As Carol Vorderman once said, "I am going to fuck everyone of you so hard right now."
In the same idea as Guns n’ Roses ill fated and non-existent The Chinese Democracy, I too have taken an unnecessary amount of time to write this entry. But, do not think that I am doing this all at the last minute. I have been doing draft after draft of this on my favourite word processing program (Microsoft Word: Student/Teacher Edition) to give you the real deal, dare I say, “profound” view of my life. After having people come up to me day after day asking for an update I thought to myself that I must do my part for the community. However, I lost my drive to do so about 5 minutes into working, when a leftover pop up ad for bestiality porn maximized on my computer screen. After about 7 hours of subsequent personal actions, I realized that basically, “This shit ain’t getting done, bro.” It was not until I crossed paths with a fan that brought me to the point of updating.
After leaving my upper level brain surgery-training course, I opened my penthouse suite door to see a small Asian child crying in my doorway. Of course I did what anyone would do in this situation: I followed my quick jab with a kick and finished with the tazergun/pepperspray/shotgunblast combo. While dumping the body in a nearby ravine, I sensed lifelike activity from the bag. I opened it up to deliver the final blow when I heard a muffled cry in absolutely terrible English. I was so offended by her horrible butchery of my native tongue that I was about to perform my version of the “5-finger exploding heart technique,” of which I have called the “1-hand exploding heart technique.” But later, the muffled cry was revealed to be the English language phrase, “I am sorry.” I sensed weakness, so I allowed the small child to say some final words before she was about to get “blow’d up.” It turns out she was a fan of my livejournal and used my entries to learn whatever English she knew. If my English was as poor as her ability to speak it, I was prepared to destroy every entry I had ever written. However, she then told me that she traveled all the way to the United States (the only place I can get away with beating a small immigrant Asian child) to plead for me to write more entries. I laughed wholeheartedly and replied with, “I usually kill savages like you for even being in my presence.”
SOME SHIT HAPPENED HERE
I became the hereditary emperor of Japan, Thailand, China, and Sri Lanka.
SOME REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT HAPPENED HERE
I became a father of 20,003 children and was able to support them by using the citizens of China as open trading currency. I also did one brain surgery, which I totally fucked up on and lost my license. I then traveled to Kyrgyzstan and purchased a new license for 8 Chinese civilians. This was followed with my assassination.
I REALLY DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER THAT BUT SOMEHOW…..
I am back at school, on my 5th cup of coffee, and at the same time finishing my last livejournal entry forever. While you may think this is a stunt so that I will get more than one or two comments on a post(It is), It is really true, and I will be retiring my journal since I have absolutely nothing interesting to write about besides using it as open commentary on how there are only a few good games to play on Playstation 2© Home Entertainment Console, which I do not have time to play regardless of my desire to do so.
After leaving my upper level brain surgery-training course, I opened my penthouse suite door to see a small Asian child crying in my doorway. Of course I did what anyone would do in this situation: I followed my quick jab with a kick and finished with the tazergun/pepperspray/shotgunblast combo. While dumping the body in a nearby ravine, I sensed lifelike activity from the bag. I opened it up to deliver the final blow when I heard a muffled cry in absolutely terrible English. I was so offended by her horrible butchery of my native tongue that I was about to perform my version of the “5-finger exploding heart technique,” of which I have called the “1-hand exploding heart technique.” But later, the muffled cry was revealed to be the English language phrase, “I am sorry.” I sensed weakness, so I allowed the small child to say some final words before she was about to get “blow’d up.” It turns out she was a fan of my livejournal and used my entries to learn whatever English she knew. If my English was as poor as her ability to speak it, I was prepared to destroy every entry I had ever written. However, she then told me that she traveled all the way to the United States (the only place I can get away with beating a small immigrant Asian child) to plead for me to write more entries. I laughed wholeheartedly and replied with, “I usually kill savages like you for even being in my presence.”
SOME SHIT HAPPENED HERE
I became the hereditary emperor of Japan, Thailand, China, and Sri Lanka.
SOME REALLY FUCKED UP SHIT HAPPENED HERE
I became a father of 20,003 children and was able to support them by using the citizens of China as open trading currency. I also did one brain surgery, which I totally fucked up on and lost my license. I then traveled to Kyrgyzstan and purchased a new license for 8 Chinese civilians. This was followed with my assassination.
I REALLY DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER THAT BUT SOMEHOW…..
I am back at school, on my 5th cup of coffee, and at the same time finishing my last livejournal entry forever. While you may think this is a stunt so that I will get more than one or two comments on a post(It is), It is really true, and I will be retiring my journal since I have absolutely nothing interesting to write about besides using it as open commentary on how there are only a few good games to play on Playstation 2© Home Entertainment Console, which I do not have time to play regardless of my desire to do so.