specific: Mr Cynic
So. You know how I feel about cynicism.
(For those of you who don't: I hate it. No, seriously, I outright, flat-out, straight-up hate it. I don't hate much, or get angry much, but this is one way to get me really fucking mad: pretend (or, hell, believe) that you have Seen It All and are so world-weary, that everything sucks and there's no fixing it, that the only possible response to it is to mock it incessantly because it all just sucks so much, that life is just irreparably broken and you might as well be an asshole about it.
No. Fuck you. No fuck you, because no.
And hell, I can even understand, sometimes, the reason a person might feel that way. Sure, maybe you go through a lot to get there. But that's when you have to start understanding stuff. You can't go through a whole pile and remain as ignorant as you did before you started. And if your reaction to everything is to be a smartass about it, fuck you buddy and don't come back.
TL;DR: Jadedness and cynicism is possibly the only emotional behaviour Pico flat-out hates.)
So we've got this got this guy in the FTES. He is basically your classic expat: has lived in China for five years and still doesn't speak the language. Classic American expat: lives here, complains about the country, complains about back home, havngs out almost exclusively with foreigners.
(I want to shake him and ask him WTF WRONGWITH YOU, but that's beside the point. That's just my reaction to anyone who lives in another country for years upon years and constantly tries to sheild himself from it. My god, you wouldn't believe how many of the FTES don't know much about the city outside of campus. Beside the point.)
This dude. Lunch. Monday. Mondays are, apparently, weekly lunches at Freckles. (Not the restaurant's name - the English name bestowed upon it by the FTES. They do this a lot: don't bother to learn the place's actual name, but rather give places names based on a characteristic of them. So we've got restaurants like Fat Kid Opening The Door, and Freckles, and The Bar, and The Hotpot Place. It sounds cute at first, but then you realize, 'come on. you - you don't bother?' and you try to tell them the place's real name, and they keep calling it their own nickname. And they always order the same dishes and never buy things they don't know or don't like or things that are Too Foreign, like meat with bones in it, or kimchi.)
So. Lunch. Monday, at Freckles.
We're having lunch, and next to us is this table of old ladies, also lunching. They finish up, and get up, and start leaving. And, as Chinese old ladies do, they walk very slowly by the Table Full Of Foreigners, staring curiously. Most of us keep eating, or smile or nod. Mr Cynic? Mr Cynic leans back in his chair, looks back at the old ladies, and says "yeah? so you like that lunch? Good stuff huh? You like those mushrooms? Yeah, I bet."
You look at these words written, and they don't look so bad. You listen to the tone of voice they're in, and just - shit. Patronizing and defensive.
Guy doesn't have the ballsto own up to himself that he gets insecure when stared at. So, instead, his reaction is to front, and to pretend he's being civil. Shit, come on, there was nothing civil. Turns to the rest of us and adds, "what? I was just asking how their lunch was. I was being nice." No the fuck you weren't.
This is not all, of course. A few minutes later, Mr Cynic tells a story. He's in class, "and they gotta do this stupid writing assignment. You know, some stupid-ass in-class writing assignment. So there's this one kid sitting there with his pen on his desk. Just staring at it. Nothing else, not even a piece of paper. So I go over there and I'm like "what's this?" And the kid's like" (puts on a dumb voice) "oh, my pen is broken."
Stop. Yes. Kids do this. The proper response? Be a teacher about it. Don't overreact. Make sure the kid knows he did something wrong, but don't get into a pissing match. (My potential response? Ask them to come up to the desk, check off their name from the role sheet, and tell them, 'you just gave yourself a zero.')
Mr Cynic's response?
Starts wailing about "shit, why don't I just fail you now, and you can leave and never come back? if you don't wanna be in my class, just go! Go ahead, I'm not going to stop you! Don't take my class, go ahead, leave! You can do this some other time! I'll just fail you out right now!" And etc. And etc. And etc.
I mean, seriously? You're getting defensive and outraged and pissed off and fronting about a kid who is TWO-THIRDS YOUR AGE.
THIS IS NOT NECESSARY. YOU ARE THE TEACHER. YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY. I mean, shit, if this was a country where kids routinely misbehaved, where they stood up and called the teacher names and challenged their authority and got all alpha on you, maybe maybe I could understand the reaction.
BUT COME THE FUCK ON. THESE ARE CHINESE KIDS. Their classroom misbehaviour is not dramatic enough to justify yelling, seriously yelling, at a kid, in class, in front of classmates, about some shit like this.
Fffffffffffff.
There is more, of course. But that will have to wait for another entry, as I've gotta go do my residence permit now. But yeah. That's Mr Cynic and The Asshole Behavior That Pissed Me Off Monday.
