ya know what i've learned over the past couple days?

Jun 16, 2007 01:10

other than the fact that there are so few psuedo-solid foods that I enjoy?

that I need to L2NotBeSuchARetard.

I think I may have finally shed some light on a large chunk of my problems with the ladies.

  • First and foremost, I have the horrible luck to be considered undatable by the worst percentage of women possible. (X% where X=the percent of ( Read more... )

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read this wickedricia June 18 2007, 08:25:31 UTC
a friend of mines lj from yesterdayish...i think it applys to you and might help you ^-^
I am happy to be spending time with dad tomorrow for a BBQ outside for fathers day. Hopefully it won't rain. Other than that I have alot going on in my head. I've been contemplating about my actions from last semester, don't know why I keep thinking about it. I have come to terms that I have a relatioship anxiety. Whenever I feel that someone has any stong feelings for me I get scared and feel trapped and bounce lol. I tell people that I do like them up front but that has literally only happen twice in my life. I thnk its because I throw out all the wrong signals and then they back fire on me. I find a person attractive, toy with them in any means and then once they start to grow more close to me like a moth to a flame I put it out. I end up confused myself or end up being selfish and call it off. I'm watching Hitch right now lol. People that I like don't want me, People I don't like want me. Ugh.... I'm trying to figure myself out. I can't help but to feel like I am ugly when it comes to this piece of my life. The only piece that never seems to work for me and one other person. Everyone else seem like their pros at this thing called ..not love...but attraction, just being able to deal with it and get who they want. I have used people to compensate for the person that I could not have. I guessthis is my new found way of handling rejection, what little REAL rejection I had in my life. I did have plenty of "sure maybes and sometime in the near futures.." (which hurt a hell of a lot more if you ask me.) That there builds the whole trustworthy issue: the turst of 'oh god I hope they don't hurt me in the worst way possible' issue. This is why I think I have this anxiety. I just can't give myself up to a person yet I guess...its too big for me or I always have the doubts or I was just never to close to anyone or nobody gave methe chance to be that intimate. I'm willing but I just never get the willing particapant that I want lol it so sounds like a game show but isn't always compared to as a game. A falls for B. B rejects along A but wants C. C uses B but likes D. D doesn't want anything to do with C and secertly wants A but knows A is in love with B. Confusing yes? Don't mind this, I treat LJ like a personal diary. Um.. I didn't make it personal because I want Opinions,theories, Comments. Thoughts people thoughts.

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