christmas nowhere
I feel sick about Christmas. I am very stressed now, and I would be perfectly happy if we all decided to just not have Christmas whatsoever this year.
I thought I finally managed to sort out my travel arrangements to get home to PEI - and thought I scored the deal of the century when I booked it! Oh, I was sooooo happy! You should have seen me beaming after I booked it! Turns out though, as I realized only yesterday, that I am just an idiot and I booked it wrong. I booked it backwards, from Charlottetown to Ottawa, and then back to Ch’town, not the other way around. So now I have no fucking idea what I’m going to do. I didn’t get any sleep last night because I was worrying about it. If I switch the ticket around, I have to pay the difference in the price they’re asking, plus a fee. The difference in price on average now is at least about $600, so that’s not really an option. I’m not paying $1000 to go anywhere for four days. I’ll keep checking Air Canada because they randomly change their prices for five minutes here and there, and I might luck out and get a deal, but I am not overly optimistic. In fact, I don't think it'll happen at all. If I can’t get something affordable, I guess I’ll have to cancel the booking (or reschedule it for the summer), and stay in Ottawa for the holidays. I haven’t told my parents yet. I'm kind of scared to tell them, I don't want to disappoint them. I don’t know if the thought of being alone for Christmas is really depressing or not yet, because I’m still so hung up on the stress and uncertainty I haven't been able to let it sink in. I’m sure I'll be depressed, but maybe I’ll be able to convince myself it’s fine...and maybe I will be consoled by buying myself a present, something that would be at least the value of what I would have paid to go home. Maybe.
Speaking of presents...on top of all the travel stress, I haven’t done any shopping yet, and I am clueless and uninspired on what to get anybody. Like, I don’t have one single good idea for a present. I’ve been thinking and looking for ages now, but there is nothing I’ve come across that has struck me as a great present for anyone. Stress stress stress!
I really, really just want to give up and sit out this Christmas. I'll hide out in my basement with the rest of the Golden Girls DVDs I have to watch, until this stupid year is over. The only thing I’m looking forward to is New Years Eve now. Jesse is coming down to visit and making it a nice long weekend, and we’re going out for a fancy dinner with lots of friends. Then this waste of a year will be over.
OK, I swear, sometime I’ll update again when I’m in a good mood. I’m pretty much a Debbie-Downer lately.
I thought I finally managed to sort out my travel arrangements to get home to PEI - and thought I scored the deal of the century when I booked it! Oh, I was sooooo happy! You should have seen me beaming after I booked it! Turns out though, as I realized only yesterday, that I am just an idiot and I booked it wrong. I booked it backwards, from Charlottetown to Ottawa, and then back to Ch’town, not the other way around. So now I have no fucking idea what I’m going to do. I didn’t get any sleep last night because I was worrying about it. If I switch the ticket around, I have to pay the difference in the price they’re asking, plus a fee. The difference in price on average now is at least about $600, so that’s not really an option. I’m not paying $1000 to go anywhere for four days. I’ll keep checking Air Canada because they randomly change their prices for five minutes here and there, and I might luck out and get a deal, but I am not overly optimistic. In fact, I don't think it'll happen at all. If I can’t get something affordable, I guess I’ll have to cancel the booking (or reschedule it for the summer), and stay in Ottawa for the holidays. I haven’t told my parents yet. I'm kind of scared to tell them, I don't want to disappoint them. I don’t know if the thought of being alone for Christmas is really depressing or not yet, because I’m still so hung up on the stress and uncertainty I haven't been able to let it sink in. I’m sure I'll be depressed, but maybe I’ll be able to convince myself it’s fine...and maybe I will be consoled by buying myself a present, something that would be at least the value of what I would have paid to go home. Maybe.
Speaking of presents...on top of all the travel stress, I haven’t done any shopping yet, and I am clueless and uninspired on what to get anybody. Like, I don’t have one single good idea for a present. I’ve been thinking and looking for ages now, but there is nothing I’ve come across that has struck me as a great present for anyone. Stress stress stress!
I really, really just want to give up and sit out this Christmas. I'll hide out in my basement with the rest of the Golden Girls DVDs I have to watch, until this stupid year is over. The only thing I’m looking forward to is New Years Eve now. Jesse is coming down to visit and making it a nice long weekend, and we’re going out for a fancy dinner with lots of friends. Then this waste of a year will be over.
OK, I swear, sometime I’ll update again when I’m in a good mood. I’m pretty much a Debbie-Downer lately.