and i know you're in this room, i'm sure i heard you sigh.
jumping on the bandwagon.
follow-up to last year's.
whoa things have changed.
things to note:
i'm being really fucking honest here,
but at the same time,
i'm being as fair as possible as well.
chances are if you have made any sort of impact
on my life in the past year,
you'll be included.
and hell, i'm making this bitch public.
click
1. you're the closest thing to a consistent best friend i have, which is really sad considering the obvious obstacle at hand. you opened me up to so much, and pretty much as long as i can remember, i've wanted to have the same drive and independence that comes naturally to you...i admit, i get jealous sometimes knowing you have so much, but you're so humble, you have no idea you have it. another thing that gets me is how your silence speaks more than your words, at least the few you do speak. growing up with you has been nothing short of amazing. i love you more than words, i hope you know this.
1a. you're the younger counterpart to this. i love you so much too.
2. you have me second-guessing all the time. during the regular school year, i swear i get called your name sometimes because well, we're pretty much attached at the hip. but the summertime always makes me skeptical, particularly this year. how can you be a friend when you never recipricate? i have so much respect for you, you are so level-headed and moral, and not at all like anyone else i know...a great friend when you want to be, i guess [that sounds a lot harsher than it is]. i just get so frustrated and down on myself because i feel like i mean nothing to you.
3. i wish i didn't want to avoid you like i do, but it's mainly because i'm still mad over things you said to me this summer, despite that you may have not meant them entirely. also, you're leaving so soon, and maybe its a defense mechanism so i don't get too attached. otherwise, you're one of the most talented and generous people i had the pleasure of meeting recently. you're going big places, and for that i am really proud of you.
4. we're really close, so when we got in a fight over the past year, it came as a big shock. but now, i'm grateful because it has opened my eyes up to a lot of things i need to change or work toward at least. the thing that comes to mind when i think of you is how unique you are; honestly, i hope i can be a fraction of the individual you are at some point in my life. you're strong, extremely bright, and most of all, a deep thinker, a characteristic i will always greatly admire [not to mention great taste in music, of course]. on the other hand, i do worry about you a lot, it seems like things get out of hand for you. another thing i have to say is that, i envy you and your best friend for how close you guys are, but then again, i can't think of any two people better suited for each other, and you guys have undoubtedly earned that.
5. for someone i have never actually met in person, you're an amazing individual. please keep in touch, i particularly enjoy talking to you.
6. you were the only person that did anything with me on my 17th birthday, and i'll always remember that. we can talk about everything, although sometimes i don't think you quite sense when i need you to see beyond yourself. for the most part, however, you're an amazing support, my crutch at times, despite that i disagree with a LOT of your viewpoints.
7. you're really sweet, but you can be dull at times. honestly, i think it is just that we share the same problem at school, neither of us can quite fit in or find a consistent friendship within the walls of high school.
8. i can't think of any other word to describe you at the moment except strong-willed. i give you so much credit for everything you do, and i guess the question there is, what don't you do? you're an intelligent, athletic, eloquent, and all-around genuine person, and you're pretty much the model individual for someone our age, bound for great places. that in mind, you've gone through some really tough events in the past year or so, and i remember that night you were telling me about it and thinking how strong you are. again, strong-willed.
9. you're a great guy most of the time [at least the few times i do get in contact with you], but i did hesitate over your attempts this summer. on the other hand, i do know you had nothing but good intentions for me. i know, also, that the good things from the past will always outweight inconsequential things of late. i do miss you, you have a very level head and i appreciate that.
10. i honestly...do not even know where to begin on this one. you frustrate me to no end, you make me angry because you can seem so unfeeling and insensitive, and you have the ability to make me feel so small with your ideals. you pretty much drive me insane, particularly with issues lately. all that aside, it has been a fucking ride to say the least. i really couldn't start to depict how big of a figure you are for me; although i think the one thing i will always be most grateful for is that i know you genuinely care about me, or at least i know you did over the majority of the past year. i still doubt it occasionally, but i know if i said anything you'd say how insecure i was and maybe get mad, because i truly know you do care. i'm scared because i think you know me better than i do at times, but i guess what scares me more is that someday, i could very well lose that.
