Duhhhhhh hurrrrr....
Jeez, I've only been in Sadfuck for the past two days and it's already gotten to me.
"Do you guys do something that's known as Bang Bang Chicken? Do you know what that is??"
Yes, I know what that is. No, we don't serve it. Christ almighty, if it's not on our menu, we don't serve it. Do you think we have a secret unwritten menu for members only or something??
"Please serve us something, we're SO HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!" "HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!!!!" (this was SHOUTED down my ear)
Awwww, are you hungry? Well tough. It's 12am, our closing time. If you wanted something to eat that badly, you should've come in earlier.
"What's the difference between the special fried rice cantonese and the special chow mein cantonese?"
WHAT THE FUCK
"Would you take £2 for the egg fried rice instead of £2.30???"
No, simple. It's £2.30 for a reason.
"You're going to charge me for the prawn crackers? But I got it for free last time!"
So? We give free prawn crackers for orders over a certain price. Your order this time, clearly is not over that price. Fucking pay, or fucking get out.
"And can you tell them to not put any MONOSODIUM GLUTOMATE IN IT THIS TIME."
Dude, ff you don't want MSG, fine, but don't shout it to me when I'm standing just infront of you. And the fact that you actually said monosodium glutomate does not impress anyone.
"Watch the tele? Nah, I'd rather watch you."
Your creepy words make me want to shit in your curry. And I don't like it when you people want to shake hands. I'd rather lick a squashed cat.
"I didn't order three 29s, I know because I gave you NUMBERS!"
Yes, you gave me numbers. So? I remember you asked for three 29s because you asked for one at the beginning then two at the end of your order and I even asked to make sure. Bitch, don't make out it was MY fault. Didn't you know that the customer isn't always right?
"OK, well the thing I'm worried about is actually the difference in money because they're not priced the same are they?"
No, they're not the same price. I would happily give you the money back if you brought back what "we" got wrong on your order (which, she DIDN'T do but I had to obligingly hand back the difference). And by the way, the difference came to a grand total of £1. Doesn't it cost you more to drive all the way down here then all the way back just to pick up the things YOU got wrong?
"Can I get the sweet and sour prawn?"
Really, please be more specific. We have more than one sweet and sour prawns. The ones in batter or the ones which are done in the cantonese style?
"Erm, yeah, I think so."
Dude, that doesn't help in any way whatsoever.
"Excuse me, I've been sitting there patiently for quite sometime now and you've still not brought out my telephone order."
I apologise. I apologise because you're so stupid for not coming up to the counter to tell me your name so I know you've arrived and to let me know which order is yours. It's all my fault really, I should've known. When will I ever learn? You dickjob.
For you guys out there who are looking for a great way to creep out the girl working in your local takeaway, I've found the best way to do it. After she hands you your crappy order of one cheapass item (be it chips, a springroll or fucking prawn toast), linger at the counter for a while like a bad smell until other customers have vacated the premises then pounce.
"So, are you from around here?"
If she replies no and shuts up, keep going on at her.
"Ahh, I thought not, so where are you from?"
If she begrudgingly gives you the name of where she's from (let's just say London for example), keep on poking in.
"What part of London? What part of East London? What's your nearest station?? Where are you staying while you're here then???"
Make sure you point out that you have a friend living in said area of London (just to make sure she doesn't think you want to stalk her). At this point, she's primed for the all time killer line.
"So, I was thinking maybe you'd want to go out for a drink sometime next week?"
Success rate stands at 99.99%, but if she is that oddball 0.01%, never fear. You always know where she lives. And always end it with a line which you cut off at the end, such as:
"Well, can't blame a guy for trying! Take care my lovely-..."
It's guaranteed to send shivers down her spine for rejecting your advances. And from that day on, you will be known as a yellow fever so that way, she'll never forget you!
If you're the girl on the receiving end of this amazing chat up routine, NEVER tell them the truth.
Have read DGM ch187. OMG yay, can't wait until December! And does anyone else think that Tyki is not so pretty anymore without his suit? In anycase, NEED MOAR LAVI.
I've been trying to keep myself sane amongst the crazy people by replaying LoZ: Oracle of Ages. It's been such a long time but I'm surprised I actually remember quite a lot of it. Currently at Spirit Dungeon for the fourth essence. The only thing that I DID forget was that if I wanted to get Ricky rather than the Moosh or Dimitri, I was supposed to pick up the Strange Flute after I had met him. Now I'm stuck with Dimitri T_T I want Ricky...
