What the hell, here I go again....
Not that there is going to be anyone reading this..... But here I go again. I really hate all things cyber, I'd just as soon go live in the wooods, and with my disposition of late it might be the best possible choice. Since we last left Luckey....My dad had and recovered from a massive heart attack, and triple bi-pass surgery. I'm now the care taker of him and my bedridden mother. I've been promoted to site supervisor at work, making a buck more an hour than I was, and inheriting a 24-7 responsibility around my neck. My relationship with Talin was dissolved, status of it now unkown... Friends? who knows...There's been a black out in comunications there. I'm leaving my residence of sixteen years to Live God knows where. ( I don't even want to talk about it. Let your imagination run wild on the negitive side, it'll probably be amazingly accurate)and Gernarally I'm just wondering what the hells going on and what to do next, beyond Pray. My faith is being tested, no doubt I'll look back on this time and laugh-It may be as I'm throwing a rope around my neck, but I'll laugh. I just feel like total shit spiritually and emotionally. If it wasn't for My friends, and church (they're one and the same actually) I don't know what I'd do. Whether they know it or not, they are God's love to me right now and I am so grateful to him for them. Strangely I'm still driven to reach out to people, and even odder still some reach back. So even though I don't feel it I guess I'm still somewhat likable, even in this shallow state. My prayer to God is that of the Phoenix, Lord let me rise anew from these ashes. Til then, I'm smouldering in my feathers, singing a mournful hymn. What do you do? Have faith. Pray, and do the bravest thing you can. Hope. Peace. If anyones out there, keep me and my family in prayer.