Complications Chapter 4
New chapter, deals with reflections and a surprise.
This was not supposed to take anywhere near as long as it did, but I have had a horrible couple of months. I won’t bore you with details, but suffice it to say it sucked so if anyone is still reading I would really appreciate a review. Thank you to those who have reviewed the previous chapters. That said enjoy.
Disclaimer: See first chapter
Derek stared out at the water, following the waves and allowing the calmness it always brought him to wash over his body. Being out on the water always tended to center him and bring order to his thoughts, something he desperately needed at this point. Seeing her the other day had done nothing but increase his desire to be near her. It was so comfortable and so easy the way they fell into their familiar bantering. It felt like coming home. That’s the way his life was supposed to turn out; to have that perfect partner by his side one that matched him in every way (and if he was honest with himself, bested him in quite a few too), but things had changed.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love his wife, because he did. She was sweet, kind, fiercely loyal to her friends and she loved him. They had a comfortable life together, there was nothing missing, nothing wrong. Except that it wasn’t right. It just didn’t fit.
It wasn’t what he wanted.
The problem was he didn’t know what he wanted. Okay that’s a lie, he knew what he wanted, she just didn’t want him. Not that he could particularly blame her given their history. He didn’t exactly have the best track record with her. Sometimes when he looks back on the way he treated her the last few years in New York and especially when he came to Seattle he can’t help but wince. In Seattle his behavior seemed perfectly legitimized she hurt him, so he did the same to her, over and over and over again. And everyone around seemed to support his decision. After all, he was cuckolded in his marital bed by his best friend, she deserved it, right? Okay maybe he was a little harsher than was absolutely necessary, but it wasn’t like he could just welcome her back into his heart with open arms. It was tit for tat, that’s how relationships work.
Of course if he went further back to their time in New York, his argument kind of fell a part. She was putting in all the effort and he reaped the rewards. He wasn’t as involved as he had once been. Everyone in Seattle assumed it was because he had fallen out of love with her, but that wasn’t it. That wasn’t it at all. She was…his heart. He loved her more than he had the ability to say, though he certainly tried early on in their relationship and marriage. As time passed he became more comfortable and assured that she was his forever, so he may not have voiced it as much but she knew. She had to know. At least he thought she knew. After the “incident” and the move to Seattle, he just buried the love beneath miles of hate, jealousy, arrogance, hurt, and infatuation with the newness of the intern. So, now he was here, they were in the same city and it was time to work on a game plan. For what exactly he didn’t know, but a plan seemed like a good place to start. And the quiet calm around him was the perfect setting to do so.
At least that was until he heard the screams from the coeds about twenty feet away. He sighed, there went his peaceful reprieve.
“Admittedly, it’s not as secluded as our little pond back in New York, but you must admit the scenery is infinitely better,” a voice intoned from beside him, the British accent still strong after all these years in the States.
Derek turned to see the good doctor with his eyes glued to the bikini clad women. Derek chuckled and asked, “Don’t you have a wife waiting for you at home, Jack?”
“Hey, I’m married, not dead,” he laughed. “And as I recall you have a wife as well, but that didn’t stop you from ogling your ex all night.”
“What are you..?”
“Oh, please don’t insult my intelligence by denying it.”
Derek sighed, “Was I that obvious?”
“Stevie Wonder could have seen it. With the smoldering looks you were giving, I’m surprised her dress didn’t catch fire.”
“She did look gorgeous, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she did. So what’s going on there?”
“What do you mean?”
Jack gave him a sly glance, “Are you having an affair with your ex-wife or just dreaming about it?”
Derek’s mouth gaped and he shook his head. “I - I, I’m not, I mean we aren’t…”
“So just dreaming about it then.”
Derek turned his gaze back out onto the water, “I don’t want an affair.”
“But?” Jack prompted.
“But,” he sighed, “I miss her. I miss my best friend.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“I couldn’t get her to talk to me for five minutes.”
“What happened to you two? I remember a time when you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.”
“I don’t know. But, I grew complacent. I just assumed that she would always be there while I worked on my professional career. I figured that once I was chief, I could make up for the missed dinners, birthdays, and anniversaries. Then we could really work on starting our family. We would have everything we wanted. That was always the plan. I guess I just forgot to include her in the process, and then Mark happened so…”
“Don’t even mention that SOB to me. If I had my way he would have been castrated long before he had a chance to make a move on Addie. My daughter was inconsolable for three months after he stopped returning her calls.”
Derek hid his smirk. “Mark has always been Mark.”
“I hear he’s in Seattle now.”
“Yeah, we’re both at Seattle Grace.”
“How have you not killed him yet?”
“I forgave him actually. We’re…we’re friends, again.”