11. i remember first day of preseason freshman year, i spotted what had to be the only other person that looked as shy and lonely as myself. we were partners during the practices that week, we kept each other going, and i don't think much has changed in that sense. we more or less keep each other going. sometimes we may be equally down, maybe one of us more than the other, regardless, talking with you has been such a gift. you're HILARIOUS, insanely bright, and wow, you have a lot going for you. i know you go through some rough shit, particularly with your parents [god, someday i hope i can tell them off for not seeing the amazing individual their daughter really is] and various pressures that comes with growing up, but you are also strong, i see that. i hope you carry that with you too. the final thing i have to say? you mean a lot to me, you do.
12. although you can be quite egotistical, i don't think you've ever been anything short of nice to me. i remember meeting you for the first time, you didn't even KNOW me and you gave me [and uh, my MOM] the best hug. ultimately, i hope we do keep in touch.
13. you have this amazing way of taking every advantage dealt to you. you're not one to sit and wait for things to come to you, you go out and do it yourself. through this, you have everyone envious, to be the girl who knows everyone, the girl that has the balls to roll down the window from my car and shout out cat-calls to strangers on the street. i love this about you. you're an amazing individual, even if sometimes the concept of you being friends with everyone makes me feel small.
14. getting to know you better was a blast, i really regretted not having known you well sooner. i do not stop laughing when you're around, thus making you one of the best individuals to be around. i do worry for you though, you can be really wild and that side of things scares me. it amazes me how smart and congenial you truly are, i hope you know this. genuinely sweet, too.
15. i'm sorry to say that we may be in the process of growing apart. when we get together now, it seems like we talk about the same things repetitively, and when it comes to actual interests, i've grown leaps and bounds whereas you haven't strayed much from the middle schooler i originally befriended. the bottom line is that it can get dull, but it is neither of our faults. on the contrary, i do hope we can strike up the occasional phone conversation, it would be well worth it in the long run. you are so sweet, so talented...insert positive adjective here. i hope the best for you, you deserve it.
16. sometimes i prejudge and think we're too different for each other, but you are so down-to-earth, it's hard for me not to want to talk to you anyways. i'll always remember that night in my car we drove around: you asked me what "emo" was, i told black people jokes, and we listened to the shins. and holy shit, you can piss me off with your "bad day?" approaches, but all those times you told me to cheer up in class, those times you "stole my nose" or tried to tickle me, junior year was a lot better because of that. thank you so much.
edit (12:15 a.m.): i didn't get to everyone i had planned, i'm sorry for that guys. i may do a follow-up, but this is it for now. and please, i want comments on this one.
follow-up to last year's.
whoa things have changed.
things to note:
i'm being really fucking honest here,
but at the same time,
i'm being as fair as possible as well.
chances are if you have made any sort of impact
on my life in the past year,
you'll be included.
and hell, i'm making this bitch public.
click
1. you're the closest thing to a consistent best friend i have, which is really sad considering the obvious obstacle at hand. you opened me up to so much, and pretty much as long as i can remember, i've wanted to have the same drive and independence that comes naturally to you...i admit, i get jealous sometimes knowing you have so much, but you're so humble, you have no idea you have it. another thing that gets me is how your silence speaks more than your words, at least the few you do speak. growing up with you has been nothing short of amazing. i love you more than words, i hope you know this.
1a. you're the younger counterpart to this. i love you so much too.
2. you have me second-guessing all the time. during the regular school year, i swear i get called your name sometimes because well, we're pretty much attached at the hip. but the summertime always makes me skeptical, particularly this year. how can you be a friend when you never recipricate? i have so much respect for you, you are so level-headed and moral, and not at all like anyone else i know...a great friend when you want to be, i guess [that sounds a lot harsher than it is]. i just get so frustrated and down on myself because i feel like i mean nothing to you.
3. i wish i didn't want to avoid you like i do, but it's mainly because i'm still mad over things you said to me this summer, despite that you may have not meant them entirely. also, you're leaving so soon, and maybe its a defense mechanism so i don't get too attached. otherwise, you're one of the most talented and generous people i had the pleasure of meeting recently. you're going big places, and for that i am really proud of you.
4. we're really close, so when we got in a fight over the past year, it came as a big shock. but now, i'm grateful because it has opened my eyes up to a lot of things i need to change or work toward at least. the thing that comes to mind when i think of you is how unique you are; honestly, i hope i can be a fraction of the individual you are at some point in my life. you're strong, extremely bright, and most of all, a deep thinker, a characteristic i will always greatly admire [not to mention great taste in music, of course]. on the other hand, i do worry about you a lot, it seems like things get out of hand for you. another thing i have to say is that, i envy you and your best friend for how close you guys are, but then again, i can't think of any two people better suited for each other, and you guys have undoubtedly earned that.
