Love Letter
I'm just going to say this...and I don't care what happens. Not anymore.
Dear Mikey,
Once upon a time I found something in you; a love so strong and endearing that it defied everything I had ever stood for. It defied my personality, what I thought I had wanted in a boyfriend, my religious beliefs, my family life...everything. It took me to new places in my life I had never dreamed of going - it brought me onto the right path. It brought me home. Home...that's a funny word. It describes so many things, but the only one that comes to mind is "Home is where the heart is." But home is not just where the heart is. Home is where everything is. Not just the heart, but the soul...the very essence of the being. Home is where it all makes sense. Home is where you are safe and warm...and loved. That's what I found in you...home.
I remember the good times. There are a few that stick out in my head the most. I remember the time that I got back from Seattle, and you were there. I was really tired from flying...so you brought me upstairs and put me to bed. But you didn't just put me to bed. You sang me to sleep. You sang, "I will stay with you till you are sleeping." It echoes in my mind. Your beautiful voice gently lulling me into silent slumber. Oh how I knew I loved you. I remember another time when you showed up at my door in tears because of what your father had said...and I comforted you, dried your tears, made you smile. I remember seeing a shooting star while in the park across the street from my house. It was magical. I remember so many things that just prove to me in so many ways that I was meant to be with you.
But I'm not. And for a while I thought that would be okay. For a while it was torture, yes, but I survived. And then I moved on. I started seeing Jeremy. I recognized something in Jeremy that I lost when you left me. I was comfortable with him. He made me laugh, and I enjoyed my time spent with him. But then that spark just died for no reason, and I was forced to hurt him. I had to break up with him because I couldn't lie to him and I couldn't lie to myself. And then the strangest thing happen. I fell back in love with you. It just happened. It clicked, just like it did whenever you smiled at me. My heart fluttered and jumped at the sight of you.
But no. That wasn't a good thing, right? I was just trying to hold onto while I was with Jeremy. I was playing you so I could have you back. That's what you want to believe. It was all some part of a master plot to keep you in my life, right? Lies! All wrong. I never intended any such thing. I told you how I felt, and that was all. I am not going to blame myself for being honest. You always wanted me to be honest. And then when I was...you couldn't take it.
You ran away. You told me you'd never run away. You told me you would always try to work things out.
I love you unlike I will love anyone else the rest of my life. I'm proclaiming that here and now. This is the truth. I will never be as happy with anyone as I was with you. That's me being completely honest, so just deal with it. Don't tell me that I haven't moved on. Don't tell me that I'm fooling myself or I'm trying to go back to the way things were. This is the way things are. I love you, and I will always love you. You are that one thing that I always wanted out of life. To love and be loved in return. And that's all.
I love you, and I always will.
Love,
KC
Dear Mikey,
Once upon a time I found something in you; a love so strong and endearing that it defied everything I had ever stood for. It defied my personality, what I thought I had wanted in a boyfriend, my religious beliefs, my family life...everything. It took me to new places in my life I had never dreamed of going - it brought me onto the right path. It brought me home. Home...that's a funny word. It describes so many things, but the only one that comes to mind is "Home is where the heart is." But home is not just where the heart is. Home is where everything is. Not just the heart, but the soul...the very essence of the being. Home is where it all makes sense. Home is where you are safe and warm...and loved. That's what I found in you...home.
I remember the good times. There are a few that stick out in my head the most. I remember the time that I got back from Seattle, and you were there. I was really tired from flying...so you brought me upstairs and put me to bed. But you didn't just put me to bed. You sang me to sleep. You sang, "I will stay with you till you are sleeping." It echoes in my mind. Your beautiful voice gently lulling me into silent slumber. Oh how I knew I loved you. I remember another time when you showed up at my door in tears because of what your father had said...and I comforted you, dried your tears, made you smile. I remember seeing a shooting star while in the park across the street from my house. It was magical. I remember so many things that just prove to me in so many ways that I was meant to be with you.
But I'm not. And for a while I thought that would be okay. For a while it was torture, yes, but I survived. And then I moved on. I started seeing Jeremy. I recognized something in Jeremy that I lost when you left me. I was comfortable with him. He made me laugh, and I enjoyed my time spent with him. But then that spark just died for no reason, and I was forced to hurt him. I had to break up with him because I couldn't lie to him and I couldn't lie to myself. And then the strangest thing happen. I fell back in love with you. It just happened. It clicked, just like it did whenever you smiled at me. My heart fluttered and jumped at the sight of you.
But no. That wasn't a good thing, right? I was just trying to hold onto while I was with Jeremy. I was playing you so I could have you back. That's what you want to believe. It was all some part of a master plot to keep you in my life, right? Lies! All wrong. I never intended any such thing. I told you how I felt, and that was all. I am not going to blame myself for being honest. You always wanted me to be honest. And then when I was...you couldn't take it.
You ran away. You told me you'd never run away. You told me you would always try to work things out.
I love you unlike I will love anyone else the rest of my life. I'm proclaiming that here and now. This is the truth. I will never be as happy with anyone as I was with you. That's me being completely honest, so just deal with it. Don't tell me that I haven't moved on. Don't tell me that I'm fooling myself or I'm trying to go back to the way things were. This is the way things are. I love you, and I will always love you. You are that one thing that I always wanted out of life. To love and be loved in return. And that's all.
I love you, and I always will.
Love,
KC