cant believe it. My therapist, Cindy, was like "Gina, your doing so well! you have a job, straight A's, and an awesome bf!". true. And i really dont want to leave this, but lately i have been missing home alot more, again. reading everyones xangas and livejournals, and finally getting in touch with Virgil, my old smoke buddy, really made me miss the COT. But i love Nigel to no end, he is almost perfect. I was always worried that i would always end up with and be attracted to assholes (b/c of the statistic, that has so far been damn near true, that abused girls always end up with or are attracted to mean men like their fathers, subconciously). But Nigel is so far from that, hes awesome and i get this insane feeling with him that i just cant describe b/c of its intensity and b/c i dont wanna feel like a retard to whoever actually reads this thing.
Had my chest x rayed today. and on thursday i have an EKG and a heart sonogram, or something like that. their giving me all these tests and sending me to a cardiologist b/c of those pesky chest pains that shoot down my arm and now sometimes make me short of breath. Nigel is all worried and i like to mess with him and be like "heh, i got 6 months left, sweetie". then he gets all like "No! im gunna go before you do... IN THE ARMY!" (cuz i hate the fact that he wants to be a 101 airborn ranger, which means he is going to jump out of planes with a parachute for a living for the rest of his life). then i look at him all sad like and he says "fine, we can die together in our sleep" heh. hes the cutest.
so yea, i realized, with the help of all the authority figures that are in charge of me, that i have never in my life done so well as i am doing now. I almost cant believe it. My therapist, Cindy, was like "Gina, your doing so well! you have a job, straight A's, and an awesome bf!". true. And i really dont want to leave this, but lately i have been missing home alot more, again. reading everyones xangas and livejournals, and finally getting in touch with Virgil, my old smoke buddy, really made me miss the COT. But i love Nigel to no end, he is almost perfect. I was always worried that i would always end up with and be attracted to assholes (b/c of the statistic, that has so far been damn near true, that abused girls always end up with or are attracted to mean men like their fathers, subconciously). But Nigel is so far from that, hes awesome and i get this insane feeling with him that i just cant describe b/c of its intensity and b/c i dont wanna feel like a retard to whoever actually reads this thing.
Had my chest x rayed today. and on thursday i have an EKG and a heart sonogram, or something like that. their giving me all these tests and sending me to a cardiologist b/c of those pesky chest pains that shoot down my arm and now sometimes make me short of breath. Nigel is all worried and i like to mess with him and be like "heh, i got 6 months left, sweetie". then he gets all like "No! im gunna go before you do... IN THE ARMY!" (cuz i hate the fact that he wants to be a 101 airborn ranger, which means he is going to jump out of planes with a parachute for a living for the rest of his life). then i look at him all sad like and he says "fine, we can die together in our sleep" heh. hes the cutest.