im back mofos!!
well its been a long time since i got to write in here...eh. thanks to john barone, make a long story short, he abandonded me at my social workers office, DCFS (department of children and family services) had to put me in a shelter for about a month, a really shitty shithole in a crappy part of LA. im now im a group home in santa ana, but its not bad at all. its NOTHING like other group homes, i consider myself really lucky to be here. there is internet, unlimited incoming calls, unlimited outgoing if you have a phonecard, all the food you can eat (good shit too, none of that cheap crap most foster homes and group homes buy), all the girls here are awesome too. i feel good here..althought i do miss the shit out of torrance and everyone back home, you all know who you are.
i feel like half the suffering is over. i feel somewhat relieved b/c john barone and steve cant hurt me anymore, i have clothes now, a WARM place to stay, a comfortable bed, food, communication devices whenever i want, limited freedom. this is great. hopefully ill be at carolyns (godmother) next weekend (v day weekend). i know this sounds gay, and im a fucktard for even thinking this prolly, i mean we arent even together or anywhere near that (unfortunately), but i really really really wanna see Brad on v day. i know nothing will happen cuz im not that lucky, and about 3% of the time he actually shows a little of the interest he says he has. But just being around him will make me feel a little warmer inside. i have tried and tried and tried for him, i gave up all substances, my guages and tongue ring (he said he didnt mind the tongue so i put that one back in, and this place lets me have it), all these b/c Brad doesnt like that stuff. i think we could be happy together but hes..well i dont know why hes not doing anything. i mean yea im far away right now but i have waited a long time, and if he doesnt do something by this coming sunday (day after v day) im going to go back to being just friends with him, ill somehow find a way to force myself to rid all "feelings" for him. there are some ppl who think hes an ass, and when i first met him i thought he was the biggest prick ever, but i got to know him, and there is a part of Brad alot of ppl dont see. underneath it all hes purely amazing and i want to be his.
since i got such a good report from that shelter i was at, and i came so clean with my social worker about so much stuff she is starting to have alot of trust in me, and shes searching for foster homes in or close to the torrance area. I should be home soon =-D. Now that im sober and plan to stay that way no matter what (except for of course a few drunken escapades at a maximum of 2-3 times a month), i can do the CHSPE, get done with school by may or june. im looking for a job this whole week starting tomorrow, things are looking good with life right now. so far...i just want one more thing and everything will be damn near flawless. those who know me know what or who that is
i feel like half the suffering is over. i feel somewhat relieved b/c john barone and steve cant hurt me anymore, i have clothes now, a WARM place to stay, a comfortable bed, food, communication devices whenever i want, limited freedom. this is great. hopefully ill be at carolyns (godmother) next weekend (v day weekend). i know this sounds gay, and im a fucktard for even thinking this prolly, i mean we arent even together or anywhere near that (unfortunately), but i really really really wanna see Brad on v day. i know nothing will happen cuz im not that lucky, and about 3% of the time he actually shows a little of the interest he says he has. But just being around him will make me feel a little warmer inside. i have tried and tried and tried for him, i gave up all substances, my guages and tongue ring (he said he didnt mind the tongue so i put that one back in, and this place lets me have it), all these b/c Brad doesnt like that stuff. i think we could be happy together but hes..well i dont know why hes not doing anything. i mean yea im far away right now but i have waited a long time, and if he doesnt do something by this coming sunday (day after v day) im going to go back to being just friends with him, ill somehow find a way to force myself to rid all "feelings" for him. there are some ppl who think hes an ass, and when i first met him i thought he was the biggest prick ever, but i got to know him, and there is a part of Brad alot of ppl dont see. underneath it all hes purely amazing and i want to be his.
since i got such a good report from that shelter i was at, and i came so clean with my social worker about so much stuff she is starting to have alot of trust in me, and shes searching for foster homes in or close to the torrance area. I should be home soon =-D. Now that im sober and plan to stay that way no matter what (except for of course a few drunken escapades at a maximum of 2-3 times a month), i can do the CHSPE, get done with school by may or june. im looking for a job this whole week starting tomorrow, things are looking good with life right now. so far...i just want one more thing and everything will be damn near flawless. those who know me know what or who that is