Ah and somehow I knew...
So.. Happy Premature Thanksgiving. Not quite the same effect as a premature ejaculation, so don't get the two confused. You'd have some pretty nasty turkey, that's for sure..
As you all know this semester has been totally craptastic for me and my 19 hour clubbage, only to get worse with the coming of finals. In order to prepare myself for the upcoming few weeks, I have decided to bring home some work for me to get done. Let me just say.. I freaking knew better.
I came home with a schedule, a plan. An idea of what I wanted to accomplish. A Turkey Day goal. Once again, I knew better.
So far I have accomplished reading approximately 3 pages in one of 3 books I wanted to read. I have asked my dad to rent the two movies I need to watch to write my papers, and haven't watched either one. I have a pile of things to sort through, and I have sorted through ZERO. So, basically, of all the crap I wanted to do, I have accomplished 3 pages of reading. Fantastic.
Like I said, I knew better.
Especially now that my Dad has attempted to put the cabash (sp) on my little sleepovers, I must now spend more of my day with Ian. Which.. ok, not going to lie, was going to happen anyway.
In addition, I feel that I must dedicate my time to family get togethers in order to compensate for lost time. I feel as though these two things alone are going to fill my entire break with stuff to do.
I also have to get an estimate on my vehicle, do a little random shopping, and go to the 89 doctors appointments I have scheduled for myself. Perhaps I can get some work done then.
I'm not complaining.. don't get me wrong. I love the get togethers and the valuable time I spend with others.. but what in the world is it about being home that sucks up all of my homework-doing time? Everything here takes precedence over my stupid work. Why?? Because the work is stupid, that's why. Ahh, whatever. Its not really that important.
And its weird. Its like I don't even belong here. Here I am, doing what I do best and doing my own thing, and I constantly feel like I'm stepping on toes where I never did before. I'm always out late and when I come home everyone;s asleep--lights out, game over. So I have to be all hush-hush when I come in. Then, I like to sleep with my TV on so I have to close my door because otherwise I feel as though I'm waking people up.. even with the door closed I feel I'm keeping people awake. Then, I avoid coming home altogether and its 'inappropriate'.. although I understand.. I disagree. Then I complain about how things are. The bathroom isn't clean, there's no edible (healthy) food in the house, there are no freakin tampons... I swear I'm more of a burden to this house than necessary.
Not to say that my family makes me feel like I'm a burden. If I were to express these thoughts to my father, he would be quick to deny it. I, however, realize that this is inevitably so. I mean, seriously.. I don't belong here in this house of boys. My brother almost doesn't belong here anymore, but he does moreso than I.
And I totally feel guilty because I feel this way. Like I can't stand to be here sometimes, and therefore I am abandoning my family. I'm letting them fall behind, whereas they should be my number one priority. Not to say that they aren't, because if anything were to happen I'd be there, and I definitely try to be there when I can... I just am getting to the point, I guess, where I'm realizing more and more that I'm growing up and growing out of living at home.
Its about time to get a real job and move out.
Speaking of real jobs, its time for me to get to sleep. I have a doctors appointment at 2 in the afternoon, and I'm just not sure I could get up in time to make it. Ha.
That was a joke..
As you all know this semester has been totally craptastic for me and my 19 hour clubbage, only to get worse with the coming of finals. In order to prepare myself for the upcoming few weeks, I have decided to bring home some work for me to get done. Let me just say.. I freaking knew better.
I came home with a schedule, a plan. An idea of what I wanted to accomplish. A Turkey Day goal. Once again, I knew better.
So far I have accomplished reading approximately 3 pages in one of 3 books I wanted to read. I have asked my dad to rent the two movies I need to watch to write my papers, and haven't watched either one. I have a pile of things to sort through, and I have sorted through ZERO. So, basically, of all the crap I wanted to do, I have accomplished 3 pages of reading. Fantastic.
Like I said, I knew better.
Especially now that my Dad has attempted to put the cabash (sp) on my little sleepovers, I must now spend more of my day with Ian. Which.. ok, not going to lie, was going to happen anyway.
In addition, I feel that I must dedicate my time to family get togethers in order to compensate for lost time. I feel as though these two things alone are going to fill my entire break with stuff to do.
I also have to get an estimate on my vehicle, do a little random shopping, and go to the 89 doctors appointments I have scheduled for myself. Perhaps I can get some work done then.
I'm not complaining.. don't get me wrong. I love the get togethers and the valuable time I spend with others.. but what in the world is it about being home that sucks up all of my homework-doing time? Everything here takes precedence over my stupid work. Why?? Because the work is stupid, that's why. Ahh, whatever. Its not really that important.
And its weird. Its like I don't even belong here. Here I am, doing what I do best and doing my own thing, and I constantly feel like I'm stepping on toes where I never did before. I'm always out late and when I come home everyone;s asleep--lights out, game over. So I have to be all hush-hush when I come in. Then, I like to sleep with my TV on so I have to close my door because otherwise I feel as though I'm waking people up.. even with the door closed I feel I'm keeping people awake. Then, I avoid coming home altogether and its 'inappropriate'.. although I understand.. I disagree. Then I complain about how things are. The bathroom isn't clean, there's no edible (healthy) food in the house, there are no freakin tampons... I swear I'm more of a burden to this house than necessary.
Not to say that my family makes me feel like I'm a burden. If I were to express these thoughts to my father, he would be quick to deny it. I, however, realize that this is inevitably so. I mean, seriously.. I don't belong here in this house of boys. My brother almost doesn't belong here anymore, but he does moreso than I.
And I totally feel guilty because I feel this way. Like I can't stand to be here sometimes, and therefore I am abandoning my family. I'm letting them fall behind, whereas they should be my number one priority. Not to say that they aren't, because if anything were to happen I'd be there, and I definitely try to be there when I can... I just am getting to the point, I guess, where I'm realizing more and more that I'm growing up and growing out of living at home.
Its about time to get a real job and move out.
Speaking of real jobs, its time for me to get to sleep. I have a doctors appointment at 2 in the afternoon, and I'm just not sure I could get up in time to make it. Ha.
That was a joke..