this is my venting post.
Okay guys, I need to vent..That IS what this thing is for right ? And we all know that I won't talk about it to people..coz..that's just how I am..I keep everything to myself and bottled up..I really needa stop..It's pretty bad. I'd probably feel alot better if I talked about stuff.. Oh well. I'll talk here. And if you don't wanna read..don't..but I really wish you would..I kinda need you guys..This is a really hard time for me..and..like i said above..I won't talk to anyone..So yea..
Okay, So my dad came over today. My Gramma was telling him what's going on..and I was listening coz no one's told me what's going on..and I kinda sorta don't wanna know..but I have to find out sooner or later. Pretty much, My mom's gotten worse..I mean, I can see it..she's all shaky..she's like, yellow..and like..out of it half the time..she's always sleeping.. *sigh* My gramma keeps telling me to spend time with her..I'm trying..but it's hard. REALLY hard. and also, she's like sleeping half the time. =( I don't know. Anyway..So yea, she's gotten worse. She has Liver Cancer..and the doctors have done all they can. So..She's gonna eventually die.....*crys* I know that it's gonna happen..But why now ? I need her..like you won't believe. She's always been there for me..She always makes my appointments and shit. I'm not ready to be an adult. *dies* I can't take it. *breathes* This is really hard to write..I didn't think it'd be so hard. ugh.
I hate crying. It's like, all I do now. Like everynight. I lay in bed and listen to music and just cry my eyes out. I can't listen to a7x without crying now. wtf. There songs arent supposed to make me cry ! What amd I gonna do when I go see them ? I'm gonna be like a mess that night. *dies dies dies* I guess I needa stop listening to them for a while. =/ God, everytime I think of what's going on..it feels like a dream..and I wish it was..Like you woulnd't believe. I wake up in the morning and remember what's going on..and It's not a dream. It's all fucking real. *sigh* I hate it. SO much. One of these day's I/m gonna loose it at work and just start crying. They always ask how she is and everything. It'll probably happen this week too. argh. I hate crying in front of people too. *sigh*
Also, when my gramma was talking to my dad..they were discussing me..I'm not sure what they were saying though.. I couldn't understand them. I herd like..that we've got a really good relationship and that they were glad that we came here to live with them and stuff.
So like, If I'm not around alot..It'll probably mean that I know what's going on more..and I'm hybranating in my room crying my eyes out..or working..or hanging out trying to get my mind off things..Which I've been trying to do. It doesn't really work though.. I don't know. Whatever.
I'm done. I'm to upset to write anymore.. and theres nothing else to really write about..My icon makes me happy. =(
Peace..
♥
Okay, So my dad came over today. My Gramma was telling him what's going on..and I was listening coz no one's told me what's going on..and I kinda sorta don't wanna know..but I have to find out sooner or later. Pretty much, My mom's gotten worse..I mean, I can see it..she's all shaky..she's like, yellow..and like..out of it half the time..she's always sleeping.. *sigh* My gramma keeps telling me to spend time with her..I'm trying..but it's hard. REALLY hard. and also, she's like sleeping half the time. =( I don't know. Anyway..So yea, she's gotten worse. She has Liver Cancer..and the doctors have done all they can. So..She's gonna eventually die.....*crys* I know that it's gonna happen..But why now ? I need her..like you won't believe. She's always been there for me..She always makes my appointments and shit. I'm not ready to be an adult. *dies* I can't take it. *breathes* This is really hard to write..I didn't think it'd be so hard. ugh.
I hate crying. It's like, all I do now. Like everynight. I lay in bed and listen to music and just cry my eyes out. I can't listen to a7x without crying now. wtf. There songs arent supposed to make me cry ! What amd I gonna do when I go see them ? I'm gonna be like a mess that night. *dies dies dies* I guess I needa stop listening to them for a while. =/ God, everytime I think of what's going on..it feels like a dream..and I wish it was..Like you woulnd't believe. I wake up in the morning and remember what's going on..and It's not a dream. It's all fucking real. *sigh* I hate it. SO much. One of these day's I/m gonna loose it at work and just start crying. They always ask how she is and everything. It'll probably happen this week too. argh. I hate crying in front of people too. *sigh*
Also, when my gramma was talking to my dad..they were discussing me..I'm not sure what they were saying though.. I couldn't understand them. I herd like..that we've got a really good relationship and that they were glad that we came here to live with them and stuff.
So like, If I'm not around alot..It'll probably mean that I know what's going on more..and I'm hybranating in my room crying my eyes out..or working..or hanging out trying to get my mind off things..Which I've been trying to do. It doesn't really work though.. I don't know. Whatever.
I'm done. I'm to upset to write anymore.. and theres nothing else to really write about..My icon makes me happy. =(
Peace..
♥