5. for someone i have never actually met in person, you're an amazing individual. please keep in touch, i particularly enjoy talking to you.
6. you were the only person that did anything with me on my 17th birthday, and i'll always remember that. we can talk about everything, although sometimes i don't think you quite sense when i need you to see beyond yourself. for the most part, however, you're an amazing support, my crutch at times, despite that i disagree with a LOT of your viewpoints.
7. you're really sweet, but you can be dull at times. honestly, i think it is just that we share the same problem at school, neither of us can quite fit in or find a consistent friendship within the walls of high school.
8. i can't think of any other word to describe you at the moment except strong-willed. i give you so much credit for everything you do, and i guess the question there is, what don't you do? you're an intelligent, athletic, eloquent, and all-around genuine person, and you're pretty much the model individual for someone our age, bound for great places. that in mind, you've gone through some really tough events in the past year or so, and i remember that night you were telling me about it and thinking how strong you are. again, strong-willed.
9. you're a great guy most of the time [at least the few times i do get in contact with you], but i did hesitate over your attempts this summer. on the other hand, i do know you had nothing but good intentions for me. i know, also, that the good things from the past will always outweight inconsequential things of late. i do miss you, you have a very level head and i appreciate that.
10. i honestly...do not even know where to begin on this one. you frustrate me to no end, you make me angry because you can seem so unfeeling and insensitive, and you have the ability to make me feel so small with your ideals. you pretty much drive me insane, particularly with issues lately. all that aside, it has been a fucking ride to say the least. i really couldn't start to depict how big of a figure you are for me; although i think the one thing i will always be most grateful for is that i know you genuinely care about me, or at least i know you did over the majority of the past year. i still doubt it occasionally, but i know if i said anything you'd say how insecure i was and maybe get mad, because i truly know you do care. i'm scared because i think you know me better than i do at times, but i guess what scares me more is that someday, i could very well lose that.
11. i remember first day of preseason freshman year, i spotted what had to be the only other person that looked as shy and lonely as myself. we were partners during the practices that week, we kept each other going, and i don't think much has changed in that sense. we more or less keep each other going. sometimes we may be equally down, maybe one of us more than the other, regardless, talking with you has been such a gift. you're HILARIOUS, insanely bright, and wow, you have a lot going for you. i know you go through some rough shit, particularly with your parents [god, someday i hope i can tell them off for not seeing the amazing individual their daughter really is] and various pressures that comes with growing up, but you are also strong, i see that. i hope you carry that with you too. the final thing i have to say? you mean a lot to me, you do.
12. although you can be quite egotistical, i don't think you've ever been anything short of nice to me. i remember meeting you for the first time, you didn't even KNOW me and you gave me [and uh, my MOM] the best hug. ultimately, i hope we do keep in touch.
13. you have this amazing way of taking every advantage dealt to you. you're not one to sit and wait for things to come to you, you go out and do it yourself. through this, you have everyone envious, to be the girl who knows everyone, the girl that has the balls to roll down the window from my car and shout out cat-calls to strangers on the street. i love this about you. you're an amazing individual, even if sometimes the concept of you being friends with everyone makes me feel small.
14. getting to know you better was a blast, i really regretted not having known you well sooner. i do not stop laughing when you're around, thus making you one of the best individuals to be around. i do worry for you though, you can be really wild and that side of things scares me. it amazes me how smart and congenial you truly are, i hope you know this. genuinely sweet, too.
15. i'm sorry to say that we may be in the process of growing apart. when we get together now, it seems like we talk about the same things repetitively, and when it comes to actual interests, i've grown leaps and bounds whereas you haven't strayed much from the middle schooler i originally befriended. the bottom line is that it can get dull, but it is neither of our faults. on the contrary, i do hope we can strike up the occasional phone conversation, it would be well worth it in the long run. you are so sweet, so talented...insert positive adjective here. i hope the best for you, you deserve it.
16. sometimes i prejudge and think we're too different for each other, but you are so down-to-earth, it's hard for me not to want to talk to you anyways. i'll always remember that night in my car we drove around: you asked me what "emo" was, i told black people jokes, and we listened to the shins. and holy shit, you can piss me off with your "bad day?" approaches, but all those times you told me to cheer up in class, those times you "stole my nose" or tried to tickle me, junior year was a lot better because of that. thank you so much.
edit (12:15 a.m.): i didn't get to everyone i had planned, i'm sorry for that guys. i may do a follow-up, but this is it for now. and please, i want comments on this one.