why so sad
Today was like the fucking worst day in forever. I hated today so much. UGH! The guy that I like that starts with a C pissed me off so freaking bad today. Like right now I am so depressed!!! I wanna fucking like beat something up. Anyways we had a pep rally today and t sucked like every other one and then I see him and my friends freaking make me sit right in front of him. it was kind of embarissing!! But I sat like right in front of him so it was cool. So like he kept looking out of the corner of his eye at me. We talk on line and that's how we know each other but we've never talked in school before. So he kept looking out of the corner of his eye and you know i have my hopes all up that he's gonna talk to me and everything and HE DOESN'T!!!!!! I was like what the fuck. But he kept looking at me and he was telling his friend something about me I don't really know what the hell it was. But whatever. So then at the end of the pep rally I turn around to see him and his slut girlfriend was already there all over him! The thing is that she doesn't even go to our school. She lives up in coral springs. So I guess like someone dropped her off at the school that she could see him or something. not cool. Really not cool. i mean that was like my fucking chance but NO! ugh!!!!!!! my life fucking sucks. THe thing about is that I got my hopes all high and everything just so this fucking idiot could drop them right back down. The thing that bothers me is that he's been giving me these signs that he likes me and everything so that's why you know I got my hopes all high. SO now i know to never get them back up. I'm so serious. What I'm feeling right now hurts so bad. I'm at Gabbie's house and I'm serious that i didn't go to her house I would be at home crying my poor little heart out and eating food. Lol. I want him to know all of these feelings that are hiding inside but I just can't. Why do I have to have such freaking low confidence. WHY!?!?!?! ugh. I think that he was dispointed in the way that my body is. I'm way too fat! I think I'm gonna cry though. Plus Gabbie's bringing her boyfriend over and I know that they are gonna be all over each other. So that gives me another reason to cry cause I'm all alone. Oh well. That's how my life is