Eric Meyer
Eric
The reason I'm writing this to you here is because talking to you hurts me and I can see that you don't really like talking to me either. So I figured maybe if I wrote this to you here you'd read it and wouldn't have to say anything back to me.
So.. here I go..
I never meant to hurt you.. and it kills me that I did. For like the past month now you were the only person I trusted and told everything to because I knew that you would always be here for me and you always made me feel like a better person.. I know I did what I did today because of you.. but it wasnt because of you.. it was because you are no longer there and I dont know how to deal with that because I dont know whos gonna make me feel good about myself.. I dont know how I'm gonna live without talking to you all the time.. or how I'm gonna live without running to you all the time about every single little problem. The reason I told you most of the time was because you made them seem small. They didnt seem like that much of a big deal when I told you.. You made me feel like everything was going to be okay. I know I've promised so many times that I wouldnt cut and you say that you feel useless because I never kept a promise or because you couldnt help but everytime that I stopped myself from cutting was because of you.. everytime that I thought i was stupid for doing this was because of you.. everytime i cried for hours and cried myself to sleep because i cut was because of you.. because I know that youve tried to help me so much and I'd brush you off. But now that ive lost you completly I dont really know what to do with myself. And I guess I just want you to know that theres no one whos ever helped me as much as you did.. and thatll never change. I dont want you to feel like you failed. You changed me so much in so many ways and I could never be thankful enough. No one has every treated me as good as you did and I will never forget that. I know we may not be friends anymore but I want you to know that I'll always be thinking of you.. and everytime you walk by me and I can't give you a hug Ill feel like crying. I know I fucked up so bad and theres a million things that i could say but you probably still wouldnt forgive me. But I still want to let you know that if you ever need anything.. ill still be here.. and if you want to be friends with me again.. even though itll be hard.. ill be patient and ill wait.. and if you dont want to be friends with me ever again than i understand.
ill always love you and i miss you so much