In less then 12 hours I will 39 years old. I feel it. I feel it every which way and how. My body is all ew and stuff. My brain has gone to mush and my soul is not my own
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I understand completely how you feel. While we're in different situations, I do know how it feels to feel... forgotten... on your birthday. I grew up in a family where birthdays were made into a big deal. Even if there was no money, a cook-out would be had, or I was allowed to invite friends over or something. Something to make my day a bit more special. And now that I've moved out of my family's house, it's a struggle to get Dennis to see how important it is to me. Because any way I explain it, I sound like a selfish, greedy brat who is only looking to be the center of attention. But it's my birthday.
There were at least two years in a row that I did nothing on my birthday, because I was waiting on Dennis to at least call our friends and invite them to dinner. One year, granted, I was sick. But even if I wasn't, nothing would have happened. Now he thinks he needs to plan these extravagant outings, and worse, he thinks he needs to top last year's plans. He has yet to completely understand that I'm not looking for something big. That isn't what I mean. What I want is just to know that he remembered, and wanted to do something special. Something to break up the monotony of my week. Because, let's face it, by August I'm pretty damned depressed. No work, home alone all day.... it'd be nice to remember that someone cares about me, and thinks I'm important enough to want to celebrate the fact that I was even born.
So in a way, I really do get why you feel the way you do. The circumstances are a bit different, but the underlying message is the same. And it hurts even more when my friends roll their eyes, and tell me things like, "Well it's August... time for your usual 'woe is me' birthday post." Some friends, huh?
If we could, we'd come down to go to dinner with you. Because you're a wonderful person, and don't deserve to be alone on your birthday, of all days. Unfortunately, with money being as it is (not present in our bank account), we will have to wait until you come up for my birthday, and do something for you then. :) Both of us get belated birthday things this year!
There were at least two years in a row that I did nothing on my birthday, because I was waiting on Dennis to at least call our friends and invite them to dinner. One year, granted, I was sick. But even if I wasn't, nothing would have happened. Now he thinks he needs to plan these extravagant outings, and worse, he thinks he needs to top last year's plans. He has yet to completely understand that I'm not looking for something big. That isn't what I mean. What I want is just to know that he remembered, and wanted to do something special. Something to break up the monotony of my week. Because, let's face it, by August I'm pretty damned depressed. No work, home alone all day.... it'd be nice to remember that someone cares about me, and thinks I'm important enough to want to celebrate the fact that I was even born.
So in a way, I really do get why you feel the way you do. The circumstances are a bit different, but the underlying message is the same. And it hurts even more when my friends roll their eyes, and tell me things like, "Well it's August... time for your usual 'woe is me' birthday post." Some friends, huh?
If we could, we'd come down to go to dinner with you. Because you're a wonderful person, and don't deserve to be alone on your birthday, of all days. Unfortunately, with money being as it is (not present in our bank account), we will have to wait until you come up for my birthday, and do something for you then. :) Both of us get belated birthday things this year!
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