Saskatoon City Police - we CARE
Ahahahaha. Today we had the BEST guest speaker. A police officer from the drug task force came to talk to us about street drug use. One of the first words out of his mouth was "donkey", although not quite so nice, so I knew it would be an entertaining 2 hours. I wasn't disappointed.
Police Officer (PO): How many of you know someone who does LSD?
*Couple of students at back of class raise their hands*
PO: How many of you know people who do magic mushrooms?
*Same students at back of class raise their hands*
PO: All right, partiers at the back. I like that.
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PO: The Hells Angels, or HA, are responsible for most of the street drugs in this country. They aren't just the motorcycle enthusiasts they would like us to believe they are.
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PO: Oh, yeah, crystal meth is easy to make. You can find recipes for it on the internet. Monkeys could make it!
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PO: How many of you have seen it before?
*No one in class raises their hand because they do not know what it is*
PO: You bunch of liars! . . . No, wait, I don't mean that. It's a good thing if none of you have done ecstasy.
Class: Ohhhhhh. *Hands raise*
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PO: Ecstasy is marketed as a feel good, hug drug. That's not really true. *More talking about its effects, etc.* Ecstasy used to be used for medical purposes. They used to use it in marriage counseling. Apparently they don't anymore. . .
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PO: Crystal meth users have this club called the, pardon my language, the F--- Club. They steal stuff to buy their drugs. If your car gets broken into here by Siast it was probably by one of the crystal meth guys that live around here. I can recognize almost all of them.
Friend behind me: Wow, I'm never driving to school again. . .
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PO: You can recognize the crystal meth punks because they'll be wearing a backpack and riding a BMX like an eight year old.
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PO: *after talking about how most break-ins are done by crystal meth addicts* Crystal meth addicts are the scourge of this city!
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Okay, and if you didn't appreciate some of the above quotes, I saved the best for last:
Student: What's the mortality rate for crystal meth addicts?
PO: Would it be politically incorrect if I said 'Not high enough'?
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*After class*
Friend: I wonder if he's ever given a presentation for this class before?
Me: I wonder if they'll ever invite him back?
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Needless to say, I was laughing through most of the class. He didn't keep any of his opinions to himself. Public speaking is probably not his forte. . .