"Do you guys do something that's known as Bang Bang Chicken? Do you know what that is??"
Yes, I know what that is. No, we don't serve it. Christ almighty, if it's not on our menu, we don't serve it. Do you think we have a secret unwritten menu for members only or something??
"Please serve us something, we're SO HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!" "HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!!!!" (this was SHOUTED down my ear)
Awwww, are you hungry? Well tough. It's 12am, our closing time. If you wanted something to eat that badly, you should've come in earlier.
"What's the difference between the special fried rice cantonese and the special chow mein cantonese?"
WHAT THE FUCK
"Would you take £2 for the egg fried rice instead of £2.30???"
No, simple. It's £2.30 for a reason.
"You're going to charge me for the prawn crackers? But I got it for free last time!"
So? We give free prawn crackers for orders over a certain price. Your order this time, clearly is not over that price. Fucking pay, or fucking get out.
"And can you tell them to not put any MONOSODIUM GLUTOMATE IN IT THIS TIME."
Dude, ff you don't want MSG, fine, but don't shout it to me when I'm standing just infront of you. And the fact that you actually said monosodium glutomate does not impress anyone.
"Watch the tele? Nah, I'd rather watch you."
Your creepy words make me want to shit in your curry. And I don't like it when you people want to shake hands. I'd rather lick a squashed cat.
"I didn't order three 29s, I know because I gave you NUMBERS!"
Yes, you gave me numbers. So? I remember you asked for three 29s because you asked for one at the beginning then two at the end of your order and I even asked to make sure. Bitch, don't make out it was MY fault. Didn't you know that the customer isn't always right?
"OK, well the thing I'm worried about is actually the difference in money because they're not priced the same are they?"
No, they're not the same price. I would happily give you the money back if you brought back what "we" got wrong on your order (which, she DIDN'T do but I had to obligingly hand back the difference). And by the way, the difference came to a grand total of £1. Doesn't it cost you more to drive all the way down here then all the way back just to pick up the things YOU got wrong?
"Can I get the sweet and sour prawn?"
Really, please be more specific. We have more than one sweet and sour prawns. The ones in batter or the ones which are done in the cantonese style?
"Erm, yeah, I think so."
Dude, that doesn't help in any way whatsoever.
"Excuse me, I've been sitting there patiently for quite sometime now and you've still not brought out my telephone order."
I apologise. I apologise because you're so stupid for not coming up to the counter to tell me your name so I know you've arrived and to let me know which order is yours. It's all my fault really, I should've known. When will I ever learn? You dickjob.
For you guys out there who are looking for a great way to creep out the girl working in your local takeaway, I've found the best way to do it. After she hands you your crappy order of one cheapass item (be it chips, a springroll or fucking prawn toast), linger at the counter for a while like a bad smell until other customers have vacated the premises then pounce.
"So, are you from around here?"
If she replies no and shuts up, keep going on at her.
"Ahh, I thought not, so where are you from?"
If she begrudgingly gives you the name of where she's from (let's just say London for example), keep on poking in.
"What part of London? What part of East London? What's your nearest station?? Where are you staying while you're here then???"
Make sure you point out that you have a friend living in said area of London (just to make sure she doesn't think you want to stalk her). At this point, she's primed for the all time killer line.
"So, I was thinking maybe you'd want to go out for a drink sometime next week?"
Success rate stands at 99.99%, but if she is that oddball 0.01%, never fear. You always know where she lives. And always end it with a line which you cut off at the end, such as:
"Well, can't blame a guy for trying! Take care my lovely-..."
It's guaranteed to send shivers down her spine for rejecting your advances. And from that day on, you will be known as a yellow fever so that way, she'll never forget you!
If you're the girl on the receiving end of this amazing chat up routine, NEVER tell them the truth.
Have read DGM ch187. OMG yay, can't wait until December! And does anyone else think that Tyki is not so pretty anymore without his suit? In anycase, NEED MOAR LAVI.
I've been trying to keep myself sane amongst the crazy people by replaying LoZ: Oracle of Ages. It's been such a long time but I'm surprised I actually remember quite a lot of it. Currently at Spirit Dungeon for the fourth essence. The only thing that I DID forget was that if I wanted to get Ricky rather than the Moosh or Dimitri, I was supposed to pick up the Strange Flute after I had met him. Now I'm stuck with Dimitri T_T I want Ricky...