(For those of you who don't: I hate it. No, seriously, I outright, flat-out, straight-up hate it. I don't hate much, or get angry much, but this is one way to get me really fucking mad: pretend (or, hell, believe) that you have Seen It All and are so world-weary, that everything sucks and there's no fixing it, that the only possible response to it is to mock it incessantly because it all just sucks so much, that life is just irreparably broken and you might as well be an asshole about it.
No. Fuck you. No fuck you, because no.
And hell, I can even understand, sometimes, the reason a person might feel that way. Sure, maybe you go through a lot to get there. But that's when you have to start understanding stuff. You can't go through a whole pile and remain as ignorant as you did before you started. And if your reaction to everything is to be a smartass about it, fuck you buddy and don't come back.
TL;DR: Jadedness and cynicism is possibly the only emotional behaviour Pico flat-out hates.)
So we've got this got this guy in the FTES. He is basically your classic expat: has lived in China for five years and still doesn't speak the language. Classic American expat: lives here, complains about the country, complains about back home, havngs out almost exclusively with foreigners.
(I want to shake him and ask him WTF WRONGWITH YOU, but that's beside the point. That's just my reaction to anyone who lives in another country for years upon years and constantly tries to sheild himself from it. My god, you wouldn't believe how many of the FTES don't know much about the city outside of campus. Beside the point.)
This dude. Lunch. Monday. Mondays are, apparently, weekly lunches at Freckles. (Not the restaurant's name - the English name bestowed upon it by the FTES. They do this a lot: don't bother to learn the place's actual name, but rather give places names based on a characteristic of them. So we've got restaurants like Fat Kid Opening The Door, and Freckles, and The Bar, and The Hotpot Place. It sounds cute at first, but then you realize, 'come on. you - you don't bother?' and you try to tell them the place's real name, and they keep calling it their own nickname. And they always order the same dishes and never buy things they don't know or don't like or things that are Too Foreign, like meat with bones in it, or kimchi.)
So. Lunch. Monday, at Freckles.
We're having lunch, and next to us is this table of old ladies, also lunching. They finish up, and get up, and start leaving. And, as Chinese old ladies do, they walk very slowly by the Table Full Of Foreigners, staring curiously. Most of us keep eating, or smile or nod. Mr Cynic? Mr Cynic leans back in his chair, looks back at the old ladies, and says "yeah? so you like that lunch? Good stuff huh? You like those mushrooms? Yeah, I bet."
You look at these words written, and they don't look so bad. You listen to the tone of voice they're in, and just - shit. Patronizing and defensive.
Guy doesn't have the ballsto own up to himself that he gets insecure when stared at. So, instead, his reaction is to front, and to pretend he's being civil. Shit, come on, there was nothing civil. Turns to the rest of us and adds, "what? I was just asking how their lunch was. I was being nice." No the fuck you weren't.
This is not all, of course. A few minutes later, Mr Cynic tells a story. He's in class, "and they gotta do this stupid writing assignment. You know, some stupid-ass in-class writing assignment. So there's this one kid sitting there with his pen on his desk. Just staring at it. Nothing else, not even a piece of paper. So I go over there and I'm like "what's this?" And the kid's like" (puts on a dumb voice) "oh, my pen is broken."
Stop. Yes. Kids do this. The proper response? Be a teacher about it. Don't overreact. Make sure the kid knows he did something wrong, but don't get into a pissing match. (My potential response? Ask them to come up to the desk, check off their name from the role sheet, and tell them, 'you just gave yourself a zero.')
Mr Cynic's response?
Starts wailing about "shit, why don't I just fail you now, and you can leave and never come back? if you don't wanna be in my class, just go! Go ahead, I'm not going to stop you! Don't take my class, go ahead, leave! You can do this some other time! I'll just fail you out right now!" And etc. And etc. And etc.
I mean, seriously? You're getting defensive and outraged and pissed off and fronting about a kid who is TWO-THIRDS YOUR AGE.
THIS IS NOT NECESSARY. YOU ARE THE TEACHER. YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY. I mean, shit, if this was a country where kids routinely misbehaved, where they stood up and called the teacher names and challenged their authority and got all alpha on you, maybe maybe I could understand the reaction.
BUT COME THE FUCK ON. THESE ARE CHINESE KIDS. Their classroom misbehaviour is not dramatic enough to justify yelling, seriously yelling, at a kid, in class, in front of classmates, about some shit like this.
Fffffffffffff.
There is more, of course. But that will have to wait for another entry, as I've gotta go do my residence permit now. But yeah. That's Mr Cynic and The Asshole Behavior That Pissed Me Off Monday.