(no subject)
it was so slow at work tonight...i just wanted to fall on the floor and sleep.
i'm praying that the hurricane hits here tomorrow so i don't have to work at the shack.
but knowing these crazy people, they'll golf hurricane or not.
i asked joelle today if anything was going on tomorrow, cuz she said that maybe sunday was the day i could go out with them and Matt.
she said nothing's going on, i think she forgot the mission.
all night i felt hopeless and caged in my own mind and it's snowball effect.
"i'll never get to go out with Matt...i'll never find anyone who likes me...all i need is a guy so i can be loved and feel safe in order to be happy...i'll never be happy, etc."
so hopelessness was the theme of the night.
but i decided that if nothing ever happened because no one tried, that would be my fault.
when you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.
so i asked him if he was doing anything tomorrow and i got his cell phone number, he told me to give him a call or if i was in to come visit him at the pub.
i'm still feeling negatively about this whole thing..about life. but i'll give it a shot.
when i talked to jenna tonight i realized im kind of jealous because she's seeing this guy jay...i wish i had that option...that someone liked me.
as i was hanging up i asked for her to pray for me, for one good thing to happen...if it's not Matt...just something else that's good.
it just came out, i didn't even think about it. i just need one thing right now, something really good.
i'm praying that the hurricane hits here tomorrow so i don't have to work at the shack.
but knowing these crazy people, they'll golf hurricane or not.
i asked joelle today if anything was going on tomorrow, cuz she said that maybe sunday was the day i could go out with them and Matt.
she said nothing's going on, i think she forgot the mission.
all night i felt hopeless and caged in my own mind and it's snowball effect.
"i'll never get to go out with Matt...i'll never find anyone who likes me...all i need is a guy so i can be loved and feel safe in order to be happy...i'll never be happy, etc."
so hopelessness was the theme of the night.
but i decided that if nothing ever happened because no one tried, that would be my fault.
when you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.
so i asked him if he was doing anything tomorrow and i got his cell phone number, he told me to give him a call or if i was in to come visit him at the pub.
i'm still feeling negatively about this whole thing..about life. but i'll give it a shot.
when i talked to jenna tonight i realized im kind of jealous because she's seeing this guy jay...i wish i had that option...that someone liked me.
as i was hanging up i asked for her to pray for me, for one good thing to happen...if it's not Matt...just something else that's good.
it just came out, i didn't even think about it. i just need one thing right now, something really good.