just a couple blathers before I head off to lunch
I think - and don't quote me on this, it's just thinks that have been crystallizing in my head recently - I think that what I want, after this year, is to spend time in a country where I know the language and am not visibly foreign.
Chinese - I keep feeling like i'm beating my head against it. It feels like no matter how much I learn, there's always more. I've learnt so much so far, and I can understand almost everything in a conversation - but that 'almost' is the killer. That part of "I can understand every word in a sentence and yet don't know what you mean". That part of "I've been listening to you for two hours (hi chorus guys :D) and I can understand the gist, but don't get the small talk". And all the associated et cetera coming with all that.
I don't want to make this a long post, because I'm meeting someone at 12.15 for lunches. But: I want to take a break. I am ready for a break. I found over Christmas that I'm ready for a break, and that feeling is just getting stronger.
I'm pushing it to the back, and focusing on my studies and my job and my life here, yes. I am being responsible and not moping, yes.
But.
But I reaffirm my previously-held belief that I do not want to spend my life in China, and I think I'd like to try living - working - in a place where I am not half-mute.
(I'm actually thinking Europe? Have been for a while. Hungarian obviously I know, Swedish I'd need a kick-in-the-pants to get going but am pretty good with, and French:fuck no. Just no. I don't have the patience for it. English: universal language, easy to operate in, but I don't want to lean on it and I'm fine learning another language as long as it's not years of pain and anguish ;p )
Chinese - I keep feeling like i'm beating my head against it. It feels like no matter how much I learn, there's always more. I've learnt so much so far, and I can understand almost everything in a conversation - but that 'almost' is the killer. That part of "I can understand every word in a sentence and yet don't know what you mean". That part of "I've been listening to you for two hours (hi chorus guys :D) and I can understand the gist, but don't get the small talk". And all the associated et cetera coming with all that.
I don't want to make this a long post, because I'm meeting someone at 12.15 for lunches. But: I want to take a break. I am ready for a break. I found over Christmas that I'm ready for a break, and that feeling is just getting stronger.
I'm pushing it to the back, and focusing on my studies and my job and my life here, yes. I am being responsible and not moping, yes.
But.
But I reaffirm my previously-held belief that I do not want to spend my life in China, and I think I'd like to try living - working - in a place where I am not half-mute.
(I'm actually thinking Europe? Have been for a while. Hungarian obviously I know, Swedish I'd need a kick-in-the-pants to get going but am pretty good with, and French:fuck no. Just no. I don't have the patience for it. English: universal language, easy to operate in, but I don't want to lean on it and I'm fine learning another language as long as it's not years of pain and anguish ;p )