KENNETH

[piercedspirit12]

My mom was married to this man named Ralph Begnaud. He was well known around south Louisiana. He was a comedian. They called him the "red tanny shoe man." I know he loved me so much. On one of his tapes he even mentioned me and my mom. I was younger but I was old enough to remember him, and love him. When they divorced he moved away. I remember one year on my birthday he left my present on the doorstep of my new house. I tried looking for him online, and through his old friends but no one could.. or would help me. I got so close. So fucking close. My mom finally gave in and told me that he was living in Broussard. I was almost able to contact him again. Then he died. He fucking died. He was an alcoholic. His liver was shot. The doctor warned him against eating raw foods. He was a stubborn man, kind of like I am now. Raw oysters are what finally killed him. They were bad. They were full of some kind of bacteria. The bacteria just ate away his already bad liver and spread. I got to go to his wake. I lasted maybe 5 min. I walked in, and saw him lying there in his coffin and just broke down in the middle of everyone. I never ever got to say goodbye. I loved him so much.

My mom cooked a seafood gumbo tonight. She takes out the oysters for me even though they're cooked. I was in the kitchen with her and her boyfriend Kenneth. Kenneth asked my mom if she fed the oysters to the cats. She said yes. He said "good I hope it kills them". I just stopped. I looked at him. I asked him very politely to never ever say that again. I went into my room and just broke the fuck down. I know he didn't know. I know he didn't mean it, but it hurts so bad.

I wish there were a heaven. I know there isn't. I know i'll never ever get to see him again. I'll never get to tell him goodbye. THAT kills me.