“Wait, you’re friends with the guy who fucked your wife in your bed?”
“It’s complicated, but…he’s my brother.”
Jack looked at him incredulously, but decided to let it go. “So what are you going to do about Addison?”
“I don’t know. I just…I can’t get her out of my head.”
“That’s your problem, mate. You are always in your head.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that it’s time to stop thinking and start doing, savvy? Take your balls out of your back pocket and use them.”
Derek was quiet as he pondered the good doctor’s advice. He felt two drops of moisture hit his forearm and looked up to the suddenly overcast sky. “We better get inside. It looks like a storm is coming.”
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Addison was curled on her couch under her favorite plaid flannel blanket with her latest novel in hand, reading glasses on the tip of her nose, and a glass of wine on the table. She could hear her phone ringing in the kitchen, but elected to ignore it. If it was really important they could page her. A few seconds later, she heard the beep indicating she had voicemail. She had just gotten into a comfortable position when the doorbell rang. She sighed, replaced her bookmark and got up to answer the door.
“Hello, gorgeous,” Kevin smiled at her as he pecked her lips, and moved past her into the kitchen. Addison grinned and locked the door, before following him back.
“It is really coming down out there.” Addison noted as she looked out the windows toward her patio.
“Yea, tell me about it,” Kevin quipped, shaking the excess water from his hair.
“Ahh,” Addison shrieked, jumping away from him. “Stop trying to get me wet.”
“Oh, darlin’,” he drawled, pulling her closer, “I know of much better ways to get you wet,” he stated wiggling his eyebrows.
“Uh-uh,” Addison laughed, pushing him away. “You have to feed me first.”
He sighed dramatically, “If you insist,” he smiled, pecking her lips.
“What did you bring me?”
“Mexican.”
“Ooh, great! Did you remember the salsa?”
“What?”
“Salsa. Did you remember to get salsa?”
“Erm…”
“Kevin. I can’t eat quesadillas without salsa.”
“Addison.”
“Kevin.”
He sighed. “You are so lucky I love you.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” she promised, with a seductive smile.
“You better,” he yelled as he ran out to his car.
Addison had just settled back on the couch when she heard the knock at the door. She set her book back down and walked over to answer it. She could see his shadowy figure through the glass and smiled as she opened the door. “Wow, that was extremely...Derek? What are you doing here?”
He looked up and his blue eyes locked with hers. He was getting absolutely drenched from the rain, but he didn’t seem to care. He was breathing heavily, almost as though he was in pain as he stared into her eyes.
“What are you doing here?” she repeated.
“Was that him? Was that Mr. Wonderful?”
“Ya, that was him and he’s coming right back, so please. What? What is it? What do you want?”
He looked around as he shoved his hands through his wet hair, pushing it back from his face. He leaned against the door jamb as he met her gaze again. “I don’t know,” he sighed. His eyes dropped down her form taking in her tank top and shorts, and by the time they returned to her own they had darkened considerably. He was now giving her THAT look, one that she knew all too well. A look that was heightened by the flash of lightning behind him.
As it registered, she began to shake her head. “No, no Derek. Go home to your wife.” She began to shut the door, but he pushed it back open, biting his lip, and looking at her imploringly.
“NO, DEREK! I am not some slutty intern; you will not make me into the other woman!”
“Addie, I-”
“Go home, Derek,” she whispered.
“That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked as her eyes began to fill with tears.
“Because I fucked everything up Addie! I just want to make it right. Please, give me a chance to make things right.”
Addison sadly shook her head, as she willed the tears not to fall. “No, go home to your wife.” He began to shake his head. “Go,” she said firmly. She turned her eyes to the ground refusing to meet his gaze and began to shut the door.
“Addie, please,” he begged.
She paused and took a deep breath before placing her palm against the glass and softly shutting the door. She did not look up, even when she felt the warmth from where his palm pressed against hers on the other side of the glass. She simply locked the door and walked away, never once looking back.
Addison walked into the kitchen and sat on a stool at her bar, her head in her hands. She glanced down at her cell phone remembering that she had voicemail. She put it on speaker and allowed it to play. Derek’s voice suddenly filled her kitchen.
::beep:: Addie, hey, it’s-it’s me. Look I got your address from Sam, we have to talk. I have to tell you that I…I…Fuck...I miss you, baby. I miss you so much that it physically hurts. I just…I don’t know what I’m doing, but I need you, Addie. Please. ::beep::
The rain continued to fall outside while her tears drenched the marble counter top; the only breaks in the silence were her gut-wrenching sobs.
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I’m not going to say when the next chapter will be up, because I always make a liar of myself. But, reviews speed up the process, so you know what to do.