(no subject)
So I know I just made a totally upbeat and hyper post like... a day ago.
But now I'm gonna depress you all with a mopey emo post.
You don't have to read this.
So right now, my feelings are pretty much buried in a ditch. Or something. Or maybe I should say they're in a blender. They keep getting mixed up and I have no idea what to feel.
First of all, my summer's been pretty sucky so far. I've had nothing to do except sit on the computer all day and play video games, seeing as now BOTH my parents work, and my sister, Miss Moneybags who never spends a dime, decided she needed to work MORE. So four days out of the week I'm sitting at home with my brothers, who do nothing but argue and I can't handle it. Not to mention the fact that I have upwards of three summer assignments to do for Humanities next year, and I'm not looking foward to them one bit.
And to do with SCHOOL. I have a very strong feeling that sophmore year is going to suck, hard. We only have four classes during the day, and this is how my schedule will be -
Semester 1Semester 2Spanish IISpanish IIPre AB/IB BioChemPre AB/IB BioChemAlgebra II[elective unknown]AP European History / HumanitiesAP European History / Humanities
So, as you can see, I will have ONE FREE BLOCK DURING ONE SEMESTER. FOR THE WHOLE YEAR. Which - sadly enough - I'm praying will be taken up by gym class or health, so I can get one of them out of the way. AND SO IN TURN I FREAKING WON'T HAVE ANY ART CLASSES AGAIN THIS YEAR. And until I take the ELEMENTARY ART CLASS, I can't take any others, like photography or painting or anything. So that completely depresses me to no extent.
Another thing being that I often feel like the awkward "extra" member of the family. I'm rarely included in things - my sister gets special treatment cause she's going to college. My brothers are younger, so they often get Wendy's and Dairy Queen and random presents. But me? Nope. I don't get it. Because I'm old enough that I don't need anything. Of course. That's why. I don't need attention.
And to TOP IT ALL OFF, there was this steak that was in the freezer for a while. Since I'd had a few really bad days / did a good job clearing out my bedroom (we're trying to sell our house), my dad promised me that he'd save it for me. I was supposed to have it last night, but that didn't happen. So then my parents decided that tonight we would have steak, for Father's Day and all. And they bought more for everyone else, but kept the old steak for me. Now, that shouldn't be so bad, but me being the depressed dramatic ass that I am (don't shoot me), I took it personally, and now I'm upset because my steak has become "unspecial". I feel like such an idiotic little kid, but things like this piss me off and depress me. I can't help it. I wish it wasn't this way but it is. I'M FUCKING CRYING OVER STEAK. Somebody please kill me now.
EDIT: Okay. I talked to my parents about this, and now I feel a whole lot better. Thank you, Jammu-chan~ ♥