My Life In Slow Motion
So.....I haven't written a real entry in this thing in a while so I figured now was as good a time as any. Everything is kinda in slow motion in my life right now...if that makes any sense. It's like I see something happen and then the world stops and I examine the situation then push play and react to it. You would think that would mean that I would be doing quite well and everything would be great because I can think before I act...you would also think that that would mean I would be in complete control of my own life and everything would made perfect sense to me. Well those assumptions are wrong. I still make the worst decisions, I still feel helpless to stop the downward spiral my life is in, and I am more confused then ever. I don't understand my own logical outlook on things...like how can I enjoy being with someone, who treats me far better then anyone else ever has, so much yet not know if I want to be with them. Then of course as if that wasn't bad enough lets just toss another thing into the equation...this feeling that was been with me for 10 months and 2 days...no matter what I do I can't make it go away. It's not fair to me or the others who are directly involved in the situation for me to hold on...but that little bit of hope, no matter how small, is always persent in my mind. I'm not sure what it will take to rid my self of it, but I'm not sure if I want it to happen..."And if its healthier to leave you be, may a sickness come and set me free. Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me."
~Jessica Ann~
~Jessica Ann~